What’s “Acceptable” Help in Parenting—And Who Decides That, Anyway?

Somewhere along the parenting journey, an invisible rulebook shows up.

It’s not printed.
No one hands it to you at the hospital.
But suddenly, you feel it.

You feel it when you say you’re working with a lactation consultant and everyone nods approvingly.
You feel it when you hire a doula and people say, “That’s amazing, such great support.”
You feel it when your child sees a speech pathologist, OT, or vision therapist and everyone agrees: “Of course, that’s responsible parenting.”

And then…

You mention a sleep coach.

And the air shifts.

Suddenly there are raised eyebrows.
Side comments.
Silence.
Judgment wrapped in curiosity.

“Why do you need that?”
“Isn’t that something parents should just figure out?”
“Are you trying to make your baby independent too early?”

So let’s talk about it. Honestly.

The Quiet Hierarchy of “Acceptable” Help

In our culture, some kinds of help are celebrated:

• Lactation support

• Doulas

• Nutritionists

• Occupational therapy

• Speech pathology

• Acupuncture (Yes, I am a HUGE fan but many people doubt the validity)

• Chiropractic care (sometimes) 

• Craniosacral therapy (sometimes)

• Myofascial release (what is this? ..ha, ha, sometimes) 

• Vision therapy

The above is seen as loving. Proactive. Wise.

But other kinds of help, especially around sleep help, parent coaching, get labeled differently:

• “It’s Unnecessary”

• “You should just tough it out”

• “That’s part of parenting”

• “Your kid will grow out of it” 

• “Your ruin your relationship/trust with your child”

Why?

Why is it brave to get help for feeding…
But weak to get help for sleeping?

Why is it responsible to seek support for speech…
But shameful to seek support for rest?

How Much Should You Suffer Before You’re “Allowed” Help?

Here’s the unspoken rule many parents absorb:

You can get help…
But only after you’re completely broken.

After you’ve:

• Tried everything

• Googled at 2 a.m. for months

• Fought with your partner

• Cried in the shower

• Lost your sense of yourself

• Normalized exhaustion as your personality

Only then do you feel “justified.”

And that breaks my heart.

Because in almost every other category, we don’t do that.

If your child struggled to eat, you wouldn’t say:
“Let’s wait three more years and see if he naturally learns to eat better.”

If your child couldn’t speak clearly, you wouldn’t say:
“I’ll just hope for the best that he will learn to speak better when he is “ready” 

You would say:
“My child is struggling in an area. Let’s get support.”

That’s good parenting.

You Are Not Meant to Be Everything

Somewhere along the way, parenting got twisted into this impossible standard:

You must be:

• The expert

• The therapist

• The teacher

• The sleep specialist

• The feeding specialist

• The emotional regulator

• The solution

All by yourself.

That’s not strength.
That’s isolation dressed up as virtue.

Good parenting is not doing everything alone.
Good parenting is noticing where your child needs support…and finding it.

Sometimes that support is you.
Sometimes that support is someone else.

Both count.

Sleep Is Not a Moral Issue

Sleep is not a character flaw.
It is not a parenting failure.
It is not proof that you’re doing something wrong.

Sleep is a biological skill that develops with guidance, safety, rhythm, and support—just like:

• Eating

• Speaking

• Moving

• Regulating emotions

Some kids slide into it easily.
Some don’t.

That doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you human.

Hiring a sleep coach is not giving up.
It is stepping in.

It says:
“My child is struggling here.
And I love them enough to get support.”

That is not failure.
That is leadership.

Redefining “Acceptable” Help

So maybe the real question isn’t:

“Is this kind of help acceptable?”

Maybe the better question is:

“Is my child struggling in this area?”
“Is my family paying a price for not getting support?”
“Would I judge myself this way if the problem was about feeding or speech, or behavior?”

You don’t have to earn help through suffering.
You don’t have to break before you’re allowed support.
You don’t have to prove you’re miserable enough until you ask for help.

Strong parents don’t do it all.
Strong parents build a team.

And sometimes, that team includes a sleep coach.

Not because you failed.
But because you cared enough to notice—and brave enough to respond.

Frequently Asked Questions

• Is hiring a sleep coach worth it?

  Many families find that working with a gentle sleep coach provides personalized guidance, reassurance, and practical strategies tailored to their child's temperament, age, and developmental needs. Rather than relying on conflicting advice, parents receive a plan that supports healthy sleep while respecting their parenting values.

• Does hiring a sleep coach mean I've failed?

  Not at all. Seeking support is a proactive parenting decision, just like working with a lactation consultant, speech therapist, or occupational therapist. Asking for help shows that you're committed to finding solutions that benefit your child and your family.

• Is gentle sleep coaching the same as "cry it out"?

  No. Gentle sleep coaching focuses on responsive, individualized approaches that teach healthy sleep skills while supporting the parent-child relationship. It is not a one-size-fits-all method.

• When should I consider working with a sleep coach?

  If sleep challenges are affecting your child's well-being, your own health, or your family's quality of life, it may be time to seek support. You don't have to wait until you're completely exhausted before asking for help.

  Do I need a sleep coach Free Guide

• Why is there so much guilt around baby sleep?

  Many parents receive conflicting advice about sleep and feel pressure to solve sleep challenges on their own. This can create unnecessary guilt, even though seeking professional guidance is common in many other areas of parenting.

• Can a sleep coach support gentle parenting?

  Yes. Many gentle sleep coaches use responsive, relationship-based approaches that align with gentle parenting and attachment parenting values while helping children develop healthy, age-appropriate sleep skills.

“I’ll Believe It When I See It”: The Real Emotions Parents Feel When Starting Sleep Coaching

Deciding to get help with your baby’s sleep is rarely a simple decision.

For most parents, it comes after months of exhaustion, late-night Googling, second-guessing, and wondering if things will ever get easier.

And even after saying yes to sleep coaching, the emotions don’t magically disappear.

One family I’m currently working with described that moment perfectly:

“I was feeling relief that we were finally taking action on his sleep. At the same time, I was nervous about whether it would work.”

If you’re standing at that crossroads—wanting better sleep but wondering if coaching will actually work for your baby—you are not alone.

These feelings are incredibly common.

The Pain Points That Led This Family to Seek Help

Like many families, these parents had reached the point where their nights felt unpredictable and exhausting.

Evenings weren’t relaxing. They were spent waiting.

Waiting for the next wake-up.
Waiting to hear cries through the monitor.
Waiting to see how the night would unfold.

That constant anticipation can be one of the most draining parts of poor sleep.

Instead of enjoying quiet time together after bedtime, they felt stuck in a cycle of anxiety and interruption.

At the same time, the questions many parents ask before hiring a sleep coach were running through their minds:

• What if this doesn’t work for my baby?

• Is this really worth the financial investment?

• What if we try this and nothing changes?

For example, this mom shared:

“I remember thinking I really hope this works because otherwise I feel like we’re out of options.”

Sleep coaching is both an emotional and financial commitment, and it’s completely normal for parents to feel uncertain before getting started.

Saying Yes: Relief Mixed With Doubt

When they officially decided to begin coaching, the feeling wasn’t just excitement.

It was a mix of hope, relief, and nervous anticipation.

On one hand, they felt relief that they were finally taking action. On the other hand, they wondered how their son would respond and whether the process would work for their particular child.

This mom said something I hear often from parents:

“Joanna has great reviews and everything she’s saying makes sense… but my baby is really tough, so I’ll believe it when I see it.”

And honestly, that mindset makes total sense.

Parents aren’t looking for promises, they’re looking for proof.

Preparing for the Process

After saying yes to coaching, these parents wanted to make sure they made the most of the experience.

They focused on preparing, learning, and completing the action steps leading up to the start of coaching.

Because for them, it was important to fully commit to the process.

As the mom explained:

“It was a financial commitment for us, so I wanted to make sure we were really maximizing our time and learning as much as possible.”

At the same time, they reminded themselves that getting help was the right decision, even if it still felt uncertain.

“I was saying that it was the right decision to get help. Even though it still felt uncertain, I was confident that we really needed help and that our current situation wasn’t sustainable.”

Many parents reach this point where they realize something has to change.

And sometimes the most powerful step forward is simply asking for support.

The First Nights: Expecting the Worst

One of the biggest fears parents have when starting sleep coaching is what those first nights will look like.

Many families prepare themselves for long stretches of crying or intense protests.

These parents expected that too.

But what actually happened surprised them.

Instead of overwhelming nights, they started seeing progress faster than they anticipated.

And as their began learning how to settle himself to sleep, everything began to shift.

The Biggest Change: Transforming Their Nights

The most noticeable improvements for this family have been during the night.

Their child has started falling asleep independently, something that previously felt out of reach.

He’s also staying asleep longer, and sometimes even sleeping through the night.

For his parents, this has been a huge shift.

“Our nights have been transformed.”

And with those improved nights came something many parents desperately miss: peaceful evenings.

“We are able to relax a lot more in the evenings now because we aren’t just waiting for our son to wake up.”

When families move from anxious waiting to actually relaxing after bedtime, it can completely change the rhythm of the household.

The Impact on Family Life

Because this family is still in the middle of their sleep coaching journey, everything is still unfolding—but they’re already noticing some meaningful shifts.

More sleep has brought:

• More rest for both parents
  A sense of relief

• Renewed optimism about their baby’s sleep

• Calm evenings instead of stressful ones

• “We are both getting more rest now which is a game changer.”

When parents begin sleeping better, everything in family life tends to feel more manageable.

The Next Step on the Stairway to Sleep: Mastering Naps

One thing I often explain to families is that sleep learning tends to happen in stages, what I like to call the Stairway to Sleep.

Nightime sleep is the first step and once learning how to fall asleep independently and nights become more predictable and consistent, we can then move on to strengthening daytime sleep.

With nights becoming much more stable, the next step is mastering naps. This is a very natural progression.

Sleep coaching isn’t about quick fixes—it’s about teaching babies sustainable sleep skills step by step.

Frequently Asked Questions

• Is it normal to feel nervous before starting sleep coaching?

  Yes. Many parents feel hopeful and anxious at the same time. Sleep coaching is both an emotional and financial investment, so it's completely normal to wonder whether it will work for your baby. But with the right sleep plan and the right pace to match the temperament of your child, we can be successfully working day-by-day to customize teaching your child the sleep skills. I also have a Sleep Success Guarantee so you can feel confident in the investment.

• Does gentle sleep coaching involve leaving babies to cry?

  Gentle sleep coaching focuses on teaching independent sleep using responsive, age-appropriate methods. The approach is individualized for each family and does not rely on a one-size-fits-all method. The parent is in the room with the child and can offer both physical and verbal assurances and be responsive.

• How quickly do families see progress?

  Every baby is different, but many families notice positive changes within the first 3-5 days as children begin learning independent sleep skills. Consistency and individualized support are key.

• What if my baby has a difficult temperament?

  Parents often worry that their baby is "too difficult" for sleep coaching. While every child is unique, gentle sleep coaching is customized to meet each baby's temperament, developmental stage, and family's goals.

• Why do sleep coaches often start with nighttime sleep?

  Nighttime sleep usually provides the strongest opportunity for babies to learn independent sleep skills. Once nights become more predictable, naps often become easier to improve.

• Does sleep coaching only work for babies?

  I work with children 6 months to 6 years of age. It’s never too late to learn the skills of sleep!

The 2 to 1 Nap Transition: A Gentle Sleep Coach's Guide

The 2 to 1 nap transition is a significant milestone in your child's sleep journey. As a certified Gentle Sleep Coach and founder of Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, I've guided countless families through this change. This transition can be challenging, but with the right approach, it can be a smooth process for both you and your child. In this blog, I'll share expert tips and strategies to help you navigate the 2 to 1 nap transition with ease.

Understanding the 2 to 1 Nap Transition

The 2 to 1 nap transition typically occurs between 15-18 months, but every child is unique. Some signs that your child may be ready to drop from two naps to one include:

• Consistently fighting the afternoon nap: If your child resists the second nap or takes it very late, it might be time to transition.

• Difficulty falling asleep at bedtime: An extended afternoon nap can interfere with bedtime.

• Shortening morning nap: If the morning nap becomes shorter or skipped entirely, your child might be ready for just one nap.

Tips for a Smooth Transition

1. Adjust the Morning Nap Gradually: Start by pushing the morning nap later by 15-30 minutes every few days until it aligns with the desired single nap time, usually around midday.

2. Keep a Consistent Schedule: Consistency is key in sleep training. Stick to a routine to help your child adjust to the new nap schedule.

3. Create a Soothing Nap Environment: Ensure your child's nap space is conducive to sleep. Use blackout curtains, white noise, and maintain a comfortable temperature.

4. Watch for Sleep Cues: Pay attention to your child's sleep cues don't let them get “over tired” or they will fight the nap. Overtired signs are rubbing eyes, yawning, or becoming fussy. 

5. Offer a Quiet Time: During the transition, if your child skips the nap, offer a quiet time to rest. This can help prevent overtiredness, 45 minutes is ideal.

6. Be Patient and Flexible: The transition can take a few weeks. Be patient and allow some flexibility in the schedule as your child adjusts.

Common Challenges and Solutions

• Overtiredness: During the transition, your child may become overtired. To combat this, consider an earlier bedtime to compensate for the lost nap time. 

• Inconsistent Nap Length: Initially, the single nap might be shorter than expected. Encourage your child to extend the nap by keeping the environment calm and minimizing disturbances.

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Do you wonder how much sleep your child should be getting? When they should nap? Have you asked yourself “is this is normal”?

You will love my Ages and Stages Daily Sleep Requirements Freebie! This guide breaks it down in an easy-to-follow chart! These charts will show you sleep averages of how much daytime sleep and nighttime sleep children need.  They can help you create some kind of routine, avoid overstimulation and add some predictability to your life! As your child grows up, you can refer to these charts to see when you may need to drop a nap or change bedtime.

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When to Seek Help

If you find the transition particularly challenging or your child is struggling with sleep, it might be helpful to consult with a gentle sleep coach. At Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, we offer personalized support and strategies to help your child achieve healthy sleep patterns.

The 2 to 1 nap transition is a natural part of your child's development. With patience, consistency, and the right approach, you can help your child smoothly adjust to this new sleep schedule. Remember, every child is different, so it's important to follow your child's cues and make adjustments as needed.

For more expert tips on sleep coaching and transitioning your child's naps, visit Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching. Together, we can ensure your child gets the restful sleep they need for healthy growth and development.

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Need help with this transition? Let’s Do This.

If you’re thinking, “Okay, I kinda-sorta-maybe want to try this, but I still have questions,”—that’s what I’m here for.

Let’s start with an easy first step, schedule a Sleep Strategy Session so me, you and your partner can have an 1 hr long zoom session so I can properly assess the sleep situation and determine if you need one-on-one sleep coaching support. 

Let’s get your baby sleeping—and get YOU your sanity back.

Contact Me

If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.

Blissful Baby Beliefs

The Gentle Sleep Process

The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep

Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.

Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more! 

Exploring Nervous System Dynamics in Sleep Coaching with Chantal Donnelly

Did you know that children under age 9 look to the parents nervous system to determine if they should be in fight, flight or freeze state?

In the realm of parenting, including when it comes to sleep coaching, understanding the intricate dance between a parent's nervous system and their child's nervous system is crucial. I recently sat down with Chantal Donnelly, a physical therapist, author of Settled and founder of Body Insight, to delve into this vital topic.

The conversation revolves around the three crucial phases of sleep coaching and how a parent's regulation impacts their child's ability to self-soothe. Chantal gives us tips and tools on regulating yourself so you can best support yourself AND your child. 

Listening to the interview, Chantal will demonstrate many EASY and FAST tools to use to regulate your nervous system before interacting with your child. Below I overview a few key areas of family life when checking in with your body and nervous system can make the difference between a smooth family time and bedtime vs own of struggle and irritation. 

Transitioning Home and Preparing for Bedtime

As parents transition from work life to family life, it's essential to allow themselves moments of transition. Rushing home only signals stress to the nervous system. Simple rituals like the alternating touch technique, where one sweeps their arms from shoulder to fingertips, or the butterfly hug, can help calm the nervous system before diving into bedtime routines.

Bedtime Routine and Initial Sleep Coaching

During the bedtime routine, parents often find their minds wandering, thinking about to-do lists or upcoming tasks. Mindfulness techniques, such as focusing on sensory experiences like temperature or light in the room, can ground parents in the present moment. By staying regulated during this phase, parents set the stage for successful sleep coaching.

Active Sleep Coaching

When actively engaging in sleep coaching with a frustrated or upset baby, parents must maintain their regulation. Tools like the panoramic vision technique, where one softens their gaze and takes in the entire room, can help parents stay present and calm. Entrainment breathing, matching the baby's breathing rhythm before gradually slowing down, can also facilitate co-regulation and soothe the child.

Throughout the discussion, it becomes evident that a parent's state directly influences their child's ability to self-regulate. By prioritizing their own regulation, through simple techniques and mindfulness practices, parents can create a nurturing environment conducive to healthy sleep habits.

Chantal emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, acknowledging that parenting is inherently challenging and stressful. By incorporating these tools into their daily routines, parents not only enhance their ability to support their child's development, but also cultivate resilience and calmness within themselves.

So without further ado, let's dive into the interview and uncover the secrets to unlocking the power of co-regulation with Chantal Donnelly.

In today's fast-paced world, understanding the intricate interplay between a parent's nervous system and their child's is paramount. Through insightful conversations like this one, coupled with practical tools and techniques, parents can navigate the journey of sleep coaching with confidence and compassion. As Chantal's work continues to illuminate the path to self-regulation and calmness, parents everywhere can find solace in knowing that they have the power to foster a peaceful environment for themselves and their children.

More about Chantal

Chantal Donnelly is a physical therapist and author of the Amazon best-selling book Settled: How to Find Calm in a Stress-Inducing World. She is also the owner of Body Insight, a wellness company designed to help people reconnect with their bodies and improve their health.

She combines her anatomy and physiology knowledge and experience with nervous system science to help people with chronic pain, overwhelming stress, and stress-related illnesses. Through videos, workshops, and her book, Chantal teaches body-focused tools for calming the nervous system. She believes that stress fluency can make the world a better place.

• Website: https://www.bodyinsight.com/ 

• Facebook Link https://www.facebook.com/BodyInsightInc

• Instagram Link https://www.instagram.com/bodyinsightinc/

• Youtube Link https://www.youtube.com/user/BodyInsight

• LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/chantal-donnelly-0a69157/
  If you want to learn more about her book and some tools you can go to these 2 podcasts. 

• The Shameless Mom Academy 

• Empowered Relationships Podcast 

Better Sleep Starts With a Regulated Parent

One of the biggest misconceptions about sleep coaching is that it's only about changing a baby's behavior.

In reality, gentle sleep coaching often begins with us.

When parents understand their own nervous systems, they can respond with greater confidence, patience, and consistency. That calm presence helps children feel safe enough to develop healthy sleep skills over time.

Whether you're just beginning your sleep journey or working through a challenging phase, remember that your regulation matters—and you don't have to do it alone.

If you're looking for personalized, gentle guidance, I'd love to support your family.

Frequently Asked Questions

• What is co-regulation?

  Co-regulation is the process where children borrow the calm, regulated nervous system of a trusted adult. Before children develop strong self-regulation skills, they rely on parents to help them feel safe and settled.

• Can my stress affect my baby's sleep?

  Research suggests babies and young children are highly responsive to their caregivers' emotional state. While stress doesn't directly "cause" sleep problems, a calm and regulated parent can create a more supportive environment for sleep.

• What is nervous system regulation?

  Nervous system regulation refers to helping the body move out of a stress response and into a calmer, more balanced state through breathing, movement, mindfulness, or sensory awareness.

• Does gentle sleep coaching include co-regulation?

  Yes. Gentle sleep coaching emphasizes responsive support while teaching independent sleep skills. Helping parents stay regulated is often an important part of the process.

Are you struggling to get your child to sleep?

The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.

Contact Me

If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.

Blissful Baby Beliefs

The Gentle Sleep Process

The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep

Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.

Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more! 

• Video Transcript

  Hello, I am Joanna with Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching. And I'm here with Chantal Donnelly, a physical therapist and author of an incredible book that I am reading and devouring called Settled, how to Find Calm in a Stress-Inducing World. And she's also the founder of a wellness company called Body Insight. Thank you Chantal, so much for being here. Thanks for having me.

  Okay. So I have been reading Chantal's book and being part of her book club over the last four weeks. And I'm learning so much about what it means to self-regulate, and I think it's important for any human being to understand their nervous system, which I never understood to the level of detail that Chantal has helped me know and understand. And so I wanted to have Chantal come on today to talk about this really critical understanding of how a parent's nervous system and a baby's nervous system interact and how we can help the parent's nervous system remain calm,

  centered and balanced when they're in a sleep coaching mode with their child while they're trying to improve their child's sleep. So we have a lot to discuss today, so thank you Chantal. Yeah, yeah. Super important for the parent to stay as regulated and calm as possible. And before we started recording, you were telling me about how your first three sessions of sleep coaching are the most difficult,

  because that's when the baby is really frustrated with all the change that's starting to happen. I am gonna guess that even though the parent isn't conscious of it, their nervous system is also really frustrated. Even though they want their child to go to sleep, the nervous system likes the status quo. It doesn't like change. Ah, interesting. Okay. So it's gonna be the baby who doesn't like change as well as the parent.

  There's a little bit of that going on even though you're not aware of it. Okay. So tell us, so explain the interaction between a parent's nervous system and a baby's nervous system. So if you have a premature baby, first of all, their calming nervous system, their parasympathetic nervous system has not completely developed yet. That happens at the very end of the third trimester.

  So that's gonna, so if a baby is premature, they're gonna still be in that developmental phase. Okay. Okay. So that's number one. Yeah. That is important. Yeah. The, if you have a child who isn't premature who was born on schedule, then that child's nervous system is developed, but it's not formed its preferences yet. So it's,

  it's a, it's a newborn nervous system. Right? So like anything else, it's gonna take a little while for the baby to actually understand how to self-regulate. And what happens is children under the age of nine look to the parent's nervous system to decide if they're going to be in freeze, in fight or flight or in calm. And I mean, think about it.

  Have you ever seen a child be calmer than the parent? No, It doesn't happen. It can't generally, right. They can look like they're calmer, but that's usually because they're in freeze, they're in shutdown, or they're, you know, completely paralyzed by stress. That's when it looks like they're calmer than the parent. 'cause the parent might be running around like a chicken with their head cut off in,

  in fight or flight and the kid is just sort of frozen, but really they're in freeze. They are not calmer than, than the parent. It's just almost impossible for that to happen. Okay? Right. So in other words, it is for us as, as parents, especially parents of young children up until age nine, it is really important for us to understand where we are standing on the spectrum of self-regulation.

  And when, when a parent's doing something really new, like learning how to be a sleep coach to their child, they're coming into this experience sleep deprived, they're coming into this experience having probably already tried some attempts at sleep coaching and it's failed. So in the back of their mind, there's this big question mark, like, how can, how will this time be different?

  Or a big question mark of maybe my baby's gonna be the toughest baby on the planet to learn to sleep and everyone else has been lucky but me. And then they also know that they're gonna have to go do what they think is this really hard thing and they're not sure if they really have the stamina to, to, to, to be the sleep coach.

  So, you know, one of the things that happens when in those first three to four nights, which are the most important, is the, I feel like there's three stages that a parent might be in where they need to double check their regula, their own personal self-regulation. So stage one would be they've just come home from work, they're transitioning from work life to family life.

  Okay. So that might be like, okay, now I'm home, we're doing family dinner, I'm helping, you know, get the babies, you know, bathed and everything. So it's kinda like, okay, how to make that transition. Then the second phase would be, alright, now I'm the sleep coach and I am with this child doing a final feed and reading books before I put them in the crib.

  Am I regulated even in that what's supposed to be this relaxing, reliable bedtime routine? Am I even reg showing up regulated in that phase? And then the third phase would be, my child is now in the crib and I'm in active sleep coach mode, meaning I am there to support my child as they learn how to regulate, settle, and soothe themselves.

  But in those first three to four nights, the role of the coach is to be the regulator, the child, because of what Chantal just said, that that, that they have an underdeveloped nervous system and the parent is the one that is the co-regulation. So what Chantel's gonna do today is take us through each of those three phases and talk about tools and things to consider for yourself so that you're really ready to show up being your best self when you are helping your child learn these new skills.

  Yeah. There's definitely different things you can do at the, the three different stages. First thing I would wanna say is, coming into this, you wanna have as much self-compassion as you possibly can because being a parent, whether you were trying to get a child to sleep or just trying to parent on any regular day, is very difficult and very stressful.

  And we, you shouldn't expect yourself to always be calm through it, all of that. Like, there are gonna be times that you're gonna be stressed as a parent, right? A hundred percent. Right. And, and not to feel like that is some kind of fa a failure or a weakness because absolutely not. It's just a normal natural way that things work.

  So that's number one. And so when you're coming home from work or, or coming to that transition of coming into back into family and getting ready, you know, dinner time, bath time, whatever it is, getting ready to go into the sleeping phase, that second phase, the first thing I would say is that if you are rushing to do that,

  which we often are and don't have a choice, right? 'cause our time is limited and we've gotta leave work at a certain hour and blah, blah, blah. If you are rushing your nervous system, we'll think you are under stress. Yep. So allowing yourself to slow down a little bit, particularly the closer you get to home is helpful. And then having a little bit of a transition ritual.

  And it can be a 32nd ritual. It doesn't have to be a big ordeal, but just 30 seconds where maybe you're still in the car before you get out of the car to go into the house. And it's something that you can do to just let your body know that you are transitioning and that you're going into a, a more settled state right before you get with the family.

  And one of those tools, there is many different tools. There can be a breathing tool, there can be something, what we call cross body alternating touch tool. You can use your eyes as a tool, you can use mindfulness as a tool. There's a whole bunch of things. What I find that really works well for transitioning is the alternating touch tool.

  Yeah. Can you show us that one? Sure. There's lots of different tools there, but the one that I like to use is I just take my right hand and I place it on the top of my left shoulder, and then I just sweep my arm down towards my fingers and then I use the other side of the body left hand to right shoulder and sweep.

  Yeah. And you can keep your arms on your steering wheel or wherever by your side depending on where you are. Right. And you can just do this a couple of times, 30 seconds. That's it. Right? That's all you need to do. And, and that alternating touch has been shown to calm your amygdala. Your amygdala is where there's a fear center of your,

  your brain. And it has been shown to calm the fear centers of the brain. And so, you know, going into this situation where, oh my, I'm gonna have to get my child to sleep and I have to do this successfully. There's a little bit of fear there, right? And so this is just sort of calming everything down, sending a message from the body up to the brain that you are safe,

  that everything's okay, and to just sort of settle that nervous system when you do it, you should feel a slowing of your breath, perhaps a deepening of your breath. You're going to feel your heart rate come down a slow down a little bit. Maybe the tension in your shoulders from your workday is gonna release a little bit tension in your jaw. Maybe your stomach might feel a little bit looser,

  not so clenched. You might just feel a little more expansive, maybe a little warmer. Those are the signs that your nervous and Also sometimes saliva Increased salivation is, yeah, That's what happens to me. I take a deep breath and then I can feel an increase in saliva in my mouth. And then I know the tool's working. And what's amazing about these tools is that,

  like she says, they only take like 15 to 30 seconds. I mean, I, I've been doing several of these tools frequently and usually within the first 15 seconds I can feel my breath getting deeper and more saliva in my mouth. And then I am, I know I'm taking care of myself and I'm calming my nervous system down. It's pretty powerful.

  Yeah. So I love that idea of not rushing, having a little transition ritual. And maybe that transition ritual is something as simple as the side arm sweeps Yeah. Before you come back into the homestead with the family. Yeah. I love that. This is a little, little woo woo. But what I add to my little transition ritual after I do this is just sort of three little sweeps where I'm just sort of like washing the day away,

  kind of like blah. Right. Just get that day the workday off of you. Yeah. And it's just sort of a, again, it's just a symbolic ritual of, okay, I'm going from work to home now. Right? And this is even true if you're, you know, coming out of your home office, right? I mean, let's not be fooled that making the transition from home office back out into family life is,

  is not a transition. In fact, it can be almost a bigger transition than doing the car ride. 'cause at least in the car ride, you're like, you know, have time to think or listen to music or whatever. But sometimes just stepping out, you know, two feet into the, into the household can, can be a big change.

  That's a good point. Okay. Now let's talk about kind of like there you are, you're a parent. You're like, all right, I've made the successful transition. I've helped my baby get ready for bed. And now I'm the sleep coach and I'm in my first, you know, you know, one to four days of sleep coaching and I'm nervous,

  I'm scared. I hope this is gonna work. Hopefully I've got Joanna on my team as the sleep coach. But if you don't, you know, 'cause I would be coaching you on all of this to really get you really geared up. But if you're doing this on your own, then you would just be able to say, okay, so now I'm in the room with the baby.

  And the thing about babies, you guys, whether they are six months old or 10 years old, whenever there's a change of pattern, there will be frustration and confusion. And when children are frustrated and confused, they will protest. It is normal human response to change. But when we are parents and we are already sleep deprived and probably a bit frazzled when we hear our babies' protest,

  you know, we have that visceral response like, okay, I gotta go do something. Right? And the thing about gentle sleep coaching is there's lots you can do to settle your child, but it matters what state you're in before you go try to do that loving approach. Like picking up or the loving song or the loving pat. So this is what we're talking about.

  It's like we're talking about your state in direct relationship with your baby, because their nervous system below age nine is underdeveloped. And their nervous system depends on your nervous system. So we're in the room, we're in phase two, now we're in the room, baby's in the crib, baby's had the bottle or the F of or the bedtime feed. Baby's been read to baby's in the,

  in the crib at the right sleep window. So you know, you've done everything right and baby's frustrated because this is night two of coaching and baby still is waiting for mom to show up to breastfeed. And the dad starts freaking out and being like, oh my God, what can dad do? So if dad hasn't picked the baby up yet, then he can use tools with his hands to self-soothe.

  So another tool that is the alternating touch tool would be the butterfly hug. So he can, what you do is you take your hands, palms facing, you cross the hands and interlock the thumbs, and then you place your hands on your chest so that your fingers are just under your collarbones. And then you're gonna tap one side of the body and then the other side.

  So it's alternating touch, right? You can tap fast, you can tap slow, you can tap hard, you can tap light's totally up to you, but you just need to do this for about 30 seconds. So this is another alternating touch that's an option for a dad or a mom who's in that situation. Because as soon as you hear your,

  your child cry, particularly if it's a a, a more desperate cry, your nervous system is gonna signal danger, right? So you need to tell your body to tell your brain that there is no danger, right? And so things like butterfly hug, what another thing you can do breathing wise is a long exhalation. We know that when you inhale,

  your heart rate goes up a little bit and when you exhale, your heart rate goes down a little bit. So you can use that physiological phenomenon by lengthening the exhale. So you can inhale for three counts, for example, and then exhale for six counts. That's also gonna send a message up to the brain that you were not stressed. So good.

  And you know, what's fascinating about this is that no one taught us this. That I am, you know, because of you and your book and your work and being a, you know, resilience toolkit facilitator, which is all about building, building resilience in the body, is this idea that what's happening in the body is sending messages to the brain.

  So we think all the messages are coming from the brain, but they're actually coming from the body up to the brain. And so when we're feeling nervous or stressed or something, it's, it's all starting here, but we don't know that we think it's all happening up here. Right. Our thoughts can certainly augment it, that's for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

  So, you know, maybe this is, maybe all you guys know about this already, but I, I feel like I've been having kind of an awakening in reading her book and just understanding my, my mind body connection a little bit more deliberately. Yeah. And testing these things out, like as part of her book club, she's got homework for us.

  I was a little delin delinquent on my homework, but I'm gonna start doing it again. And because I know ultimately it's gonna help me, you know, that's why I wanted Chantal to come today to just help us all. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So that's where, there you are, we're in phase two. Like you're, you're, you're coaching you,

  you don't have the baby in arms, right? So you are realizing, so you can do more of this, More of the arm sweeps. Yep. Can do. But butterfly hug, you can do the long exhalation. Now if those are not working, another one you can try is doing a neck massage. It's specifically your sternocleidomastoid muscle. SCM muscle goes from behind the ear and goes down to your collarbone,

  right? Where your collarbone and your throat kind of meet up. So you don't have to worry that you're on the muscle specifically, but just raking from behind the ear down to the collarbone talks to the sternocleidomastoid. And that muscle is innervated by a cranial nerve that's very, very close to your vagus nerve. And your vagus nerve is your calming nervous system.

  So those two nerves interconnect and can help you to regulate, I think of this muscle as sort of being a portal to the calming nervous system. And so that's something that really works for people is just massaging right behind the ear and going down to the collarbone. Sometimes just staying behind the ear and just massaging back there can be really helpful for people. Yeah.

  And again, these are just gentle movements. These are not, you know, intense, you know, just, you don't have to press hard. I mean, I went, the first time I did butterfly, I was going, you know, like really fast. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, you can,

  you don't have to do it slow, but you don't need to like, you know, Don't beat yourself up For the moon. You know, so, you know, like that. Right? So there, that's okay. All right. So now we're in a situation where you have the baby in arms. Yep. And the baby's not calming down.

  And that's probably because you either overstimulated the baby or you're in power struggle with the baby or, and or it probably means you are still dysregulated. Yeah. I think if you, if there's a power struggle happening or the baby is feeling overstimulated, you're trying too hard and you're probably trying too hard because you are stressed, you're in fight flight, right?

  So you're fighting through this, you're pushing through a little aggressively. And again, this could be very unconscious. You could be doing this and not really knowing that you're pushing too much, but you're just trying so hard. Right. And you're a little stressed about it. And so that comes across to a very new nervous system as too much. Yeah.

  Right? I call it flooding. Mm. I try to explain flooding because parents seem to really resonate. Like, oh my gosh, you're right. When I went to go do that third pickup in a row, you know, me coming at the baby with my arms with my big nervous system on fire, I'm like literally flooding the baby with all of that energy and then the baby isn't calm even when I do the most loving thing,

  which is to pick them up. They are not downregulating with me. And it's not because you're doing it wrong, but because you guys are, you know, your nervous systems are clashing, right? So let's talk about what you do when you're, when you have a baby in arms. So of course you can use breathing techniques 'cause you don't need your hands for that.

  The other thing I really like to do is we tend to kind of look at the baby in a very sort of narrow focused, intense kind of way. And that visual mechanism is exactly what happens naturally to your eyes when you're in fight or flight, right? So if you do the opposite, which would be to open up your gaze and take in 180 degree view of what's happening in your face in the room.

  And you don't even have to move your eyeballs like that Joanna, you can just literally think about, imagine you're taking in a sunset. Like think about softening your eye. Oh yeah, I see. And just letting your whole visual perspective open up. I call it panoramic vision, Right? So you're just taking everything in and just that will kind of trigger your brain to go,

  oh, we're not in a stress state. It's when we're in that really intense focused state that things can kind of go awry because our brain can get a little confused by the information coming in from our eyes when it's that focused and narrow our vision. You know? And that's why I wouldn't recommend a parent prior to picking up the baby if they are trying to soothe themselves to look at their phone,

  right? Like scrolling on social media is not gonna help you downregulate. Not just because of the content on social media, because that's one of the reasons, right? But the other reason is that your eyes are going into focus mode and we don't want that. We want your eyes to stay soft and opened and to take in 180 degree view. Wow.

  Yeah. So that one's really powerful, right? Because I often say to families like, don't stare your baby straight in the eyes because they will actually get matter. But it kind of makes sense because if, if you are dysregulated and you're looking at your baby and they're looking at you like you guys kind of get locked into that. Whereas if you pick up your baby and you're maybe,

  you know, taking in kind of the panoramic view and then you're breathing 'cause you're trying to co-regulate, right? So three breaths in and then six counts out, you know, then you're now co-regulating with your child in arms and we all know what this looks like, right? So the analogy I always give is, you know, if your baby, if your child or baby falls on the ground and bumps their head,

  they're gonna be crying. You're absolutely gonna be picking them up. And usually when you pick them up, they're still crying in arms. And when they're in your arms calming down after bumping their head, they are co-regulating with you. They are crying in arms is fine. Like it is a, is a, a safe place to be to co-regulate. And as they calm they're still crying but they're getting,

  you know, less and less and less until they're at a whimper and then they recover. That is fine. That's kind of what we're looking like co-regulation. That's what we want to see. We wanna see this coming down both for the child and for the parent. And then when the child's calm you can put them back in the crib, right? Yeah.

  One thing you can do is what's called entrainment breathing, which can be kind of fun to play with with a child. Entrainment breathing is when you, if you are breathing is calm, but the person you're with, in this case the baby is not, you match their staccato irregular breath for just two, three seconds and then you start to slow your breath down.

  Oh Wow. And that kind of helps them so they're on the same rhythm with you 'cause you've matched the way that they're breathing and then you start to slow your breathing down to a calmer pace and then they can kind of follow suit. And that can be really effective in that situation where you're holding your child That I can see how that could work really beautifully.

  That's a very powerful tool. So as you can see everybody that you know there, there are these three zones you're going to inevitably be in when you're in sleep coaching mode. And each zone is an an opportunity for you to regulate yourself. And when you do that, you are literally helping your child's regulation system mature because you're showing them what like is is,

  could I say the word right? Regulation looks like what? What is that you're Co-regulating with them so they're able to sort of match your tune if you will. And yeah, you're helping them learn how to regulate by showing them what a regulated nervous system looks like. Calm is contagious, right? So they're gonna pick up on that. There's a little bit of mirroring that happens.

  So they're learning from from what you're doing, but it's also just that they don't know what to do and they're just gonna follow suit. They trust you, they're gonna follow suit with where you're at. If you feel safe and you show that through a regulated nervous system, then they will feel safe. If you are feeling, oh my gosh, this isn't working and I wanna get to my glass of wine and go to bed myself.

  And so you start to upregulate a little bit, it's gonna be really hard to get your child to downregulate or to soothe. Right? Right. I wanted to see too in that second zone, 'cause we didn't really touch on that Joanna the second zone when you're reading the book and it, right. Am I correct on that's the second zone. It's the reading and the prepping for bed and everything.

  You know, you might have your mind wander and you're thinking about your to-do list and you're thinking about, you know, is this gonna work? Or when do I get my downtime 'cause I'm really tired. Like all of that stuff that really happens naturally as parents. That's when mindfulness can really be helpful during that phase. Or you can focus on what you're hearing in the room or the,

  the temperature of the room or the light in the room and all those little things that you can focus on to bring you into the present moment and to keep you grounded that way. 'cause otherwise if, if you're thinking about all that stuff, then you're not gonna be settled as you go into the the third zone. Right. Right. That, thank you so much.

  I, I realize I skipped, I skipped a zone, but I'll on that note about you know, trying to detach yourself from like your to-do list. The other thing I often say is like, don't be thinking about the other caregiver outside the room. So for example, if dad is a sleep coach and mom's outside the room and you're afraid that you're gonna be judged Or she might be watching you on the monitor or she hears a cry,

  she's gonna think you're doing it wrong. Like all of that happens right now when I'm working with clients, I like really help build a united front so that there's agreements made between partners about how mom is not to interrupt. Mom is, you know, not gonna text him because dad really does need to be really emotionally present because he's there to pay exquisite attention to his child.

  Like that's really what's happening when you're really doing gentle sleep coaching. The parent is very emotionally present and is paying exquisite attention to their child and being very loving and very attentive. And in order to be that way, they have to be in the moment. And I always say to them, if you find yourself popping out, you know, thinking about that work project,

  thinking about maybe you know, someone watching you on the monitor in that moment you pop out guarantee that baby's gonna start crying more. Yeah. Guarantee your nervous system isn't settled too, right? Yeah. And the, and the parent, the dad will say, God, you were so right. I found myself getting a little distracted and was thinking about some work deadline and that baby w that was literally about to fall asleep,

  ramped up and was all like ding, you know? And I said, yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty remarkable what happens. Which is why, you know, I wanted Chantal to come today to talk to us more about how to stay properly regulated because ultimately it will make the sleep coaching process go way better and you will walk away with more tools that you can use outside of your sleep coaching environment.

  Like I said, I'm in Chantal's book club for settled and I'm learning all these tools that I can use throughout my day, what I can do before a meal, what I can do between client calls, you know, all of that to stay really balanced and centered and calm so that I can be the best coach I can be and also the best human I can be.

  You know, not to be upregulated all the time. So this has been so valuable, Chantal, thank you so much. Can you tell everybody more like how to find your book, how to find you, what, what other services are you offering these days if people wanna learn more about their nervous system? Sure. I have a company called Body Insight so if people go to body insight.com,

  they can find out how to contact me, they can find out about my upcoming workshops. There I am on Instagram and Facebook at Body Insight Inc. Okay. And you can get my book settled, how to Find Calm in a Stress Inducing World that's available pretty much online where, where books are sold and what else? Hoping to have some workshops coming up soon.

  I know I have an in-person one in Pasadena coming up in October. Okay, good. And she does, she does one-on-one coaching too. So if you want to say come to Chantal and be like, okay, these are all the things that are going on with me. Give me some customized tools and protocols that will help me. You do, you do one-on-one coaching in that way,

  which I think is really valuable because if you want to get right to the heart of things, if you don't have time to read the book or time to do the workshop, but you want direct help, Chantelle is available for one-on-one coaching as well. So I will make sure that in the show notes all of that contact information is available. But I,

  I do highly, in fact, can you hold up the book? Do you have the book read? I do. Mine's upstairs by my bedside, so there we go. That's the book. So I do recommend this and then, but her Instagram is awesome because she's constantly demo demonstrating tools on, so if you're more of a visual learner, the Instagram is a great place to go.

  So thank you so much Chantelle, for helping us to, to learn more about her nervous system. Yeah, thanks for having me. I hope it helped. Yes.

Fall Daylight Saving Time: How to Help Your Baby Adjust to the Time Change

The end of Daylight Saving Time can feel like a gift for adults—but for babies and toddlers, that one-hour shift can throw off sleep schedules, naps, meals, and early morning wake-ups.

If you're wondering how to help your baby adjust to the fall time change, you're not alone.

The good news? With a little planning, most children can transition smoothly.

Whether your baby is an early riser, taking multiple naps, or already sleeping independently, these gentle strategies can help your family adjust with less stress.

Why Does the Time Change Affect Children?

Children thrive on predictable rhythms.

Although the clock changes overnight, their internal body clock doesn't.

That means a child who normally wakes at 6:30 a.m. may suddenly start waking at 5:30 a.m.

Fortunately, exposure to morning light, consistent meal times, naps, and bedtime routines all help reset the body's circadian rhythm.

When Is Daylight Savings

Sunday, November 1, 2026

Understanding the Impact of Daylight Saving Time on Your Child

Daylight Saving Time affects everyone's internal body clock, including your child's. Young children are especially sensitive to changes in routine and sleep patterns, so it's essential to prepare for the upcoming shift. Here's how DST can impact your child's sleep:

1. Sleep Schedule Disruption: The time change can lead to temporary confusion for your child's internal clock, which may result in changes in their sleep schedule. This could manifest as early wake-ups or difficulty falling asleep at bedtime.

2. Circadian Rhythm Adjustment: Your child's circadian rhythm, the internal clock that regulates sleep and wake cycles, may take a few days to adjust to the new time. During this period, you might notice changes in their behavior, energy levels, and mood.

3. Naptime Challenges: Daylight Saving Time can also affect your child's daytime naps. If your child is used to napping at specific times, you may need to adjust their nap schedule to accommodate the time change.

Watch My Fall Time Change Tips Video

Tips for a Smooth Transition

Now that you understand the potential challenges, let's explore some gentle sleep coaching strategies to help your child adapt to the fall time change:

1. Gradual Adjustments: Begin making minor adjustments to your child's sleep schedule a few days before the time change. Shift bedtime and wake-up times FORWARD by 15 minutes every day until you've reached the new schedule.

For example, let's pretend your child's normal bedtime is 7:00pm. Shift their bedtime 15 minutes LATER each day. Here is what the change would look like over a 4 day period. It is important to shifts naps and meals by the same 15 minute increments.

• Wednesday 7:15pm

• Thursday 7:30 pm

• Friday 7:45 pm

• Saturday 8:00pm

• Sunday is FALL BACK DAY TO 7:00 pm (This will be the time after the time change)

2. Maintain a Consistent Routine: Stick to your child's usual bedtime routine to provide a sense of security and predictability. Consistency is key during transitions.

3. Optimize the Sleep Environment: Ensure that your child's sleep environment is conducive to rest. Dim the lights in the evening and keep the bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.

4. Natural Light Exposure: Encourage natural light exposure during the day, especially in the morning before 10AM. Daylight helps regulate your child's internal clock.

5. Darkness: Do not expose them to light or food before 6am to avoid cementing early rising behavior.  Click here to read my blog on early rising. 

5. Be Patient: Understand that it may take a few days or even a week for your child to fully adjust to the new schedule. Be patient and provide comfort as needed during this transition.

6. Know your child’s daily sleep requirements. Children go through many stages of development and with that their daytime sleep goals change and same with night time sleep goals. The Fall Time change is a good time to re-evaluate your child’s age and stage sleep goals.  Download the Free Guide: How Much Sleep Does My Child Need?

7. Offer Comfort and Reassurance: If your child has difficulty falling asleep or wakes up earlier than usual, offer comfort and reassurance. Gentle sleep coaching techniques can help them learn to self-soothe and adjust to the changes.

Daylight Saving Time can pose challenges for families, but with the right approach and a gentle touch, you can ensure a smooth transition for your child. If you'd like personalized guidance or have specific questions about helping your child adapt to the time change, don't hesitate to reach out to me. Here's to a restful and rejuvenating fall as we turn the clocks back and embrace the cozy season ahead.

I AM OFFERING FALL SLEEP TUNE UP SESSIONS IF THIS TIME CHANGE CAUSES HAVOC IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD

DO YOU WANT EXPERT SLEEP ADVICE FOR YOUR UNIQUE SITUATION? Please complete this intake form and I will be in touch within 24 hrs to send you the links to schedule ($150 for 30 min)

Frequently Asked Questions

• How long does it take a baby to adjust to Daylight Saving Time?

  Most babies adjust within three to seven days. Some adapt almost immediately, while others—especially sensitive sleepers—may need up to two weeks.

• Should I change my baby's bedtime before the clocks change?

  Many families find success shifting bedtime by 10–15 minutes each day during the week leading up to the time change. Others prefer making the adjustment all at once. The best approach depends on your child's temperament and sleep habits.

• Why is my baby waking up so early after Daylight Saving Time?

  Your baby's internal body clock hasn't adjusted to the new time yet. Morning light, consistent routines, and patience can help move wake-up time later over several days.

• Does Daylight Saving Time affect naps?

  Yes. Because naps are linked to your baby's circadian rhythm and sleep pressure, they may temporarily shift after the time change. Maintaining a consistent routine helps babies adjust more quickly.

• Will the fall time change ruin my baby's sleep?

  Not usually. While there may be a few days of adjustment, most babies settle into the new schedule with consistent routines and age-appropriate wake windows.

Are you struggling with your child's sleep?

The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.

Contact Me

If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.

Blissful Baby Beliefs

The Gentle Sleep Process

The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep

Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.

Wishing your family peaceful nights and joyful mornings in the midst of this seasonal change.

On Behalf Of the 12 Million Infants & Toddlers: I Am Listening and Learning!

zaur-ibrahimov-peace-dove-unsplash.jpg

I am hesitating even sending out this blog because of all the hurting going on in our nation. I am outraged. I am heartbroken. 

Did you know there are 12 million infants and toddlers in the United States?

Did you know the state where they are born and live during their first three years makes a big difference in their chance for a strong start in life?

Did you know that more than half (51%) of America’s babies are children of color?

The cutest and most innocent among us face big challenges. We must embrace the changing portrait of our nation’s babies and commit to end the racism that infects not only them, but us all. We can’t afford to squander the potential of a single child.

In that light, I am seeking out and listening very intently and carefully to voices of People of Color because the reality is we need to listen. After all, People of Color have been leading the fight for liberation for centuries. We need to follow their leadership and hear their voices to take the right next steps.

We all need restorative sleep to stay healthy and grounded. We need sleep so we can be patient and kind to one another during this incredibly emotional and challenging time in our nation. Because getting good sleep helps everyone sink into a more open and compassionate heart, I don't want to stop efforts to help tired parents.

Many parents are emailing me and are relying on the below information to help them solve their sleep struggles and they need the help RIGHT NOW.

So with deep compassion, I am following up on my promise to provide reliable information

In my Facebook Live from 5/28 I stayed for 1.5 hrs to answer every last question from all the exhausted parents that needed the right next steps to get some quality sleep. I have always promised to post the video so you can go back and listen and earn.

I will always send out the recording of the Facebook LIVE so here is the recording from 5/28/20. Some of the important topics I covered were.

• How to handle regressions.

• When do I know if I need to sleep train my child.

• How can I help my child sleep later in the morning.

Some of the resources I shared were:

Sleep Matters: Get your Ages and Stages Day & Night Sleep Guidelines

https://www.blissfulbabysleepcoaching.com/sleep-chart

Get Motivated for a Robust Training: Do’s & Dont’s: Understanding Everything About Sleep with your 6-15 month old.

https://www.blissfulbabysleepcoaching.com/sleep-in-2020

If you are in the mood to join me, I am going to do another session of GET YOUR LIFE BACK...IT STARTS WITH SLEEP on Thursday June 11 at 2pm PST.

Please don't hesitate to ask me about ANYTHING that has you confused about your child's sleep! Please submit this form Now so I can prepare a detailed answer for you.

Most importantly, please all lets take time to really open and hear the voices that matter right now.

In peace, justice, love and solidarity,

Joanna Clark of Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDELx41-nmQ&w=560&h=315

Empathy & Co-Regulation: The Key to Less Tears When Sleep Coaching

Did you know that empathy and the concept of “co-regulation” is critically important to understand during your sleep coaching process?

In fact, one of the best ways to minimize crying during the sleep coaching process is to fully understand the how to effectively drop into empathy and co-regulate with your child.

Also, it is imperative that the parent understands their own stress responses so the parent can stay properly “regulated” during the time they are offering emotional and physical support during the sleep coaching learning process. If you have not done so, you might also want to watch the interview on all the tips and tricks to manage your own stress responses. Mystery Solved: Understanding Your Stress Responses. After all, we all want to be less reactive, less shut-down and enhance our meaningful connection to others.

Below is the engaging interview where we dive deep into these important topics with Chantal Donnelly of Body Insight. Chantal has a unique combination of expertise. She is a stress management and nervous system expert, as well as a physical therapist and a certified Resilience Toolkit Facilitator. In other words, Chantal deeply understands the science behind the mind-body connection. Watch our interview below to learn more!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBlE39BZpNg?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

In this interview, Chantal also mentions Brene Brown’s work on Empathy and I wanted you to also have this video to reference. This will not only be helpful in your parenting journey, but it most certainly will enhance your marriage!!

Brene Brown Empathy video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

If you loved what Chantal had to say, please know that Chantal is hosting a
COMPLIMENTARY NERVOUS SYSTEM RESET WORKSHOP.

Saturday May 30th at 11 am (PST) / 2PM EST.  

Here is what you can expect to learn on the May 30th Workshop.

1.   Chantal will discuss why some people are noticing that the stress of the pandemic is flaring up some old, familiar physical pain in their bodies.  Hint: Stress and pain are intimately interrelated. 

2.   Chantal will talk about the myth of “self-care” and how to know if your self-care is helping you or harming you.  

3.   Chantal will review the 6 cranial nerves that activate your calming nervous system. We are going to learn some new tools that directly target those nerves. 

If you would like to attend, please email Chantal and I will send you the Zoom link!

Chantal@bodyinsight.com

Chantal Donnelly, MPT, Certified Resilience Toolkit Facilitator
Body Insight Inc.
chantal@bodyinsight.com
https://www.bodyinsight.com

213.215.6778 

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Sleep Tips to Tackle The Fall Time Change On November 3, 2019

Sleep Tips to Tackle the Fall 2019 Time Change.

Sleep Tips to Tackle the Fall 2019 Time Change.

Every time there is a seasonal time change, parents call me with great trepidation about how this time change will affect their child’s sleep patterns. This fear really hits the parents that have finally succeeded in getting their child sleeping through the night or the parents that have finally “found harmony” in the household routine after the hustle of  “back to school/daycare” transitions. Right when you think you have it all figured out, the seasonal fall time change looms as a possible sleep disrupter. No worries, I am going to help you manage the change to minimize stress and confusion!

Click for a short video to learn about the time change sleep strategies

I recommend reading the whole blog to get the “full picture” on the steps you will want to take to maximize blissful sleep.

So here are some facts to consider:

• Daylight Savings in the US is on Sunday November 3rd 2019.

• You will “fall back” by setting your clocks back by one hour.

• This fall time change is often EASIER than the spring time change. You will enjoy a “bonus hour” of overall sleep and a “bonus hour” of light in the morning. Thus, waking up in the morning will definitely be easier. 

• In the evening, it will be darker one hour earlier. You may find that both you and the kiddos will likely become drowsy earlier.

• Seasonal time change is all about working with the biological rhythms which are primarily driven by natural light and the onset of darkness and adapting the schedule and routine of your day (i.e.: wake times, meal times, nap times, etc.)

• Please know it can take up to 2 weeks for a child to make the transition to the new time change, so be patient and mindful of your child’s needs.

There are two strategies to consider in tackling the fall time change for children 6 months-6 years of age.

Proactive Approach: Make changes to your routine 3-7 days prior to the time change.

• This strategy of incremental change is best for children that tend to be early risers (waking before 6am) or children that tend to be sensitive to schedule changes.

How To Make Incremental Changes:

• Start putting your child to bed 10-15 minutes later than his or her normal naptime or bedtime and of course, make similar changes to the nap schedule and meal schedule.

• Every other day/night, try to “bump up” naptime/bedtime by 10-15 minutes. Do this until the night of the time change.

• The goal is to complete shifting your child’s bedtime schedule up by an hour by the time the clock changes. For example: your child’s normal nap time is 8:45am, bump it to 9am and do this for 2 days and then, bump to 9:15am for 2 days and so on. If you would rather “work” the bedtime angle than if bedtime is normally 7pm. During the days leading up to the time change, push bedtime to 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8pm…then when the time change happens, the 8pm bedtime will “FALL BACK” to 7pm and your child will already be in the mode for the new bedtime.

• If you try this method and your child starts waking before 6am, then STOP and go back to your old schedule. You will need to adjust to new time change in the “Just in time” method.

The “Just In Time” Strategy: Move all your meals, nap times and bedtimes to the new time on November 3rd, 2019.

• This strategy is best for those that don’t have the time or inclination to plan ahead.

• This might also mean your child may wake earlier in the morning for the first week or so, but soon things will normalize.

How to do the “Just in Time” option: Sync with new clock times on November 3, 2019.

• If your child starts to wake before 6am, (which is considered early rising) than it is imperative that you attend to this early rising or else it will persist. I highly recommend reading my post on early rising.

• If you experience early rising, go to your child’s room, remind him or her it is still time for sleeping and try to soothe him or her back to sleep. (can use a tot clock for children 2.5 yrs of age and older)

• If the child does not go back to sleep, then use this strategy to make it “morning:” keep the room dark until 6am, then exit the room for 10-20 seconds, then re-enter the room and turn on the lights and open shades and then get your child out of bed.

• In this way, you will not be reinforcing early rising and eventually your child’s circadian rhythm will get back on track. If you have ongoing issues with early rising after 10-14 days after the time change than it may be time for a sleep-tune up call.

• In either case, it is important for children to get their daily dose of Vitamin D with morning light exposure. Turn on the lights, open your shades and, most importantly, try to give your child morning sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes a day during that first 7-10 days of the time change. This will help to reset your child’s circadian rhythm.

It’s also important to protect your sleep! Here are my time change tips for adults:

• Since you are gaining an hour of sleep, it is often easier just to go to sleep at your normal time on Saturday night and then allow yourself to sleep in on Sunday morning. Then for the first couple of days, please know that your body will be busy regulating to the new time change, so light exposure in the morning will really help your body adjust.

• Like jet lag, time changes take about a week to resolve and so it is wise to be patient and try to adhere to a flexible schedule and you will begin to see it all normalize. Happy Fall!!

If after the time change you are still having challenging sleep struggles, then don't hesitate to schedule a Sleep Tune-Up Session.

THERE IS NO NEED TO LIVE LIFE IN A SLEEP-DEPRIVED HAZE!

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I look forward to helping you restore easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and harmonious, confident parenting!

As  pediatric sleep expert and a trained and certified Gentle Sleep Coach. I offer an alternative to the “cry it out” methodology. I am on a mission to help parents tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to their children through a guilt-free, gentle approach and a full-service, proven system to promote a gentle, reassuring, gradual change that results in drama-free bedtimes, peaceful nights, reliable naps, and marital harmony. Want to find out more? Click to know about my methodology . Click to find out how I can help you and your family members achieve Blissful Sleep.

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Helpful Tips to To Manage The Fall Time Change 2018 for babies, toddlers and children

The Fall 2018 time change is on November 4, 2018. If you have a baby, toddler or child, you will want to watch this video for some tips and tricks to be prepared for the time change.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl_oZ-v9Pag&w=560&h=315]

Get ready! The end of daylight-saving time will fall on Sunday. Nov. 4, 2018 in the United States and Canada. We will “fall back” by setting our clocks back an hour.

The good news is that you will get a “bonus hour” of overall sleep and a “bonus hour” of light in the morning, so waking up will definitely be easier.  In the evening, it will be darker one hour earlier, so often the day feels really short. You will find yourself wanting to “get cozy” and you and the kids will likely get drowsy earlier—and therefore bedtime will hopefully be easier.

To get ready, see my video above to learn strategies for the fall time change for children 6 months-5 yrs of age. Please know it can take up to 2 weeks for a child to make the transition to the new time change, so be patient and mindful of your child’s sleepy cues.

Be proactive and begin making changes to your routine 3-7 days prior to the time change for children 6mo.-6yrs

Making incremental changes prior to November 4th is best for children that tend to be early risers or children that tend to be sensitive to schedule changes. These children usually benefit from gradually changing their schedule on the days leading up to the time change. 

How Make Incremental changes:

• Start putting your child to bed 10-15 minutes later than his or her normal naptime or bedtime and of course, make similar changes to the nap schedule and meal schedule. 

• Every other day/night, try to “bump up” naptime/bedtime by 10-15 minutes. Do this until the night of the time change.

• The goal is to complete shifting your child’s bedtime schedule up by an hour by the time the clock changes.  For example: your child’s normal nap time is 8:45am, bump it to 9am and do this for 2 days and then, bump to 9:15am for 2 days and so on. If you would rather “work” the bedtime angle than if bedtime is normally 7pm. During the days leading up to the time change, push bedtime to 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8pm…then when the time change happens, the 8pm bedtime will “FALL BACK” to 7pm and your child will already be in the mode for the new bedtime.

• If you try this method and your child starts waking before 6am, then STOP and go back to your old schedule. You will need to adjust to new time change in the “Just in time” method.

If you don’t have the time or inclination to plan ahead, then you can simply respond to your child’s needs once the time change has happened on November 4, 2018.

This means that all naps, meals and bedtime will automatically switch to the new time. This might also mean your child may wake earlier in the morning for the first week or so, but soon things will normalize.

Use the “Just in Time” option: Sync with new clock times on November 4, 2018.

• If your child starts to wake before 6am, (which is considered early rising) than it is imperative that you attend to this early rising or else it will persist.

• If you experience early rising, go to your child’s room, remind him or her it is still time for sleeping and try to soothe him or her back to sleep. (can use a tot clock for children 2.5 yrs of age and older)

• If the child does not go back to sleep, then use this strategy to make it “morning:” keep the room dark until 6am, then exit the room for 10-20 seconds, then re-enter the room and turn on the lights and open shades and then get your child out of bed. 

• In this way, you will not be reinforcing early rising and eventually your child’s circadian rhythm will get back on track. If you have ongoing issues with early rising after 10-14 days after the time change, then I highly recommend reading my post on early rising.

• In either case, it is important for children to get their daily dose of Vitamin D with morning light exposure. Turn on the lights, open your shades and, most importantly, try to give your child morning sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes a day during that first 7-10 days of the time change. This will help to reset your child’s circadian rhythm.

It’s also important to protect your sleep! Here are my time change tips for adults:

• Since you are gaining an hour of sleep, it is often easier just to go to sleep at your normal time on Saturday night and then allow yourself to sleep in on Sunday morning. Then for the first couple of days, please know that your body will be busy regulating to the new time change, so light exposure in the morning will really help your body adjust.

• Like jet lag, time changes take about a week to resolve and so it is wise to be patient and try to adhere to a flexible schedule and you will begin to see it all normalize. Happy Fall!!

  Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

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