Tips For Fall Time Change 2020: How to "Fall Back" with Ease!

Well, it looks like 2020 is bringing us a “triple whammy”… this weekend there is Halloween, a blue-full moon and the “Fall-Back” time change is on Sunday November 1 at 2 a.m.

Every time there is a seasonal time change, parents call me with great trepidation about how this time change will affect their child’s sleep patterns. It is true, the seasonal fall time change looms as a possible sleep disrupter.

No worries, I am going to help you manage the change to minimize stress and confusion!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S1GX-B2ieE?rel=0&w=560&h=305

I recommend reading the whole blog to get the “full picture” on the steps you will want to take to maximize blissful sleep.

So here are some facts to consider:

• Daylight Savings in the US is on Sunday November 1st 2020 at 2 a.m.

• You will “fall back” by setting your clocks back by one hour.

• This fall time change is often EASIER than the spring time change. You will enjoy a “bonus hour” of overall sleep and a “bonus hour” of light in the morning. Thus, waking up in the morning will definitely be easier. 

• In the evening, it will be darker one hour earlier. You may find that both you and the kiddos will likely become drowsy earlier.

• This time change can trigger “early rising” between 4-6 am, so be prepared to handle this event when it occurs.

• Seasonal time change is all about working with the biological rhythms which are primarily driven by natural light and the onset of darkness and adapting the schedule and routine of your day (i.e.: wake times, meal times, nap times, etc.)

• Please know it can take up to 2 weeks for a child to make the transition to the new time change, so be patient and mindful of your child’s needs.

There are two strategies to consider in tackling the fall time change for children 6 months-6 years of age.

Proactive Approach: Make changes to your routine 3-7 days prior to the time change.

• This strategy of incremental change is best for children that tend to be early risers (waking before 6am) or children that tend to be sensitive to schedule changes.

How To Make Incremental Changes:

• Start putting your child to bed 10-15 minutes later than his or her normal naptime or bedtime and of course, make similar changes to the nap schedule and meal schedule.

• Every other day/night, try to “bump up” meal time, naptime and bedtime by 10-15 minutes. Do this until the night of the time change.

• The goal is to complete shifting your child’s bedtime schedule up by an hour by the time the clock changes.

• For example: your child’s normal nap time is 8:45am, bump it to 9am and each day keep “bumping it forward” till you hit an hour.

• If you would rather “work” the bedtime angle than if bedtime is normally 7pm. During the days leading up to the time change, push bedtime to 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8pm…then when the time change happens, the 8pm bedtime will “FALL BACK” to 7pm and your child will already be in the mode for the new bedtime.

• If you try this method and your child starts waking before 6am, then STOP and go back to your old schedule. You will need to adjust to new time change in the “Just in time” method.

The “Just In Time” Strategy: Move all your meals, nap times and bedtimes to the new time on November 1st, 2020.

• This strategy is best for those that don’t have the time or inclination to plan ahead.

• This might also mean your child may wake earlier in the morning for the first week or so, but soon things will normalize.

How to do the “Just in Time” option: Sync with new clock times on November 1, 2020.

• If your child starts to wake before 6am, (which is considered early rising) than it is imperative that you attend to this early rising or else it will persist. I highly recommend reading my post on early rising.

• If you experience early rising, go to your child’s room, remind him or her it is still time for sleeping and try to soothe him or her back to sleep. (can use a tot clock for children 2.5 yrs of age and older)

• If the child does not go back to sleep, then use this strategy to make it “morning:” keep the room dark until 6am, then exit the room for 10-20 seconds, then re-enter the room and turn on the lights and open shades and then get your child out of bed.

• In this way, you will not be reinforcing early rising and eventually your child’s circadian rhythm will get back on track. If you have ongoing issues with early rising after 10-14 days after the time change than it may be time for a sleep-tune up call.

• In either case, it is important for children to get their daily dose of Vitamin D with morning light exposure. Turn on the lights, open your shades and, most importantly, try to give your child morning sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes a day during that first 7-10 days of the time change. This will help to reset your child’s circadian rhythm. You can also purchase a “happy light” that will offer some light therapy for you or your child.

It’s also important to protect your sleep! Here are my time change tips for adults:

• Since you are gaining an hour of sleep, it is often easier just to go to sleep at your normal time on Saturday night and then allow yourself to sleep in on Sunday morning. Then for the first couple of days, please know that your body will be busy regulating to the new time change, so light exposure in the morning will really help your body adjust.

• Like jet lag, time changes take about a week to resolve and so it is wise to be patient and try to adhere to a flexible schedule and you will begin to see it all normalize. Happy Fall!!

If after the time change you are still having challenging sleep struggles, then don't hesitate to schedule a Sleep Tune-Up Session.

THERE IS NO NEED TO LIVE LIFE IN A SLEEP-DEPRIVED HAZE!

In this 30 minute. recorded, Zoom Video Conference Sleep Tune-Up Call, you will benefit from me, a 10 year Sleep Expert, becoming your personal "sleep detective" so you recover peaceful nights and joyful days. 

You will complete a Sleep Tune-Up Form in Advance of our session so I come to the conversation prepared to help you solve the sleep struggles once and for all so everyone sleeps again. The fee is $80 for 30 minutes with your own personal Sleep Detective on Zoom Video Conference.

30-minute Sleep Tune-Up Session

I look forward to helping you restore easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and harmonious, confident parenting!

As  pediatric sleep expert and a trained and certified Gentle Sleep Coach. I offer an alternative to the “cry it out” methodology. I am on a mission to help parents tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to their children through a guilt-free, gentle approach and a full-service, proven system to promote a gentle, reassuring, gradual change that results in drama-free bedtimes, peaceful nights, reliable naps, and marital harmony. Want to find out more? Click to know about my methodology. Click to find out how I can help you and your family members achieve Blissful Sleep.

Do you want to stay up-to-date on all the incredible information and interviews I have to share?

If so, please join my Facebook and Instagram tribes. I go on Facebook LIVE each Wednesday at 3pm PST and you can always ask me your sleep questions in advance and I will do some "hot seat" coaching to help you get sleep back on track. https://bit.ly/3dMGL7v

Sleep Tips to Tackle The Fall Time Change On November 3, 2019

Sleep Tips to Tackle the Fall 2019 Time Change.

Sleep Tips to Tackle the Fall 2019 Time Change.

Every time there is a seasonal time change, parents call me with great trepidation about how this time change will affect their child’s sleep patterns. This fear really hits the parents that have finally succeeded in getting their child sleeping through the night or the parents that have finally “found harmony” in the household routine after the hustle of  “back to school/daycare” transitions. Right when you think you have it all figured out, the seasonal fall time change looms as a possible sleep disrupter. No worries, I am going to help you manage the change to minimize stress and confusion!

Click for a short video to learn about the time change sleep strategies

I recommend reading the whole blog to get the “full picture” on the steps you will want to take to maximize blissful sleep.

So here are some facts to consider:

• Daylight Savings in the US is on Sunday November 3rd 2019.

• You will “fall back” by setting your clocks back by one hour.

• This fall time change is often EASIER than the spring time change. You will enjoy a “bonus hour” of overall sleep and a “bonus hour” of light in the morning. Thus, waking up in the morning will definitely be easier. 

• In the evening, it will be darker one hour earlier. You may find that both you and the kiddos will likely become drowsy earlier.

• Seasonal time change is all about working with the biological rhythms which are primarily driven by natural light and the onset of darkness and adapting the schedule and routine of your day (i.e.: wake times, meal times, nap times, etc.)

• Please know it can take up to 2 weeks for a child to make the transition to the new time change, so be patient and mindful of your child’s needs.

There are two strategies to consider in tackling the fall time change for children 6 months-6 years of age.

Proactive Approach: Make changes to your routine 3-7 days prior to the time change.

• This strategy of incremental change is best for children that tend to be early risers (waking before 6am) or children that tend to be sensitive to schedule changes.

How To Make Incremental Changes:

• Start putting your child to bed 10-15 minutes later than his or her normal naptime or bedtime and of course, make similar changes to the nap schedule and meal schedule.

• Every other day/night, try to “bump up” naptime/bedtime by 10-15 minutes. Do this until the night of the time change.

• The goal is to complete shifting your child’s bedtime schedule up by an hour by the time the clock changes. For example: your child’s normal nap time is 8:45am, bump it to 9am and do this for 2 days and then, bump to 9:15am for 2 days and so on. If you would rather “work” the bedtime angle than if bedtime is normally 7pm. During the days leading up to the time change, push bedtime to 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8pm…then when the time change happens, the 8pm bedtime will “FALL BACK” to 7pm and your child will already be in the mode for the new bedtime.

• If you try this method and your child starts waking before 6am, then STOP and go back to your old schedule. You will need to adjust to new time change in the “Just in time” method.

The “Just In Time” Strategy: Move all your meals, nap times and bedtimes to the new time on November 3rd, 2019.

• This strategy is best for those that don’t have the time or inclination to plan ahead.

• This might also mean your child may wake earlier in the morning for the first week or so, but soon things will normalize.

How to do the “Just in Time” option: Sync with new clock times on November 3, 2019.

• If your child starts to wake before 6am, (which is considered early rising) than it is imperative that you attend to this early rising or else it will persist. I highly recommend reading my post on early rising.

• If you experience early rising, go to your child’s room, remind him or her it is still time for sleeping and try to soothe him or her back to sleep. (can use a tot clock for children 2.5 yrs of age and older)

• If the child does not go back to sleep, then use this strategy to make it “morning:” keep the room dark until 6am, then exit the room for 10-20 seconds, then re-enter the room and turn on the lights and open shades and then get your child out of bed.

• In this way, you will not be reinforcing early rising and eventually your child’s circadian rhythm will get back on track. If you have ongoing issues with early rising after 10-14 days after the time change than it may be time for a sleep-tune up call.

• In either case, it is important for children to get their daily dose of Vitamin D with morning light exposure. Turn on the lights, open your shades and, most importantly, try to give your child morning sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes a day during that first 7-10 days of the time change. This will help to reset your child’s circadian rhythm.

It’s also important to protect your sleep! Here are my time change tips for adults:

• Since you are gaining an hour of sleep, it is often easier just to go to sleep at your normal time on Saturday night and then allow yourself to sleep in on Sunday morning. Then for the first couple of days, please know that your body will be busy regulating to the new time change, so light exposure in the morning will really help your body adjust.

• Like jet lag, time changes take about a week to resolve and so it is wise to be patient and try to adhere to a flexible schedule and you will begin to see it all normalize. Happy Fall!!

If after the time change you are still having challenging sleep struggles, then don't hesitate to schedule a Sleep Tune-Up Session.

THERE IS NO NEED TO LIVE LIFE IN A SLEEP-DEPRIVED HAZE!

SCHEDULE YOUR SLEEP TUNE-UP SESSION HERE

I look forward to helping you restore easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and harmonious, confident parenting!

As  pediatric sleep expert and a trained and certified Gentle Sleep Coach. I offer an alternative to the “cry it out” methodology. I am on a mission to help parents tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to their children through a guilt-free, gentle approach and a full-service, proven system to promote a gentle, reassuring, gradual change that results in drama-free bedtimes, peaceful nights, reliable naps, and marital harmony. Want to find out more? Click to know about my methodology . Click to find out how I can help you and your family members achieve Blissful Sleep.

Do you want to stay up-to-date on all the incredible information and interviews I have to share?

If so, please join my Facebook and Instagram tribes.

A Sleep Deprived Mother’s Tale: Breaking the Baby Sleep Stigma

I am on a mission to ensure that no parent endures the pain of exhaustion, overwhelm, and relentless questioning of their value and self-worth when they have a child that consistently does sleep well.

I help parents tenderly and gently teach their children the “skills of sleep” so that their child has lifelong sleep habits, which results in a family system where ALL family members enjoy a full and well-rested life.

Below is an important and inspiring recounting of sleep deprived mother’s journey from overwhelm and self-doubt to feeling confident and balanced.

She is now living a well-rested life and reconnecting to her family vision.

With proper sleep, families can enjoy the keys to life: health, harmony, and vitality.

A Sleep Deprived Mother’s Tale: Breaking the Baby Sleep Stigma

A True Story By Kathleen Poorman

Her daughter was 19 months at time of Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

You’re texting one of your mommy friends and she suddenly asks “How’s your 6 month old doing with sleep?  Is she sleeping through the night yet?”  Your mind flashes back to the hour you spent walking and bouncing her last night, just like every night, pleading with her to please just go to sleep.  You remember how heavy her body gets after 5 minutes in.  You think about the list of things waiting for you when she’s finally asleep: the laundry, the dishes you haven’t done in days, the shower you never got this morning.  Forget the things you want to do.  This is sleep deprived survival mode.  

Your fingers hover over the phone, your mind racing to come up with something positive to say.  You don’t want to look bad. You can’t admit you truly don’t know what to do to help your child sleep better. You’re her mom, your mother’s intuition should be on this by now, right?  So you text back “She’s doing pretty well.  Still learning how to fall asleep but I’m sure she’ll figure it out soon!” 

There.  That should keep her from asking again for a couple weeks.  You hit send and let the mommy guilt wash over you like the hot shower you never got. 

This is the full weight of the baby sleep stigma we hold over ourselves invisibly.  We feel trapped by what others will think of us if they knew the full truth.  But what if we told each other the truth, and put the stigma to rest for good?  What if by doing this, we could spread the knowledge of how to help each other, and we ALL SLEPT?  

Let me be the first to rip the cover off the baby sleep stigma.  Let me tell you my story.

Our child was never what we would call a good sleeper, and I was a sleep deprived mother.  Not knowing what to do, I Googled ways to DIY our own solution, but came away more confused than ever.  We stumbled our way into a mess of “sleep crutches”, or things that a child requires you to do for them before they can fall asleep.  We kept adding new ones over time, thinking they’d be the final fix to help her sleep through the night. 

At 16 months of age, she had a whopping 7 sleep crutches.  She’d become the proud owner of our guest mattress (on the floor of her room) because she wouldn’t fall asleep without me beside her, and was too heavy to move into a crib once asleep.  She’d ninja kick, roll around, and pull escape acts repeatedly.  It wasn’t uncommon for this routine to take over an hour before I could try to sneak out of her room.  Bonus points if she didn’t wake up!  Four hours later, she’d be up again, crying for me.  When my husband tried to help her, she’d scream for me until she threw up.  I’d spend the rest of my night on her mattress in impossibly uncomfortable positions.  It was infuriating chaos.

After several months of getting little to no sleep this way, I finally lost it.  I hadn’t had a solid 8 hours of sleep since before the “squished bladder” stage of pregnancy.  I told my husband something had to change or I was sleeping somewhere else.  Taking the first real step towards sanity, I did what seemed unthinkable.  I asked for help. 

I called a professional sleep coach named Joanna Clark (owner of Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching) who taught my husband and I what we didn’t know about sleep.  She listened to our story, taught us the science behind our daughter’s sleep needs, and created a plan with us that we carried out with her continual guidance.  We did weeks of pre-work to set the stage and then devoted time each day to sleep training.  We were consistent and made it the main priority for that month.  It took lots of hard work, but almost anything worth having does. 

We were stunned when our sleepless child became a “good sleeper” in a matter of days.  To compare, her bedtime now includes reading 2 books, laying her in her crib, saying goodnight, and closing her door behind us.  Either my husband or I can do this routine.  She falls asleep on her own quietly and sleeps a solid 11-12 hours each night.  It is a true night and day difference.

We had been missing two things: A solid education on a baby’s sleep, and the guts to ask for help.

It was really hard calling Joanna and admitting that I didn’t know what to do with my own child.  I was afraid of being judged by others for needing help.  I also wondered “How could a complete stranger know my child’s needs better than my intuition?”

It took asking for help to realize that sometimes, asking for help is what your mother’s intuition is telling you to do.  It’s starved for knowledge until you give it something to run on. 

Once I finally slept and regained brain cells I’d done without for 2 years, I realized I was mad.  Why didn’t I know to do this sooner?   Where was this information in the pregnancy books or in my midwives’ handouts?  And even worse, why did I feel like the only one struggling in the first place?

We got brave and decided that it was time to share our whole story with everyone who’d listen.  The more we shared, the more we realized how many people are struggling with the same problems.  We heard repeatedly “Our grandson doesn’t sleep through the night and he’s 5!”  Or “They spend hours trying to get their kids to sleep!”  Oddly enough, the truth came mostly from grandparents or relatives, hardly ever from the parents themselves.  And no one knew what to offer them for help.

Maybe, just maybe, we don’t know what to do because we don’t talk about it. 

Imagine how my story could have changed if I had said to my friend via text “You know, she’s not sleeping well at all.  I just don’t know what to do to help her.”  What if she had been in the same boat before, and had asked for help and gotten it, and now knew to pass it on to me?  What would it be like if we truly believed it was ok to not know it all on our own? 

I’d love for every sleep deprived parent to find out.

And so, I am prying away the talons of baby sleep stigma by sharing my story with you.  I am shouting it from the rooftops that IT IS OK TO NOT KNOW!  I am unapologetically saying that I, a mother, needed baby sleep help and asked for it.  And I’m begging you, if this is you as well, to step out from the shadows of self-shame, ask for help, and pass along the torch.  It’s up to us to offer honesty and gain so much in return. 

We may all sleep better for it. 

Kathleen Poorman, Jasper, GA. Her Daughter was 19 months at time of sleep coaching.  

Do you want to stay up-to-date on all the incredible information and interviews I have to share?

If so, please join my Facebook and Instagram tribes.

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Helpful Tips to To Manage The Fall Time Change 2018 for babies, toddlers and children

The Fall 2018 time change is on November 4, 2018. If you have a baby, toddler or child, you will want to watch this video for some tips and tricks to be prepared for the time change.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl_oZ-v9Pag&w=560&h=315]

Get ready! The end of daylight-saving time will fall on Sunday. Nov. 4, 2018 in the United States and Canada. We will “fall back” by setting our clocks back an hour.

The good news is that you will get a “bonus hour” of overall sleep and a “bonus hour” of light in the morning, so waking up will definitely be easier.  In the evening, it will be darker one hour earlier, so often the day feels really short. You will find yourself wanting to “get cozy” and you and the kids will likely get drowsy earlier—and therefore bedtime will hopefully be easier.

To get ready, see my video above to learn strategies for the fall time change for children 6 months-5 yrs of age. Please know it can take up to 2 weeks for a child to make the transition to the new time change, so be patient and mindful of your child’s sleepy cues.

Be proactive and begin making changes to your routine 3-7 days prior to the time change for children 6mo.-6yrs

Making incremental changes prior to November 4th is best for children that tend to be early risers or children that tend to be sensitive to schedule changes. These children usually benefit from gradually changing their schedule on the days leading up to the time change. 

How Make Incremental changes:

• Start putting your child to bed 10-15 minutes later than his or her normal naptime or bedtime and of course, make similar changes to the nap schedule and meal schedule. 

• Every other day/night, try to “bump up” naptime/bedtime by 10-15 minutes. Do this until the night of the time change.

• The goal is to complete shifting your child’s bedtime schedule up by an hour by the time the clock changes.  For example: your child’s normal nap time is 8:45am, bump it to 9am and do this for 2 days and then, bump to 9:15am for 2 days and so on. If you would rather “work” the bedtime angle than if bedtime is normally 7pm. During the days leading up to the time change, push bedtime to 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8pm…then when the time change happens, the 8pm bedtime will “FALL BACK” to 7pm and your child will already be in the mode for the new bedtime.

• If you try this method and your child starts waking before 6am, then STOP and go back to your old schedule. You will need to adjust to new time change in the “Just in time” method.

If you don’t have the time or inclination to plan ahead, then you can simply respond to your child’s needs once the time change has happened on November 4, 2018.

This means that all naps, meals and bedtime will automatically switch to the new time. This might also mean your child may wake earlier in the morning for the first week or so, but soon things will normalize.

Use the “Just in Time” option: Sync with new clock times on November 4, 2018.

• If your child starts to wake before 6am, (which is considered early rising) than it is imperative that you attend to this early rising or else it will persist.

• If you experience early rising, go to your child’s room, remind him or her it is still time for sleeping and try to soothe him or her back to sleep. (can use a tot clock for children 2.5 yrs of age and older)

• If the child does not go back to sleep, then use this strategy to make it “morning:” keep the room dark until 6am, then exit the room for 10-20 seconds, then re-enter the room and turn on the lights and open shades and then get your child out of bed. 

• In this way, you will not be reinforcing early rising and eventually your child’s circadian rhythm will get back on track. If you have ongoing issues with early rising after 10-14 days after the time change, then I highly recommend reading my post on early rising.

• In either case, it is important for children to get their daily dose of Vitamin D with morning light exposure. Turn on the lights, open your shades and, most importantly, try to give your child morning sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes a day during that first 7-10 days of the time change. This will help to reset your child’s circadian rhythm.

It’s also important to protect your sleep! Here are my time change tips for adults:

• Since you are gaining an hour of sleep, it is often easier just to go to sleep at your normal time on Saturday night and then allow yourself to sleep in on Sunday morning. Then for the first couple of days, please know that your body will be busy regulating to the new time change, so light exposure in the morning will really help your body adjust.

• Like jet lag, time changes take about a week to resolve and so it is wise to be patient and try to adhere to a flexible schedule and you will begin to see it all normalize. Happy Fall!!

  Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,
I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.
That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Mothers are Amazing and Astounding Human Beings!

Happy Mother's Day 2018!  As a pediatric sleep consultant, I work with mothers on a daily basis. I can in constant awe at a mother's ability to conjure bravery, wit, resourcefulness, resilience, kindness, compassion and generosity-of-heart even when extremely sleep-deprived.

On a daily basis, mothers pour their talents, their love, and their energy into the job of mothering and parenting. So On Mother's Day 2018, I honor you.  Please stop to offer yourself some well-deserved recognition. Please consider how many wonderful things you do for your family and your community on a daily basis.  Please take a moment to relish in the fact that you and all mothers are astounding and totally amazing human beings! 

Cheers!!! Happy Mother's Day!

This gem of a piece written with clever wit and honesty is worth the read. It was written by Kimberly Harrington (@honeystaysuper) is the author of “Amateur Hour: Motherhood in Essays and Swear Words,” from which this essay is excerpted

Posted in New York Times on April 27, 2018 https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/27/opinion/sunday/motherhood-job-description.html

Job Description for the Dumbest Job Ever

By Kimberly Harrington Ms. Harrington is a writer and mother in Vermont.

TITLE: Mother.

SUMMARY: This position manages to be of the utmost importance and yet somehow also the least visible and/or respected in the entire organization. You will enjoy a whole bunch of superficial attention and lip service from culture, advertisers and politicians, but will never receive a credible follow-up in the form of a concrete plan for advancement, support, benefits or retirement.

Please note: Although you will coordinate, plan and do almost everything, you should expect to crash face-first into bed every night feeling that you’ve accomplished basically nothing. Welcome!

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES: You will be responsible for literally everything, including but not limited to:

• Keeping co-workers alive.

• Related to the above, supervision of all possible hazards, including: electrical currents; water in all forms (baths, sheets of ice, swimming pools, Slip ‘N Slides, lakes, dodgy sprinklers, igloos); table corners; dogs that have food-sharing issues; uncut grapes; playground equipment; bees.

• Read every book about the job. Provide verbal CliffsNotes version to adult partner who apparently can’t read these same books although you know for a fact he’s a college graduate because that’s where you guys met. You actually studied together. He’s capable of reading, processing and retaining volumes upon volumes of complex information. Nevertheless. Observe verbal CliffsNotes go in one ear and out the other.

• Become unnaturally intrigued by what gets stains out of clothing, trade tips with other moms and hate yourself for it, bookmark stain chat blogs and hate yourself for it, share hot tips (sunlight! vinegar!) with your friends via text and hate yourself for it.

• Exercise more in less time and with greater difficulty than you ever have at any other point in your life. Expect marginal improvement. You can do it! Sort of!

• Prepare to assume the responsibilities of pets your co-workers have begged for and then subsequently abandoned. Steel yourself for spending $95 on a vet appointment for a pet mouse while you have no fewer than nine mousetraps lying in wait in your basement for her cousins. It’s a real “Upstairs Downstairs”-type situation.

• Plan company off-sites/“vacations.” Oversee reservations and coordination of overpriced rental minivan, multiple flights that will ultimately not work out, strange babysitters, creepy outdated tours you had a free coupon for, family-friendly restaurants where all human hope goes to die and other assorted details. Create packing list. Create shopping list. Create list for house sitter. Create list for pet sitter. Create list of reasons everyone should go on this godforsaken trip without you. Weep.

• Stay on trend but not too on trend with your clothing, if you know what we mean. Don’t look dowdy, but don’t look like you’re trying to dress like a teenager, for God’s sake. Wear things that are flattering but not too revealing. Bare shoulders are O.K. as long as the rest of your arms are fully sheathed. Bottom line: You’re culturally irrelevant — embrace it!

SUPERVISOR: This position reports to co-workers younger and less qualified than you. They will also have little regard for your personal space; may pull your shirt up in public; slap you on the bum (also in public); wonder aloud why your arms, legs and/or stomach are so “squishy”; and will not at all listen to your opinions. They may, on occasion, order you around and be clearly unappreciative of your efforts. You’re a woman; you should be used to this sort of thing in the workplace by now.

SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE: Nothing will prepare you for this. Not babysitting, not having a dog, and certainly not your childbirth class. Maybe get some sleep or eat chocolate-covered pretzels in your underpants?

TYPE OF EMPLOYMENT: This is a volunteer, unpaid, full-time job. If you have paid employment outside the home, this is still a full-time job. You will have to sort that out for yourself. The primary purpose of this position is to train your co-workers to become more competent, independent, well adjusted and successful than you. Don’t be afraid to occasionally whisper “Marry for money” to them when no one’s around. Who cares? Times change, love is fickle and working is hard.

HOW WE MEASURE SUCCESS: Success in this position — while prematurely announced by those who are currently breast-feeding 5-year-olds — may be accurately measured only roughly 10 or 20 or 30 years after your last co-worker has left his or her in-house position. Please note: Once your co-worker has moved on, you will no longer be allowed into a majority of his or her waking moments and certainly not the sleeping ones. Your former co-workers will typically not be terribly vocal about whether they feel your tenure was a success, or what they’re doing now on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes they won’t even tell you what they’ve had to eat or who they are with! Honestly, the feedback process and yearly reviews for this position are a nightmare, if they happen at all. Many employees find Thanksgiving to be an unusually popular time for performance reviews, but we do not recommend it.

SUMMARY: The primary purpose of this position is to train the people you love most in this world to leave you. Forever.

Told you it was dumb....by Kimberly Harrington (@honeystaysuper) is the author of “Amateur Hour: Motherhood in Essays and Swear Words,” from which this essay is excerpted.

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Matresses for Babies: What is the safe choice?

Is it Safe for a Baby to Sleep on a Non-Organic Memory Foam Mattress

Memory foam is a fantastic sleeping surface for adults because it shapes after your body and keeps your spine aligned. But does this means it’s equally beneficial for babies?

Many parents worry that because memory foam is an artificial product designed using certain chemical compounds, the baby may be affected. Are these concerns valid?

First, it’s important to understand that, even though it supports the same material, a memory foam mattress for babies doesn’t come with the same features as one for adults. Mattresses created for adults are softer on the surface, to allow the body to sink in a bit. However, this feature can be problematic for babies because there is a risk of suffocation. This is why mattresses designed for babies are firm and have high responsiveness.

The Special Design

The mattress that is designed especially for the crib comes with a different construction compared to one designed for an adult. The producer uses a different process and the bed is built for babies from the ground up. This also means no harmful chemicals are used, even if the mattress has that memory foam specific smell when you first remove the cover.

The surface is firm and responsive and the baby has the necessary back support to grow healthy and strong. Even more, because the mattress is very comfortable, the baby will sleep better so there will be less crying and fussing.

The Concerns

There are two main concerns raised by parents when it comes to memory foam: the chemicals and the SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

About the chemicals, there was no report about babies suffering from any toxicity. There may have been babies that developed an allergic reaction, but this doesn’t happen just with memory foam. Some babies develop reactions to latex and this is a 100% natural material. Some babies just don’t support the material and if this happens, you must talk to your doctor and change the mattress.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends babies sleep on their back and in an independent sleep space to avoid any issues with soft mattresses or pillows. Typically a foam mattress is not appropriate for babies in cribs. If you’re still worried something may happen, ask for a mattress with a special cover that allows the air to flow. This way, even if the baby does roll over and gets stuck on their face, they will still be able to breathe.

Don’t Mix and Match

It’s very important to understand that your baby shouldn’t sleep in bed with you, on an adult memory foam mattress! The risks of SDIS on an adult mattress are high even when you are lying next to your baby. If you decided to go with a special bed for the crib, use it at all times!

Always Buy from Trusted Brands

Memory foam is a versatile material and producers can use all sorts of chemicals into the mix. Also, the level of firmness can easily be altered by the producer so make sure to buy only from brands you trust. If you are at your first baby and don’t know which brand to choose, ask other parents and read reviews online.

It may seem like a tedious task but nothing is more important than the safety of your baby! Take a look at forums and ask family and friends. There are some amazing brands out there, and some even offer a decent price.

Overall, when the mattress is built with babies’ needs in mind, such a surface can help your baby sleep better and grow healthy and strong. It may be a bit scary when you first start looking for a reliable product, but it is definitely worth the effort!

(researched and written by Jen Druski...who loves to write)

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!