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“I’ll Believe It When I See It”: The Real Emotions Parents Feel When Starting Sleep Coaching
Deciding to get help with your baby’s sleep is rarely a simple decision.
For most parents, it comes after months of exhaustion, late-night Googling, second-guessing, and wondering if things will ever get easier.
And even after saying yes to sleep coaching, the emotions don’t magically disappear.
One family I’m currently working with described that moment perfectly:
“I was feeling relief that we were finally taking action on his sleep. At the same time, I was nervous about whether it would work.”
If you’re standing at that crossroads—wanting better sleep but wondering if coaching will actually work for your baby—you are not alone.
These feelings are incredibly common.
The Pain Points That Led This Family to Seek Help
Like many families, these parents had reached the point where their nights felt unpredictable and exhausting.
Evenings weren’t relaxing. They were spent waiting.
Waiting for the next wake-up.
Waiting to hear cries through the monitor.
Waiting to see how the night would unfold.
That constant anticipation can be one of the most draining parts of poor sleep.
Instead of enjoying quiet time together after bedtime, they felt stuck in a cycle of anxiety and interruption.
At the same time, the questions many parents ask before hiring a sleep coach were running through their minds:
What if this doesn’t work for my baby?
Is this really worth the financial investment?
What if we try this and nothing changes?
For example, this mom shared:
“I remember thinking I really hope this works because otherwise I feel like we’re out of options.”
Sleep coaching is both an emotional and financial commitment, and it’s completely normal for parents to feel uncertain before getting started.
Saying Yes: Relief Mixed With Doubt
When they officially decided to begin coaching, the feeling wasn’t just excitement.
It was a mix of hope, relief, and nervous anticipation.
On one hand, they felt relief that they were finally taking action. On the other hand, they wondered how their son would respond and whether the process would work for their particular child.
This mom said something I hear often from parents:
“Joanna has great reviews and everything she’s saying makes sense… but my baby is really tough, so I’ll believe it when I see it.”
And honestly, that mindset makes total sense.
Parents aren’t looking for promises, they’re looking for proof.
Preparing for the Process
After saying yes to coaching, these parents wanted to make sure they made the most of the experience.
They focused on preparing, learning, and completing the action steps leading up to the start of coaching.
Because for them, it was important to fully commit to the process.
As the mom explained:
“It was a financial commitment for us, so I wanted to make sure we were really maximizing our time and learning as much as possible.”
At the same time, they reminded themselves that getting help was the right decision, even if it still felt uncertain.
“I was saying that it was the right decision to get help. Even though it still felt uncertain, I was confident that we really needed help and that our current situation wasn’t sustainable.”
Many parents reach this point where they realize something has to change.
And sometimes the most powerful step forward is simply asking for support.
The First Nights: Expecting the Worst
One of the biggest fears parents have when starting sleep coaching is what those first nights will look like.
Many families prepare themselves for long stretches of crying or intense protests.
These parents expected that too.
But what actually happened surprised them.
Instead of overwhelming nights, they started seeing progress faster than they anticipated.
And as their began learning how to settle himself to sleep, everything began to shift.
The Biggest Change: Transforming Their Nights
The most noticeable improvements for this family have been during the night.
Their child has started falling asleep independently, something that previously felt out of reach.
He’s also staying asleep longer, and sometimes even sleeping through the night.
For his parents, this has been a huge shift.
“Our nights have been transformed.”
And with those improved nights came something many parents desperately miss: peaceful evenings.
“We are able to relax a lot more in the evenings now because we aren’t just waiting for our son to wake up.”
When families move from anxious waiting to actually relaxing after bedtime, it can completely change the rhythm of the household.
The Impact on Family Life
Because this family is still in the middle of their sleep coaching journey, everything is still unfolding—but they’re already noticing some meaningful shifts.
More sleep has brought:
More rest for both parents
A sense of reliefRenewed optimism about their baby’s sleep
Calm evenings instead of stressful ones
“We are both getting more rest now which is a game changer.”
When parents begin sleeping better, everything in family life tends to feel more manageable.
The Next Step on the Stairway to Sleep: Mastering Naps
One thing I often explain to families is that sleep learning tends to happen in stages, what I like to call the Stairway to Sleep.
Nightime sleep is the first step and once learning how to fall asleep independently and nights become more predictable and consistent, we can then move on to strengthening daytime sleep.
With nights becoming much more stable, the next step is mastering naps. This is a very natural progression.
Sleep coaching isn’t about quick fixes—it’s about teaching babies sustainable sleep skills step by step.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Yes. Many parents feel hopeful and anxious at the same time. Sleep coaching is both an emotional and financial investment, so it's completely normal to wonder whether it will work for your baby. But with the right sleep plan and the right pace to match the temperament of your child, we can be successfully working day-by-day to customize teaching your child the sleep skills. I also have a Sleep Success Guarantee so you can feel confident in the investment.
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Gentle sleep coaching focuses on teaching independent sleep using responsive, age-appropriate methods. The approach is individualized for each family and does not rely on a one-size-fits-all method. The parent is in the room with the child and can offer both physical and verbal assurances and be responsive.
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Every baby is different, but many families notice positive changes within the first 3-5 days as children begin learning independent sleep skills. Consistency and individualized support are key.
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Parents often worry that their baby is "too difficult" for sleep coaching. While every child is unique, gentle sleep coaching is customized to meet each baby's temperament, developmental stage, and family's goals.
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Nighttime sleep usually provides the strongest opportunity for babies to learn independent sleep skills. Once nights become more predictable, naps often become easier to improve.
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I work with children 6 months to 6 years of age. It’s never too late to learn the skills of sleep!
From Fear to Freedom: How One Family Conquered Sleep Regressions—Twice
When this family first considered sleep coaching, their son was just 7 months old. Sleep wasn’t perfect—but it felt manageable. What stopped them from seeking help wasn’t uncertainty about sleep itself; it was fear.
Fear fueled by misinformation.
“We actually tried approaching sleep training at 7 or 8 months… but there was a lot of misinformation with the cry-it-out method, and that really scared us.”
So they waited. Like many parents do.
They relied on what worked in the moment—rocking, bottles, pacifiers, co-sleeping. Over time, though, those supports stopped working. By 15 months, their son was waking every 30–45 minutes, needing a bottle each time to fall back asleep.
“There was no sleep at all for those 3–4 months… He was drinking so much milk at night that he wasn’t even hungry for solids in the morning.”
They were exhausted, discouraged, and ready for an option that aligned with their values.
Gentle Sleep Coaching at 15 Months: The First Breakthrough
When we began working together, one thing mattered most to them: this could not be cry-it-out.
We moved slowly and intentionally. I explained the science behind sleep, how sleep pressure and circadian rhythm work together, and why reducing sleep crutches doesn’t mean abandoning a child.
“Joanna was very systematic. She made it clear this was not cry-it-out. It was a slow transition. We had to trust the process—and we did.”
And it worked.
Their son learned how to fall asleep independently.
He slept through the night.
He ate better during the day.
He woke up joyful.
“Now we see him waking up with a smile and going to bed happily. I can’t imagine life before this stage.”
What Causes Toddler Sleep Regression? Illness, Travel, and Big Changes
Just when things felt solid, life threw everything at them at once:
Hand, foot, and mouth disease
A new pregnancy
A major relocation
“All those sneaky sleep crutches we had completely eliminated—boom, they were back.”
At 22 months, they were facing frequent night wakings, bottles overnight, and a very overtired toddler. Even though they had already succeeded once, starting again felt vulnerable.
But this time, something was different.
“We made a whoops and a boo-boo and needed help again. But our confidence level was sky-high.”
Why the Second Sleep Reset Was Faster and Easier
Because they already understood the process, the second round of sleep coaching moved quickly—even with travel and mom being very pregnant.
“It was like sleep training an entirely new baby… but we had the process, so it was easier.”
Within days:
Sleep consolidated
Naps returned
And their son began asking to nap
“He literally walks to his bedroom, says ‘nap time,’ and asks to go into the crib.”
Life on the Other Side
Today, bedtime and naps are calm and predictable:
No bottles
No rocking
No resistance
Dad is fully involved.
Grandparents can handle bedtime confidently.
Everyone is sleeping—including mom, just weeks from delivering another baby.
“We finally get to eat together again. We hadn’t seen a movie in two years.”
“It feels like a privilege to put him to bed.”
Watch their full video story here:
Sleep Regression Doesn’t Mean Sleep Training Failed
If sleep unraveled after it was working, you didn’t fail—and neither did your child.
Regression during illness, travel, developmental leaps, or major life changes is normal. The key is knowing how to respond without panic and without undoing the skills your child already has.
How to Reset Sleep Gently (Without Cry-It-Out)
A Sleep Strategy Session is a 60-minute Zoom call where we:
Assess your child’s sleep history
Identify what caused the regression
Decide whether you need a reset or deeper support
Already Sleep Trained—but Stuck?
I created a Sleep Regression Guide specifically for families whose children already have good sleep skills but need a refresh during:
Illness
Travel
Developmental changes
Big life transitions
Download the Sleep Regression Guide
You’re not back at square one.
You’re just at a reset point—and support makes all the difference.
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Hello, I'm Joanna with blissful baby sleep coaching. And we're here with another success story, their son. They first came to me when their son was 15 months old. We totally successfully sleep trained him and nap trained him, and it was awesome, right? Yeah. And then little guy got really sick with hand, foot and mouth. They were also in a big transition with possibly moving. And so all those sneaky sleep crutches that we had completely eliminated, boom, they were back.
Yes. We actually then had to do a second session, if you will, of sleep training again when he was two months old. 24 months old. 22 months old. 22 months old, yes. So as we're going through the sleep success story, I just wanted everyone to kind of understand that they've got two really unique perspectives on doing sleep coaching with a 15 month old and doing a sleep coaching with a 22 month old, which are two entirely different creatures.
So my first question always is, what was life like before you called me? Yeah. So we actually tried approaching you at seven, eight months when our baby was that old. And there was a lot of misinformation with cry it out method. And that was something that really scared us. And then we ultimately decided to not go through with it. And life at the time seemed okay. Like we were involuntarily bringing on a lot of crutches just to make him sleep and keep him asleep, which we didn't know at the time that we were doing like we were rocking, we were singing, we're doing like a bunch of things, which seemed harmless, which is harmless.
And we had the bottle, we had the pacifier, we had like a bunch of things that were going on to try and get him to stay asleep. And we continue to do that for a year, until he was a year. And then we had a big trip where we co slept for like a month and a half or something. And after that he just would not go back to his crib.
And it. It was almost two to three months until he was 15 months that we had to go through that process where he was asleep with us in the bed at first, but then he'll keep on waking up during the night. So he will only sleep for about 30 to 45 minutes at a time. And then he wake up and he'll ask for a bottle and then he fall asleep on the bottle.
And what ended up happening was he was having just so much milk at night that he was not eating enough in the morning time. So like whenever we would try to introduce food, solid foods, he would just not Accept it because he was getting all of those calories at night. And so it was like a pretty bad cycle of giving him the bottle, trying to keep him asleep for both of us.
There was no sleep at all for the three, four months that we went through it. Yeah. And then ultimately we kind of went back and we looked at Joanna for help. Yeah. And Dad, I also remember during that time that maybe, like, it was getting harder for you to help him with go to sleep or go back to sleep. Wasn't he kind of getting mommy preferenced where your son was like, even though you were co sleeping and doing all the things, he was always, like, wanting mom instead of like, you?
Yeah, yeah. No, I think it was. It was super hard, you know, almost so much so that I was like questioning, like, come on, like, baby, why are you not sleeping with me? But. But yeah, it was super hard. And I think we were not sleeping enough like Utra said. And, you know, that was making us irritable as well. So it was. Don't imagine that life again. Yeah, exactly.
Yes, exactly. Like just irritable. And nothing was working. Okay. And then mom, you had said that you, you know, initially at seven months, you were like, I don't want to do cry it out. That's all I see in the marketplace. Yeah. That's why you didn't make any changes at seven or eight months. But then here you are at 15 months now you're desperate. Like, now you've gone way down.
Like, your ability to tolerate what's going on. Like dad said, like, highly irrit. No sleep. Yeah. So then you were like, all right, I've got to find an alternative to cry it out. So you found me because I'm a gentle sleep coach. And so what was it like to, you know, get that support, that. How did that feel for you to. So I think first of all, what I want to say is that Joanna is very systematic.
Like, so even before we started the coaching, I remember that you had asked us to do like a log of everything that he does. So that kind of first of all gave us the idea that we are in the right path. Like, you know, we are working with someone who actually knows what to do and like it. You made it very clear that this was not a cry it out method.
This was a slow transition. And of course we had to keep an open mind that there is, whenever there is transition, whenever there is change, a baby is going to resist. So we, we had to trust that and we went with the flow at the time to, you know, Kind of get that understanding in because we didn't know that we had introduced all of these crutches that were crutches.
Like, we didn't even know. We just thought that was just part of how a baby sleeps because everybody does it. Yeah. So I think that's. That was one thing that immediately kind of hit that once you started with the coaching process, we kind of got the understanding of what we are supposed to do, the bare minimum things that we're supposed to do versus everything else that we were doing.
But. Yeah. Do you want to add something else? Yeah, no. I mean, it was, it was crazy. Like, you know, I even learned about, like all the different cycles of sleep. Like, you know, who knew like all of that existed? Right. So when you start learning a little bit more about the science behind, you know, what happens and why it happens, I think it sort of gets you to a stage of then starting to figure out, okay, now how do we use that understanding, you know, to give the baby, you know, what he really needs, which is a good amount of sleep so that he's actually excited.
Even he was not doing well. Like, he was irritable, like when he would be up. Like, I mean, now we see him, you know, after that he's deep trained, like waking up with a smile and like going to bed, like happily. Like, you know, like I said, I can't imagine, you know, life before the stage. Yeah. Like, we're at the point now, you guys, where he literally reaches for his crib and he tells his parents that he is ready for his nap.
Yes, correct. Walking towards the bedroom, saying, it's nap time. Yeah. Not in a million years did anyone expect that result that, that, that we were able to use, you know, behavioral science and sleep science to really match it with what his needs were. Yes. Move in very, very incremental small steps. Yeah. You know, and like I said, like we did it once when he was 15 months and you guys had a great run where everything was great for several months and then the illness came and then you by accident reintroduced sleep crutches and this happened.
So I think it's an important topic because a lot of parents will say to me, oh, my God, if I do this with you, am I ever going to have to do it again? And I say, it depends. And they go, what? And I say, well, if we find out your child is highly sleep crutch prone, if you reintroduce the crutches for too long and consistently, like bedtime at, you know, each interval all night long, then yes.
That child will gladly take as many sleep crutches as you're willing to offer, and you will have what's considered a full sleep regression, meaning your child wasn't waking up at night, and now they're waking up again four or five times a night. Yeah. And that's what happened to you guys. And it was hard, but also knew you could come back to me for help. That there was no shame.
Yeah. There was no judgment. It was like, you know what? We made a whoops and a boo boo and we need help again. And when we worked again, like, your confidence level was, like, sky high. You're like, we know. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I think that's. That's a very good point that, you know. First of all, during this age, right between one and two years, the baby's personality is changing every month.
So he definitely was not the same baby at 15 months as he was at 22 months when we started again. When we were, you know, during that phase of regression plus illness that we went through at 15 months, we kind of understood very quickly that we made the boo boo. Like, we should not have done those things because we've noticed it consistently that our baby thrives with consistency.
Like he wants a schedule. And having known that if he had just been a little more resistant to the changes that we were, because we actually introduced the changes, he probably didn't even need it. So that was like, a lesson that we learned after the fact that, okay, we made this mistake, but we know exactly what we did wrong that got us here. And I think at the time, I was also pregnant, and there was, like, some priorities in terms of, like, emotionally I was just unable to hear him cry.
So, like, I felt the need to go and grab him and just stop the cries for, you know, even a little bit. So I think it was kind of an emotional time as well for me that we thought, okay, you know, it's okay. The main thing is that he sleeps, and I don't care for now. So we'll just do what we do, and then we'll figure out once he's a little more, you know, aware, and then, you know, we reintroduce it.
So now, like, when do we know that? What is the right time to do it again? So I guess, you know, that's also important to know that, you know, your baby will actually tell you in many ways that he wants to sleep better. And like he said, the main change that we noticed was that he was a happier baby when he was sleeping through the night. And and then, like, we started noticing that he was just getting really, really cranky.
And, like, he was, you know, very irritable. You know, he was not happy at all. At bedtime, he would wake up grumpy. And at 22 months, like, he was also having a speech burst at the time. So we kind of figured out that this is the right time to do it, even from, like, very heavily pregnant point of view, that we wanted to make sure that before the second baby, yes, he is sleep trained.
And that was kind of the window that we found that this is, like the perfect window right now that we give him a couple of months and he will be able to master it. And we saw, like, the things that we did the first time around, and we incorporated a lot of those now. But I want to reiterate that he was not the same baby. He was an entirely different baby at 15 months, and he was an entirely different baby at 22 months.
So it was like sleep training, an entirely new baby. But we knew the process, so it became easier for us to actually go through with it. And we made success pretty soon. And that is the most important thing. So. Yeah. Yeah. And exactly. And again, if there's ever a regression, parents will also say, okay, well, if I have to sleep train again, like, how quickly can they learn?
And I say, very quickly. I mean, usually within a week, we're seeing massive improvement. Yes. And then towards full mastery, where you're getting the beautiful, you know, life that you're getting now. You know, I mean, within two weeks. And now it's been six weeks where he's sleeping through the night and taking impeccable naps. So why don't you tell everyone what sleep looks like now? So it's amazing. First of all, there are no res.
There is no resistance to wanting to go to sleep. He knows it's part of his daily routine. He understands that there is, like, a pattern that he needs to follow, and he's happily doing it. He plays when he plays, and when it's time to sleep, he understands that he has to sleep. And he, you know, we start his night routine at around, you know, 6, 30ish, typically. And he knows, like, once the night routine has started, you know, this is the pattern.
Like you do A, B, C. Like, it's kind of like that. And then he has to go into the crib and then he has to fall asleep. And there are days when he would just be like, I, I just want to go to sleep. And he will tell us that, you know, you can just Put me in the crib and bye. Bye. So he's gotten to that stage in the afternoons.
He's like his own nap captain. He will be like at 12:30, he's like, okay, bye, I'm done. And then he'll just go inside to sleep. So yeah, he's gotten really good at it. He sometimes will have some arousals in between. Like if he's startled by a sound or something, he would wake up. But then now we are known to the process and you know, we know not to disturb him.
So he has mastered his sleep skills so well that he can actually now go back to sleep on his own. And you know, those, those things are important to know as parents. And I think first time parents, we are, you know, overly cautious. You know, he's sleeping so well, but we still have the baby monitor on all the time and we are still, you know, constantly watching him.
We don't have to anymore, but we still do it. And so like we, we see that, you know, even if he tosses and turns and you know, there are times that he'll actually sit up and he'll just look around, but then he'll fall asleep again. So like that's, that's, that's like great transition that we are seeing now in our baby and like amazing mood. So it's, it has so many benefits.
Like his mood is great, he's eating well, which was another, you know, point of concern that we had initially. His, you know, milk intake has gone really down, which is another thing that we wanted, like, we wanted him to have other foods and not just rely on milk. So yeah, so all of those things like, are great positives that we have seen just from sleep training. Like there are so many things that are interrelated to one part.
And I think you also said you got the speech burst. Yeah, yeah, that was a big one. Right? So like, you know, when your child's, you know, between 15 and 18 months, some speech starts coming and you guys were like, what? We want more, we want more speech. And then once we trained him again, like the speech started just, you know, pouring out, which is. Yeah, so if, like, so now we know that life is better.
We know that the second baby is coming any day now, which is amazing. The parents have been integrated. Dad, you've been integrated. So talk about what it was like to now be in a situation where like you can handle the everything. Like you, if, if mom's in the hospital and you're home with your son, like no problem. Like talk about that super Easy. Well, it was not the case like before we did this, but, you know, same thing, right?
Like, he knows when he wants to go back in and get his nap. Or like, you know, he knows when it's like, you know, sleep time at night. So the schedule is the same. Like, he does it now with any of us in the family, which is. Which is amazing because there used to be a preference that he had for mom. You know, it feels great to be able to do this with your son.
And, you know, that's, I guess, the. On the emotional side of things, like, you know, you feel good about it yourself in a way that you're able to do this and your son's been sort of able to spend time, know, with you, like, read a book, you know, get him to bed. I think all of that is. Sounds super simple, but it's. It's actually a privilege. It is a privilege.
And I often say to families, like, when. When you have a situation where you kind of had a mommy preference going on, the dad often feels like really on the periphery. Even though dad wants to be totally involved, the baby kind of creates this, like, barrier. It's kind of an invisible barrier. And so then the dad kind of has this feeling like, well, whenever I try to help, I actually make things wor.
Right. And so now the benefit of sleep training is what we get is dad and baby are bonded. Dad and baby trust each other. Dad and baby have their own cute little pattern. Dad gets to have that beautiful experience of reading the book. I mean, there's just never. There's nothing better than sitting with your kid on your lap reading a book, and then a final kiss. Put him in the crib, walk out the door and be like, it's 7:30.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it just is, right? I mean, it's such a massive accomplishment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I. I want to actually say, you had told me when we had started the process that he needs to have association with the routine and not the person. And not the person. Yeah. And that was something that we didn't really think how important it was at the time. Now we do that.
It really doesn't matter if I'm doing the routine or he's doing the routine or any of the grandparents is doing it or the neighbor is doing it. Like, he's actually fine. He go to sleep because he knows that he has to take a bath, he has to read a book, and then he has to go to the crib and he has to sleep all night. Like, he knows that.
So that's amazing. Amazing. So what's possible for you guys now that literally was not possible before working with me? Yeah. I think eating together is the main one for us. So we were never able to eat together at the same time for the longest time because one of us was always on call with our baby. And that's changed. Now we definitely get to spend some evenings together, which is amazing.
You know, just talk, actually about anything, which has been great. Yeah. Watch tv. Yeah. A bunch of different things that we had not caught upon over the last couple years, so. Yeah. Last couple years. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We had a lot to catch up in the last 20 years. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we hadn't seen a movie in two years, so. Yeah. So just getting able to start a movie and finish the movie the same night, that was like, wow.
I know, right? So simple pleasures. Okay, cool. So when you guys. If you guys ever bump into a family that is either scared to do sleep training or doesn't believe it's going to work for them because their case is too hard or they have a misperception that the only way to sleep train is cried out, like, what. What do you guys. I'd love dad to share first. Like, what do you guys want people to know about.
About it if they're like, I don't know. Yeah, we were just joking about it. Right. Like, you know, I'm gonna show him. Show the. Show the family, like our kid, you know, sleeping soundly and. And tell them that this is what is possible. Right. And you can actually go, you know, have dinner, watch a TV show or, like, watch a movie, like, while that's happening, and actually get your life in order.
And more importantly, get some sleep. If you want to get some sleep yourself and actually wake up with your kid and have the energy to play with the kid. So I think that's what is really possible. And having gone through this now a couple of times, I would say that we were actually apprehensive the first time ourselves. And it wasn't necessarily easy. We had to learn, we had to teach, and we had to go through the process.
So it's going to be a journey, and that's going to be the key. And it's really good for the baby, it's good for the parents, it's good for everyone else in the household, and, you know, that's ultimately what you want. Yeah. How about you, Mom? Yeah, I completely agree that it's a journey. It's going to be a slow transition. We had spoken about it initially as well, that Even though it's not a cry it out method, there are going to be some cries because our babies are smart, like they are going to be resistant to change.
They want, you know, things the easy way. They. So it's when, when we take some of those pleasures away, it's not going to be great. Like even as adults we don't like it. So. So it's going to be a slow transition. There are going to be some cries realistically. But like having gone through the process now and it's been like two months of a sleep trained baby, those four or five days in the initial days when we were sleep training him and there were some cries, they seem like a distant past now because the baby is just doing so well.
He is in great mood. He's, you know, doing well all over, all around. And I think when you look at that, it's like a small price to pay. But that's a price that we pay as parents because to be very honest, the baby is fine. Like we have to accept the fact that it's not, you know, a cried out method where they are completely abandoning the baby and just leaving them to fend for themselves.
Like that's not what we are doing here. This is a slow, easy, gradual process that is even acceptable for the child. Like they understand, they see you, they understand that there is a change going on. They are going to be resistant to the change at first, but I promise you that they will accept it and that this is great for them in a lot of ways. Exactly. And I think that's really important to say is that there is no such thing as a.
No. Yeah. No crying. And the way I like to, because the word crying can be very triggering. So it's like the word for me is more like level of protest. Like. Yeah. Are they protesting because they're frustrated? Are they processing because they're confused? Yeah. Protesting because you're being super inconsistent and they don't know what you're doing. So there's, you know, the way I work is really deep in decoding the nature of the protest so that we can respond appropriately.
And that's the key thing is always looking at what the trigger is and how we can respond appropriately in order to still make progress. Yeah. Still able to offer support, verbal support, physical support. We're physically in the room, we're available to them. Yeah. It's not giving them the crutch every single time. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Skills to be built. Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story.
You're, you're two time, two time winner. And I think you have learned well and it will be great because now your baby's sleeping and now when you go to have, you know, your new family member coming any day now, you can do this with confidence that your child is home and sleeping well and anyone can put him to sleep, which is amazing. Yeah. Yeah. We are so excited about that.
This definitely was the main point of concern for us, you know, with. With a new baby coming in. So, yeah, I just want to say to the moms out there that, you know, just be patient. You know, we are all doing the best that we can. And, you know, this is a great option to actually consider because we are seeing the change in our baby that just sleep can bring.
So, like, sleep is connected to so many things of, you know, being well all around. And once we fix that small, tiny thing, it just changes to your baby. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Well, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks, Joanna. Okay.
Best Investment Ever: Hired Joanna for Both Kiddos.
Best Investment Ever. 2X Over
When parents experience real sleep—blissful, predictable, sustainable sleep—they want it for every child in their home.
That’s exactly what happened for Myra and her husband.
Not once.
Twice.
Working with a tenured sleep expert two times showed them something powerful:
sleep coaching doesn’t just change nights—it changes everything.
The First Time: Survival Mode
When Myra first reached out, her 18-month-old had never slept through the night.
They had just moved.
Started a new daycare.
Both parents were exhausted and barely functioning.
“We were struggling with meal prepping because we were so tired all the time. We were just getting takeout, spending too much money. Our house was a mess. We were having trouble concentrating at work,” Myra recalls. “Our son had behavioral issues because he wasn’t sleeping. Everyone was grumpy.”
They weren’t failing as parents.
They were sleep-deprived.
After a few weeks of tailored sleep coaching, everything shifted:
Their toddler slept through the night
Their home felt calmer
Their energy returned
And for years, sleep stayed solid.
The Second Time: Trusting the Process
When baby #2 arrived, they didn’t wait for rock bottom.
This baby was calmer—but still struggled with night wakings and naps.
And this time, Myra was also navigating postpartum depression and anxiety.
Her therapist was clear:
Healing requires consolidated sleep.
They reached out when their son was six months old—ready to begin.
But here’s the key difference with experienced, ethical sleep coaching:
Readiness matters.
He wasn’t quite there yet.
He had just started wearing a cranial helmet (causing overheating)
His mobility wasn’t fully developed
So we waited.
One month later—at seven months—he was ready.
That patience made all the difference.
(Assessing readiness—of both child and parent—is a core part of my Stairway to Sleep™ process.)
Why Customization Changes Everything
Sleep coaching is not one-size-fits-all.
Each child.
Each season.
Each family.
“What I love about working with Joanna is that we always had a tailored plan,” Myra says. “We knew exactly what to do, what to look out for, and how to adjust as we went along. That was so helpful.”
That flexibility allowed her to support her baby’s sleep and protect her mental health.
The Results: Life, Reclaimed
Today:
Two hands-free naps a day
Sleeping through the night
A calm, thriving household
Myra shared that…“I can actually have time for myself now. I can have a quiet dinner, go to bed early, take a shower, and just decompress,” she shares. “I was even able to attend a work conference in another state because my husband and our nanny could put both boys to sleep without an issue.”
She even traveled out of state for work, confident her husband and nanny could handle bedtime with ease.
And here’s the part that matters most:
With their first child, they had considered quitting their jobs and moving closer to family.
Once sleep improved?
They realized they loved their home, their new community, their careers, and their new life.
Sleep deprivation had been clouding everything.
“The Best Investment We Ever Made”
For parents on the fence, Myra says it best:
“We did this twice, with two very different kids at different ages, and both are still great sleepers years later. It was the best investment we ever made. Sleep deprivation clouds every aspect of life—your marriage, your work, your mental health. When that burden lifts, everything changes.”
Sleep isn’t a luxury.
It’s a foundation.
And with the right guidance, it’s absolutely within reach.
Ready to See These Benefits in Your Family?
Sleep coaching isn’t about control or discipline. It’s about creating the right environment and circumstance, using proven sleep science and attachment theory, and responding with sensitivity so your child can learn the essential skill of sleep. And in the process, your relationship grows stronger than ever.
Book your sleep strategy session and let’s determine the right next steps for your child and your family.
At Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, I believe that sleep is a learned skill, and every child is capable of learning it—with the right guidance and support.
Whether you’re a working parent juggling deadlines or simply a family in need of rest, know this: there is always help and hope available.
If you’ve been hesitating, wondering if sleep coaching is right for you, let me reassure you: the hardest part is deciding to start. From there, with expert guidance and your dedication, the progress will come quickly. This is your chance to transform your life in a way few other things can.
Ready to take the leap? Let’s talk about how sleep coaching can create your family’s transformation. You deserve this. Your baby deserves this. And your future self will thank you.
Let’s start with an easy first step, schedule a Sleep Strategy Session so me, you and your partner can have an 1 hr long zoom session so I can properly assess the sleep situation and determine if you need one-on-one sleep coaching support.
Let’s get your baby sleeping—and get YOU your sanity back.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
Spring Daylight Savings 2026: How to Gently Help Your Child Adjust When We “Spring Forward”
In 2026, Daylight Saving Time begins on Sunday, March 8.
At 2:00 a.m., the clocks move forward one hour.
Which means your child’s 7:00 a.m. wake-up suddenly feels like 6:00 a.m. to their body.
And if you’ve ever lived through spring daylight savings with a baby or toddler, you know: this isn’t “just one hour.”
It can feel like jet lag… without the vacation.
The good news? With a gentle, steady approach, most children adjust within a few days. You don’t need drastic schedule changes, cry-it-out, or rigid sleep boot camps.
Let’s walk through exactly how to handle spring forward 2026, calmly and confidently.
Why Spring Forward Feels Harder Than Fall Back
When we “fall back” in November, children get what feels like extra sleep.
When we “spring forward,” we’re asking their bodies to fall asleep earlier than their internal clock is ready for.
That’s the tricky part.
Your child’s circadian rhythm doesn’t change just because the clock does. For a few days, bedtime may feel too early, mornings may feel too early, and naps can get wobbly.
This is normal.
It’s not a regression. It’s a temporary rhythm shift.
Option 1: Do Nothing (Yes, Really)
If your child is generally a flexible sleeper, you can simply switch to the new clock time on March 8 and allow their body to adjust naturally.
Most children adapt within 3–7 days.
What this looks like:
Bedtime stays the same by the clock.
Wake-up stays the same by the clock.
You protect sleep pressure and keep routines consistent.
You get outside in morning light to help reset their internal clock.
This works especially well for:
Babies under 6 months
Toddlers with solid sleep foundations
Families who prefer minimal schedule tinkering
Consistency is more powerful than perfection here.
Option 2: Gradually Shift Before March 8
If your child is sensitive to overtiredness or early waking, you can shift the schedule slowly in the 4–5 days leading up to Sunday, March 8.
Starting Wednesday, March 4:
Move bedtime 10–15 minutes earlier each night.
Shift naps earlier by the same amount.
Wake your child 10–15 minutes earlier each morning.
By Sunday, you’ll already be close to the new time.
This approach feels gentler for:
Toddlers prone to overtired meltdowns
Babies in the middle of a sleep regression
Children who wake very early
Small shifts protect regulation. Big swings often backfire.
What About Early Morning Wake-Ups?
Spring daylight savings can temporarily cause:
5:00–6:00 a.m. wake-ups
Shorter naps
Extra bedtime resistance
Before assuming something is “wrong,” give it 3–5 days.
To support smoother mornings:
Keep the room dark (blackout curtains really help this time of year).
Don’t start the day before your desired wake time.
Expose your child to natural sunlight within 30–60 minutes of waking.
Keep naps age-appropriate to avoid overtired spirals.
Light is the strongest cue for resetting the body clock.
Should You Use Cry-It-Out for the Transition?
Short answer: no.
There’s no need to overhaul your approach or suddenly introduce extinction methods just because of daylight savings.
Spring forward is temporary.
If your family practices gentle sleep coaching, responsive settling, or a no cry-it-out approach, you can absolutely stay consistent through this shift.
Sleep transitions go more smoothly when children feel secure.
A Gentle Spring Forward Plan by Age
Babies (0–6 months)
Follow wake windows. Protect naps. Use light exposure in the morning. Avoid rigid clock watching.
Babies (6–12 months)
Shift gradually if sensitive. Keep bedtime routine predictable. Offer a slightly earlier bedtime for a few days if needed.
Toddlers & Kiddos (1–5 years)
Prep them verbally:
“The clock is changing. We’ll still sleep when it’s dark.”
Keep boundaries steady. Expect 3–5 days of adjustment.
How Long Does It Take to Adjust?
For most children:
Mild disruption: 2–3 days
More sensitive sleepers: 5–7 days
Rarely longer than 10 days
If sleep struggles persist beyond two weeks, there may be a separate schedule or regression issue—not just daylight savings.
A Calm Reframe for Parents
If March 8 feels stressful, here’s your permission slip:
You don’t have to engineer this perfectly.
You don’t have to fix everything in one night.
You don’t have to panic if bedtime runs late for a few evenings.
Children’s bodies are designed to adapt.
Your job isn’t to control every variable.
It’s to stay steady.
And steady is powerful.
Frequently Asked Questions About Spring Daylight Savings
-
Daylight Saving Time begins on Sunday, March 8, 2026, at 2:00 a.m. Clocks move forward one hour.
-
Possibly for a few days. Their body clock may still be on “old time.” Most adjust within a week
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If you do nothing, keep bedtime the same by the clock. If shifting gradually before March 8, move bedtime 10–15 minutes earlier for several days.
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For sleep, yes. Spring forward asks children to fall asleep earlier than their internal rhythm prefers.
Are you struggling with sleep after the time change?
If has been 2 weeks and you are still having issues, it might be time for “Sleep Tune-Up” time and you can fill out this form and state you need a sleep tune up call ($150 for 30 min)
Critical Insights: AI And Sleep Coaching For Parents
Let’s be honest, AI is everywhere. From meal planning to mindset coaching, there’s an app or chatbot for everything.
And now, some of these tools are claiming to coach your baby’s sleep.
It sounds convenient, right? Quick answers, instant plans, no appointments.
But when it comes to your child’s sleep, it’s not that simple.
Why AI Tools Can Be Misleading
AI is amazing at gathering information, but it doesn’t understand your child.
Some of the new “AI sleep coaches” are just chatbots trained on surface-level data. They don’t consider your child’s age, temperament, sleep environment, or family schedule and family/parental dynamics.
They can’t tell when your little one is overtired, teething, or going through a regression—and that ALL matters.
Sleep coaching isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s about behavior, biology, and connection. Without that human understanding, an AI tool can easily miss the mark.
The Hidden Risk of AI Sleep Coaches
Lately, I’ve seen a growing trend—people who are not trained sleep coaches creating AI “bots” or GPTs and selling them as quick-fix solutions.
These untrained creators often mix and match methods without understanding the behavioral science and attachment theory behind sleep. The result can be intermittent reinforcement—a pattern that makes sleep struggles harder to fix and the child will actually cry louder, longer and harder.
Here’s what that looks like: one night, the AI tells you to respond one way; the next night, a different way. Your child receives mixed messages. Over time, this inconsistency can cause more night wakings, more resistance, more tears, more power struggle, more confusion and more stress for parents without seeing any improvement that has the potential to last.
A certified and trained Sleep coach with real world experience knows how to recognize these patterns, pivot the plan, and support progress in a consistent, compassionate way.
A bot simply can’t do that.
Why Credentials Matter
When you hire a sleep coach, you’re trusting someone to guide your family through meaningful change. That’s not just about schedules, it’s about behavior, attachment, and emotional wellbeing.
I’m trained through Kim West’s Gentle Sleep Coach® Program, using methods rooted in sleep science, child development, and attachment theory. Every plan I create is individualized, evidence-based, and built around your family’s values, schedules and comfort level.
If you’re considering a “coach” who uses AI, ask:
Are they certified in pediatric sleep?
Do they offer live, human support?
Can they adjust when your child’s needs change?
Do they understand developmental stages and behavioral patterns?
If those answers aren’t clear, that’s a red flag.
Where AI Can Help (With Oversight)
AI isn’t the enemy, it’s just not the expert.
Used responsibly, it can support the coaching process by helping parents:
Track sleep logs or notice patterns
Organize notes or reminders
Reflect on progress between sessions
But AI should never replace the trained human behind the plan. Think of it like a helpful assistant—not the driver.
The Gentle Truth
Technology is powerful, but your child’s sleep journey deserves more than a one-click plan. Real progress happens when parents are supported with compassion, consistency, and context.
AI can assist, but it can’t connect.
It can process data, but it can’t notice the sparkle, or the struggle, in your child’s eyes.
So before downloading another “AI sleep coach,” remember this: lasting sleep success comes from human understanding, not automation.
Your baby’s sleep is too important to leave to a bot.
Ready to Transform Your Family’s Sleep?
At Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, I believe that sleep is a learned skill, and every child is capable of learning it—with the right guidance and support.
Whether you’re a working parent juggling deadlines or simply a family in need of rest, know this: there is always help and hope available.
If you’ve been hesitating, wondering if sleep coaching is right for you, let me reassure you: the hardest part is deciding to start. From there, with expert guidance and your dedication, the progress will come quickly. This is your chance to transform your life in a way few other things can.
Ready to take the leap? Let’s talk about how sleep coaching can create your family’s transformation. You deserve this. Your baby deserves this. And your future self will thank you.
Let’s start with an easy first step, schedule a Sleep Strategy Session so me, you and your partner can have an 1 hr long zoom session so I can properly assess the sleep situation and determine if you need one-on-one sleep coaching support.
Let’s get your baby sleeping—and get YOU your sanity back.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
Exploring Nervous System Dynamics in Sleep Coaching with Chantal Donnelly
Did you know that children under age 9 look to the parents nervous system to determine if they should be in fight, flight or freeze state?
In the realm of parenting, including when it comes to sleep coaching, understanding the intricate dance between a parent's nervous system and their child's nervous system is crucial. I recently sat down with Chantal Donnelly, a physical therapist, author of Settled and founder of Body Insight, to delve into this vital topic.
The conversation revolves around the three crucial phases of sleep coaching and how a parent's regulation impacts their child's ability to self-soothe. Chantal gives us tips and tools on regulating yourself so you can best support yourself AND your child.
Listening to the interview, Chantal will demonstrate many EASY and FAST tools to use to regulate your nervous system before interacting with your child. Below I overview a few key areas of family life when checking in with your body and nervous system can make the difference between a smooth family time and bedtime vs own of struggle and irritation.
Transitioning Home and Preparing for Bedtime
As parents transition from work life to family life, it's essential to allow themselves moments of transition. Rushing home only signals stress to the nervous system. Simple rituals like the alternating touch technique, where one sweeps their arms from shoulder to fingertips, or the butterfly hug, can help calm the nervous system before diving into bedtime routines.
Bedtime Routine and Initial Sleep Coaching
During the bedtime routine, parents often find their minds wandering, thinking about to-do lists or upcoming tasks. Mindfulness techniques, such as focusing on sensory experiences like temperature or light in the room, can ground parents in the present moment. By staying regulated during this phase, parents set the stage for successful sleep coaching.
Active Sleep Coaching
When actively engaging in sleep coaching with a frustrated or upset baby, parents must maintain their regulation. Tools like the panoramic vision technique, where one softens their gaze and takes in the entire room, can help parents stay present and calm. Entrainment breathing, matching the baby's breathing rhythm before gradually slowing down, can also facilitate co-regulation and soothe the child.
Throughout the discussion, it becomes evident that a parent's state directly influences their child's ability to self-regulate. By prioritizing their own regulation, through simple techniques and mindfulness practices, parents can create a nurturing environment conducive to healthy sleep habits.
Chantal emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, acknowledging that parenting is inherently challenging and stressful. By incorporating these tools into their daily routines, parents not only enhance their ability to support their child's development, but also cultivate resilience and calmness within themselves.
So without further ado, let's dive into the interview and uncover the secrets to unlocking the power of co-regulation with Chantal Donnelly.
In today's fast-paced world, understanding the intricate interplay between a parent's nervous system and their child's is paramount. Through insightful conversations like this one, coupled with practical tools and techniques, parents can navigate the journey of sleep coaching with confidence and compassion. As Chantal's work continues to illuminate the path to self-regulation and calmness, parents everywhere can find solace in knowing that they have the power to foster a peaceful environment for themselves and their children.
More about Chantal
Chantal Donnelly is a physical therapist and author of the Amazon best-selling book Settled: How to Find Calm in a Stress-Inducing World. She is also the owner of Body Insight, a wellness company designed to help people reconnect with their bodies and improve their health.
She combines her anatomy and physiology knowledge and experience with nervous system science to help people with chronic pain, overwhelming stress, and stress-related illnesses. Through videos, workshops, and her book, Chantal teaches body-focused tools for calming the nervous system. She believes that stress fluency can make the world a better place.
Website: https://www.bodyinsight.com/
Facebook Link https://www.facebook.com/BodyInsightInc
Instagram Link https://www.instagram.com/bodyinsightinc/
Youtube Link https://www.youtube.com/user/BodyInsight
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/chantal-donnelly-0a69157/
If you want to learn more about her book and some tools you can go to these 2 podcasts.
Better Sleep Starts With a Regulated Parent
One of the biggest misconceptions about sleep coaching is that it's only about changing a baby's behavior.
In reality, gentle sleep coaching often begins with us.
When parents understand their own nervous systems, they can respond with greater confidence, patience, and consistency. That calm presence helps children feel safe enough to develop healthy sleep skills over time.
Whether you're just beginning your sleep journey or working through a challenging phase, remember that your regulation matters—and you don't have to do it alone.
If you're looking for personalized, gentle guidance, I'd love to support your family.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Co-regulation is the process where children borrow the calm, regulated nervous system of a trusted adult. Before children develop strong self-regulation skills, they rely on parents to help them feel safe and settled.
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Research suggests babies and young children are highly responsive to their caregivers' emotional state. While stress doesn't directly "cause" sleep problems, a calm and regulated parent can create a more supportive environment for sleep.
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Nervous system regulation refers to helping the body move out of a stress response and into a calmer, more balanced state through breathing, movement, mindfulness, or sensory awareness.
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Yes. Gentle sleep coaching emphasizes responsive support while teaching independent sleep skills. Helping parents stay regulated is often an important part of the process.
Are you struggling to get your child to sleep?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
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Hello, I am Joanna with Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching. And I'm here with Chantal Donnelly, a physical therapist and author of an incredible book that I am reading and devouring called Settled, how to Find Calm in a Stress-Inducing World. And she's also the founder of a wellness company called Body Insight. Thank you Chantal, so much for being here. Thanks for having me.
Okay. So I have been reading Chantal's book and being part of her book club over the last four weeks. And I'm learning so much about what it means to self-regulate, and I think it's important for any human being to understand their nervous system, which I never understood to the level of detail that Chantal has helped me know and understand. And so I wanted to have Chantal come on today to talk about this really critical understanding of how a parent's nervous system and a baby's nervous system interact and how we can help the parent's nervous system remain calm,
centered and balanced when they're in a sleep coaching mode with their child while they're trying to improve their child's sleep. So we have a lot to discuss today, so thank you Chantal. Yeah, yeah. Super important for the parent to stay as regulated and calm as possible. And before we started recording, you were telling me about how your first three sessions of sleep coaching are the most difficult,
because that's when the baby is really frustrated with all the change that's starting to happen. I am gonna guess that even though the parent isn't conscious of it, their nervous system is also really frustrated. Even though they want their child to go to sleep, the nervous system likes the status quo. It doesn't like change. Ah, interesting. Okay. So it's gonna be the baby who doesn't like change as well as the parent.
There's a little bit of that going on even though you're not aware of it. Okay. So tell us, so explain the interaction between a parent's nervous system and a baby's nervous system. So if you have a premature baby, first of all, their calming nervous system, their parasympathetic nervous system has not completely developed yet. That happens at the very end of the third trimester.
So that's gonna, so if a baby is premature, they're gonna still be in that developmental phase. Okay. Okay. So that's number one. Yeah. That is important. Yeah. The, if you have a child who isn't premature who was born on schedule, then that child's nervous system is developed, but it's not formed its preferences yet. So it's,
it's a, it's a newborn nervous system. Right? So like anything else, it's gonna take a little while for the baby to actually understand how to self-regulate. And what happens is children under the age of nine look to the parent's nervous system to decide if they're going to be in freeze, in fight or flight or in calm. And I mean, think about it.
Have you ever seen a child be calmer than the parent? No, It doesn't happen. It can't generally, right. They can look like they're calmer, but that's usually because they're in freeze, they're in shutdown, or they're, you know, completely paralyzed by stress. That's when it looks like they're calmer than the parent. 'cause the parent might be running around like a chicken with their head cut off in,
in fight or flight and the kid is just sort of frozen, but really they're in freeze. They are not calmer than, than the parent. It's just almost impossible for that to happen. Okay? Right. So in other words, it is for us as, as parents, especially parents of young children up until age nine, it is really important for us to understand where we are standing on the spectrum of self-regulation.
And when, when a parent's doing something really new, like learning how to be a sleep coach to their child, they're coming into this experience sleep deprived, they're coming into this experience having probably already tried some attempts at sleep coaching and it's failed. So in the back of their mind, there's this big question mark, like, how can, how will this time be different?
Or a big question mark of maybe my baby's gonna be the toughest baby on the planet to learn to sleep and everyone else has been lucky but me. And then they also know that they're gonna have to go do what they think is this really hard thing and they're not sure if they really have the stamina to, to, to, to be the sleep coach.
So, you know, one of the things that happens when in those first three to four nights, which are the most important, is the, I feel like there's three stages that a parent might be in where they need to double check their regula, their own personal self-regulation. So stage one would be they've just come home from work, they're transitioning from work life to family life.
Okay. So that might be like, okay, now I'm home, we're doing family dinner, I'm helping, you know, get the babies, you know, bathed and everything. So it's kinda like, okay, how to make that transition. Then the second phase would be, alright, now I'm the sleep coach and I am with this child doing a final feed and reading books before I put them in the crib.
Am I regulated even in that what's supposed to be this relaxing, reliable bedtime routine? Am I even reg showing up regulated in that phase? And then the third phase would be, my child is now in the crib and I'm in active sleep coach mode, meaning I am there to support my child as they learn how to regulate, settle, and soothe themselves.
But in those first three to four nights, the role of the coach is to be the regulator, the child, because of what Chantal just said, that that, that they have an underdeveloped nervous system and the parent is the one that is the co-regulation. So what Chantel's gonna do today is take us through each of those three phases and talk about tools and things to consider for yourself so that you're really ready to show up being your best self when you are helping your child learn these new skills.
Yeah. There's definitely different things you can do at the, the three different stages. First thing I would wanna say is, coming into this, you wanna have as much self-compassion as you possibly can because being a parent, whether you were trying to get a child to sleep or just trying to parent on any regular day, is very difficult and very stressful.
And we, you shouldn't expect yourself to always be calm through it, all of that. Like, there are gonna be times that you're gonna be stressed as a parent, right? A hundred percent. Right. And, and not to feel like that is some kind of fa a failure or a weakness because absolutely not. It's just a normal natural way that things work.
So that's number one. And so when you're coming home from work or, or coming to that transition of coming into back into family and getting ready, you know, dinner time, bath time, whatever it is, getting ready to go into the sleeping phase, that second phase, the first thing I would say is that if you are rushing to do that,
which we often are and don't have a choice, right? 'cause our time is limited and we've gotta leave work at a certain hour and blah, blah, blah. If you are rushing your nervous system, we'll think you are under stress. Yep. So allowing yourself to slow down a little bit, particularly the closer you get to home is helpful. And then having a little bit of a transition ritual.
And it can be a 32nd ritual. It doesn't have to be a big ordeal, but just 30 seconds where maybe you're still in the car before you get out of the car to go into the house. And it's something that you can do to just let your body know that you are transitioning and that you're going into a, a more settled state right before you get with the family.
And one of those tools, there is many different tools. There can be a breathing tool, there can be something, what we call cross body alternating touch tool. You can use your eyes as a tool, you can use mindfulness as a tool. There's a whole bunch of things. What I find that really works well for transitioning is the alternating touch tool.
Yeah. Can you show us that one? Sure. There's lots of different tools there, but the one that I like to use is I just take my right hand and I place it on the top of my left shoulder, and then I just sweep my arm down towards my fingers and then I use the other side of the body left hand to right shoulder and sweep.
Yeah. And you can keep your arms on your steering wheel or wherever by your side depending on where you are. Right. And you can just do this a couple of times, 30 seconds. That's it. Right? That's all you need to do. And, and that alternating touch has been shown to calm your amygdala. Your amygdala is where there's a fear center of your,
your brain. And it has been shown to calm the fear centers of the brain. And so, you know, going into this situation where, oh my, I'm gonna have to get my child to sleep and I have to do this successfully. There's a little bit of fear there, right? And so this is just sort of calming everything down, sending a message from the body up to the brain that you are safe,
that everything's okay, and to just sort of settle that nervous system when you do it, you should feel a slowing of your breath, perhaps a deepening of your breath. You're going to feel your heart rate come down a slow down a little bit. Maybe the tension in your shoulders from your workday is gonna release a little bit tension in your jaw. Maybe your stomach might feel a little bit looser,
not so clenched. You might just feel a little more expansive, maybe a little warmer. Those are the signs that your nervous and Also sometimes saliva Increased salivation is, yeah, That's what happens to me. I take a deep breath and then I can feel an increase in saliva in my mouth. And then I know the tool's working. And what's amazing about these tools is that,
like she says, they only take like 15 to 30 seconds. I mean, I, I've been doing several of these tools frequently and usually within the first 15 seconds I can feel my breath getting deeper and more saliva in my mouth. And then I am, I know I'm taking care of myself and I'm calming my nervous system down. It's pretty powerful.
Yeah. So I love that idea of not rushing, having a little transition ritual. And maybe that transition ritual is something as simple as the side arm sweeps Yeah. Before you come back into the homestead with the family. Yeah. I love that. This is a little, little woo woo. But what I add to my little transition ritual after I do this is just sort of three little sweeps where I'm just sort of like washing the day away,
kind of like blah. Right. Just get that day the workday off of you. Yeah. And it's just sort of a, again, it's just a symbolic ritual of, okay, I'm going from work to home now. Right? And this is even true if you're, you know, coming out of your home office, right? I mean, let's not be fooled that making the transition from home office back out into family life is,
is not a transition. In fact, it can be almost a bigger transition than doing the car ride. 'cause at least in the car ride, you're like, you know, have time to think or listen to music or whatever. But sometimes just stepping out, you know, two feet into the, into the household can, can be a big change.
That's a good point. Okay. Now let's talk about kind of like there you are, you're a parent. You're like, all right, I've made the successful transition. I've helped my baby get ready for bed. And now I'm the sleep coach and I'm in my first, you know, you know, one to four days of sleep coaching and I'm nervous,
I'm scared. I hope this is gonna work. Hopefully I've got Joanna on my team as the sleep coach. But if you don't, you know, 'cause I would be coaching you on all of this to really get you really geared up. But if you're doing this on your own, then you would just be able to say, okay, so now I'm in the room with the baby.
And the thing about babies, you guys, whether they are six months old or 10 years old, whenever there's a change of pattern, there will be frustration and confusion. And when children are frustrated and confused, they will protest. It is normal human response to change. But when we are parents and we are already sleep deprived and probably a bit frazzled when we hear our babies' protest,
you know, we have that visceral response like, okay, I gotta go do something. Right? And the thing about gentle sleep coaching is there's lots you can do to settle your child, but it matters what state you're in before you go try to do that loving approach. Like picking up or the loving song or the loving pat. So this is what we're talking about.
It's like we're talking about your state in direct relationship with your baby, because their nervous system below age nine is underdeveloped. And their nervous system depends on your nervous system. So we're in the room, we're in phase two, now we're in the room, baby's in the crib, baby's had the bottle or the F of or the bedtime feed. Baby's been read to baby's in the,
in the crib at the right sleep window. So you know, you've done everything right and baby's frustrated because this is night two of coaching and baby still is waiting for mom to show up to breastfeed. And the dad starts freaking out and being like, oh my God, what can dad do? So if dad hasn't picked the baby up yet, then he can use tools with his hands to self-soothe.
So another tool that is the alternating touch tool would be the butterfly hug. So he can, what you do is you take your hands, palms facing, you cross the hands and interlock the thumbs, and then you place your hands on your chest so that your fingers are just under your collarbones. And then you're gonna tap one side of the body and then the other side.
So it's alternating touch, right? You can tap fast, you can tap slow, you can tap hard, you can tap light's totally up to you, but you just need to do this for about 30 seconds. So this is another alternating touch that's an option for a dad or a mom who's in that situation. Because as soon as you hear your,
your child cry, particularly if it's a a, a more desperate cry, your nervous system is gonna signal danger, right? So you need to tell your body to tell your brain that there is no danger, right? And so things like butterfly hug, what another thing you can do breathing wise is a long exhalation. We know that when you inhale,
your heart rate goes up a little bit and when you exhale, your heart rate goes down a little bit. So you can use that physiological phenomenon by lengthening the exhale. So you can inhale for three counts, for example, and then exhale for six counts. That's also gonna send a message up to the brain that you were not stressed. So good.
And you know, what's fascinating about this is that no one taught us this. That I am, you know, because of you and your book and your work and being a, you know, resilience toolkit facilitator, which is all about building, building resilience in the body, is this idea that what's happening in the body is sending messages to the brain.
So we think all the messages are coming from the brain, but they're actually coming from the body up to the brain. And so when we're feeling nervous or stressed or something, it's, it's all starting here, but we don't know that we think it's all happening up here. Right. Our thoughts can certainly augment it, that's for sure. Yeah. Yeah.
So, you know, maybe this is, maybe all you guys know about this already, but I, I feel like I've been having kind of an awakening in reading her book and just understanding my, my mind body connection a little bit more deliberately. Yeah. And testing these things out, like as part of her book club, she's got homework for us.
I was a little delin delinquent on my homework, but I'm gonna start doing it again. And because I know ultimately it's gonna help me, you know, that's why I wanted Chantal to come today to just help us all. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So that's where, there you are, we're in phase two. Like you're, you're, you're coaching you,
you don't have the baby in arms, right? So you are realizing, so you can do more of this, More of the arm sweeps. Yep. Can do. But butterfly hug, you can do the long exhalation. Now if those are not working, another one you can try is doing a neck massage. It's specifically your sternocleidomastoid muscle. SCM muscle goes from behind the ear and goes down to your collarbone,
right? Where your collarbone and your throat kind of meet up. So you don't have to worry that you're on the muscle specifically, but just raking from behind the ear down to the collarbone talks to the sternocleidomastoid. And that muscle is innervated by a cranial nerve that's very, very close to your vagus nerve. And your vagus nerve is your calming nervous system.
So those two nerves interconnect and can help you to regulate, I think of this muscle as sort of being a portal to the calming nervous system. And so that's something that really works for people is just massaging right behind the ear and going down to the collarbone. Sometimes just staying behind the ear and just massaging back there can be really helpful for people. Yeah.
And again, these are just gentle movements. These are not, you know, intense, you know, just, you don't have to press hard. I mean, I went, the first time I did butterfly, I was going, you know, like really fast. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, you can,
you don't have to do it slow, but you don't need to like, you know, Don't beat yourself up For the moon. You know, so, you know, like that. Right? So there, that's okay. All right. So now we're in a situation where you have the baby in arms. Yep. And the baby's not calming down.
And that's probably because you either overstimulated the baby or you're in power struggle with the baby or, and or it probably means you are still dysregulated. Yeah. I think if you, if there's a power struggle happening or the baby is feeling overstimulated, you're trying too hard and you're probably trying too hard because you are stressed, you're in fight flight, right?
So you're fighting through this, you're pushing through a little aggressively. And again, this could be very unconscious. You could be doing this and not really knowing that you're pushing too much, but you're just trying so hard. Right. And you're a little stressed about it. And so that comes across to a very new nervous system as too much. Yeah.
Right? I call it flooding. Mm. I try to explain flooding because parents seem to really resonate. Like, oh my gosh, you're right. When I went to go do that third pickup in a row, you know, me coming at the baby with my arms with my big nervous system on fire, I'm like literally flooding the baby with all of that energy and then the baby isn't calm even when I do the most loving thing,
which is to pick them up. They are not downregulating with me. And it's not because you're doing it wrong, but because you guys are, you know, your nervous systems are clashing, right? So let's talk about what you do when you're, when you have a baby in arms. So of course you can use breathing techniques 'cause you don't need your hands for that.
The other thing I really like to do is we tend to kind of look at the baby in a very sort of narrow focused, intense kind of way. And that visual mechanism is exactly what happens naturally to your eyes when you're in fight or flight, right? So if you do the opposite, which would be to open up your gaze and take in 180 degree view of what's happening in your face in the room.
And you don't even have to move your eyeballs like that Joanna, you can just literally think about, imagine you're taking in a sunset. Like think about softening your eye. Oh yeah, I see. And just letting your whole visual perspective open up. I call it panoramic vision, Right? So you're just taking everything in and just that will kind of trigger your brain to go,
oh, we're not in a stress state. It's when we're in that really intense focused state that things can kind of go awry because our brain can get a little confused by the information coming in from our eyes when it's that focused and narrow our vision. You know? And that's why I wouldn't recommend a parent prior to picking up the baby if they are trying to soothe themselves to look at their phone,
right? Like scrolling on social media is not gonna help you downregulate. Not just because of the content on social media, because that's one of the reasons, right? But the other reason is that your eyes are going into focus mode and we don't want that. We want your eyes to stay soft and opened and to take in 180 degree view. Wow.
Yeah. So that one's really powerful, right? Because I often say to families like, don't stare your baby straight in the eyes because they will actually get matter. But it kind of makes sense because if, if you are dysregulated and you're looking at your baby and they're looking at you like you guys kind of get locked into that. Whereas if you pick up your baby and you're maybe,
you know, taking in kind of the panoramic view and then you're breathing 'cause you're trying to co-regulate, right? So three breaths in and then six counts out, you know, then you're now co-regulating with your child in arms and we all know what this looks like, right? So the analogy I always give is, you know, if your baby, if your child or baby falls on the ground and bumps their head,
they're gonna be crying. You're absolutely gonna be picking them up. And usually when you pick them up, they're still crying in arms. And when they're in your arms calming down after bumping their head, they are co-regulating with you. They are crying in arms is fine. Like it is a, is a, a safe place to be to co-regulate. And as they calm they're still crying but they're getting,
you know, less and less and less until they're at a whimper and then they recover. That is fine. That's kind of what we're looking like co-regulation. That's what we want to see. We wanna see this coming down both for the child and for the parent. And then when the child's calm you can put them back in the crib, right? Yeah.
One thing you can do is what's called entrainment breathing, which can be kind of fun to play with with a child. Entrainment breathing is when you, if you are breathing is calm, but the person you're with, in this case the baby is not, you match their staccato irregular breath for just two, three seconds and then you start to slow your breath down.
Oh Wow. And that kind of helps them so they're on the same rhythm with you 'cause you've matched the way that they're breathing and then you start to slow your breathing down to a calmer pace and then they can kind of follow suit. And that can be really effective in that situation where you're holding your child That I can see how that could work really beautifully.
That's a very powerful tool. So as you can see everybody that you know there, there are these three zones you're going to inevitably be in when you're in sleep coaching mode. And each zone is an an opportunity for you to regulate yourself. And when you do that, you are literally helping your child's regulation system mature because you're showing them what like is is,
could I say the word right? Regulation looks like what? What is that you're Co-regulating with them so they're able to sort of match your tune if you will. And yeah, you're helping them learn how to regulate by showing them what a regulated nervous system looks like. Calm is contagious, right? So they're gonna pick up on that. There's a little bit of mirroring that happens.
So they're learning from from what you're doing, but it's also just that they don't know what to do and they're just gonna follow suit. They trust you, they're gonna follow suit with where you're at. If you feel safe and you show that through a regulated nervous system, then they will feel safe. If you are feeling, oh my gosh, this isn't working and I wanna get to my glass of wine and go to bed myself.
And so you start to upregulate a little bit, it's gonna be really hard to get your child to downregulate or to soothe. Right? Right. I wanted to see too in that second zone, 'cause we didn't really touch on that Joanna the second zone when you're reading the book and it, right. Am I correct on that's the second zone. It's the reading and the prepping for bed and everything.
You know, you might have your mind wander and you're thinking about your to-do list and you're thinking about, you know, is this gonna work? Or when do I get my downtime 'cause I'm really tired. Like all of that stuff that really happens naturally as parents. That's when mindfulness can really be helpful during that phase. Or you can focus on what you're hearing in the room or the,
the temperature of the room or the light in the room and all those little things that you can focus on to bring you into the present moment and to keep you grounded that way. 'cause otherwise if, if you're thinking about all that stuff, then you're not gonna be settled as you go into the the third zone. Right. Right. That, thank you so much.
I, I realize I skipped, I skipped a zone, but I'll on that note about you know, trying to detach yourself from like your to-do list. The other thing I often say is like, don't be thinking about the other caregiver outside the room. So for example, if dad is a sleep coach and mom's outside the room and you're afraid that you're gonna be judged Or she might be watching you on the monitor or she hears a cry,
she's gonna think you're doing it wrong. Like all of that happens right now when I'm working with clients, I like really help build a united front so that there's agreements made between partners about how mom is not to interrupt. Mom is, you know, not gonna text him because dad really does need to be really emotionally present because he's there to pay exquisite attention to his child.
Like that's really what's happening when you're really doing gentle sleep coaching. The parent is very emotionally present and is paying exquisite attention to their child and being very loving and very attentive. And in order to be that way, they have to be in the moment. And I always say to them, if you find yourself popping out, you know, thinking about that work project,
thinking about maybe you know, someone watching you on the monitor in that moment you pop out guarantee that baby's gonna start crying more. Yeah. Guarantee your nervous system isn't settled too, right? Yeah. And the, and the parent, the dad will say, God, you were so right. I found myself getting a little distracted and was thinking about some work deadline and that baby w that was literally about to fall asleep,
ramped up and was all like ding, you know? And I said, yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty remarkable what happens. Which is why, you know, I wanted Chantal to come today to talk to us more about how to stay properly regulated because ultimately it will make the sleep coaching process go way better and you will walk away with more tools that you can use outside of your sleep coaching environment.
Like I said, I'm in Chantal's book club for settled and I'm learning all these tools that I can use throughout my day, what I can do before a meal, what I can do between client calls, you know, all of that to stay really balanced and centered and calm so that I can be the best coach I can be and also the best human I can be.
You know, not to be upregulated all the time. So this has been so valuable, Chantal, thank you so much. Can you tell everybody more like how to find your book, how to find you, what, what other services are you offering these days if people wanna learn more about their nervous system? Sure. I have a company called Body Insight so if people go to body insight.com,
they can find out how to contact me, they can find out about my upcoming workshops. There I am on Instagram and Facebook at Body Insight Inc. Okay. And you can get my book settled, how to Find Calm in a Stress Inducing World that's available pretty much online where, where books are sold and what else? Hoping to have some workshops coming up soon.
I know I have an in-person one in Pasadena coming up in October. Okay, good. And she does, she does one-on-one coaching too. So if you want to say come to Chantal and be like, okay, these are all the things that are going on with me. Give me some customized tools and protocols that will help me. You do, you do one-on-one coaching in that way,
which I think is really valuable because if you want to get right to the heart of things, if you don't have time to read the book or time to do the workshop, but you want direct help, Chantelle is available for one-on-one coaching as well. So I will make sure that in the show notes all of that contact information is available. But I,
I do highly, in fact, can you hold up the book? Do you have the book read? I do. Mine's upstairs by my bedside, so there we go. That's the book. So I do recommend this and then, but her Instagram is awesome because she's constantly demo demonstrating tools on, so if you're more of a visual learner, the Instagram is a great place to go.
So thank you so much Chantelle, for helping us to, to learn more about her nervous system. Yeah, thanks for having me. I hope it helped. Yes.
Fall Daylight Saving Time: How to Help Your Baby Adjust to the Time Change
The end of Daylight Saving Time can feel like a gift for adults—but for babies and toddlers, that one-hour shift can throw off sleep schedules, naps, meals, and early morning wake-ups.
If you're wondering how to help your baby adjust to the fall time change, you're not alone.
The good news? With a little planning, most children can transition smoothly.
Whether your baby is an early riser, taking multiple naps, or already sleeping independently, these gentle strategies can help your family adjust with less stress.
Why Does the Time Change Affect Children?
Children thrive on predictable rhythms.
Although the clock changes overnight, their internal body clock doesn't.
That means a child who normally wakes at 6:30 a.m. may suddenly start waking at 5:30 a.m.
Fortunately, exposure to morning light, consistent meal times, naps, and bedtime routines all help reset the body's circadian rhythm.
When Is Daylight Savings
Sunday, November 1, 2026
Understanding the Impact of Daylight Saving Time on Your Child
Daylight Saving Time affects everyone's internal body clock, including your child's. Young children are especially sensitive to changes in routine and sleep patterns, so it's essential to prepare for the upcoming shift. Here's how DST can impact your child's sleep:
1. Sleep Schedule Disruption: The time change can lead to temporary confusion for your child's internal clock, which may result in changes in their sleep schedule. This could manifest as early wake-ups or difficulty falling asleep at bedtime.
2. Circadian Rhythm Adjustment: Your child's circadian rhythm, the internal clock that regulates sleep and wake cycles, may take a few days to adjust to the new time. During this period, you might notice changes in their behavior, energy levels, and mood.
3. Naptime Challenges: Daylight Saving Time can also affect your child's daytime naps. If your child is used to napping at specific times, you may need to adjust their nap schedule to accommodate the time change.
Watch My Fall Time Change Tips Video
Tips for a Smooth Transition
Now that you understand the potential challenges, let's explore some gentle sleep coaching strategies to help your child adapt to the fall time change:
1. Gradual Adjustments: Begin making minor adjustments to your child's sleep schedule a few days before the time change. Shift bedtime and wake-up times FORWARD by 15 minutes every day until you've reached the new schedule.
For example, let's pretend your child's normal bedtime is 7:00pm. Shift their bedtime 15 minutes LATER each day. Here is what the change would look like over a 4 day period. It is important to shifts naps and meals by the same 15 minute increments.
Wednesday 7:15pm
Thursday 7:30 pm
Friday 7:45 pm
Saturday 8:00pm
Sunday is FALL BACK DAY TO 7:00 pm (This will be the time after the time change)
2. Maintain a Consistent Routine: Stick to your child's usual bedtime routine to provide a sense of security and predictability. Consistency is key during transitions.
3. Optimize the Sleep Environment: Ensure that your child's sleep environment is conducive to rest. Dim the lights in the evening and keep the bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.
4. Natural Light Exposure: Encourage natural light exposure during the day, especially in the morning before 10AM. Daylight helps regulate your child's internal clock.
5. Darkness: Do not expose them to light or food before 6am to avoid cementing early rising behavior. Click here to read my blog on early rising.
5. Be Patient: Understand that it may take a few days or even a week for your child to fully adjust to the new schedule. Be patient and provide comfort as needed during this transition.
6. Know your child’s daily sleep requirements. Children go through many stages of development and with that their daytime sleep goals change and same with night time sleep goals. The Fall Time change is a good time to re-evaluate your child’s age and stage sleep goals. Download the Free Guide: How Much Sleep Does My Child Need?
7. Offer Comfort and Reassurance: If your child has difficulty falling asleep or wakes up earlier than usual, offer comfort and reassurance. Gentle sleep coaching techniques can help them learn to self-soothe and adjust to the changes.
Daylight Saving Time can pose challenges for families, but with the right approach and a gentle touch, you can ensure a smooth transition for your child. If you'd like personalized guidance or have specific questions about helping your child adapt to the time change, don't hesitate to reach out to me. Here's to a restful and rejuvenating fall as we turn the clocks back and embrace the cozy season ahead.
I AM OFFERING FALL SLEEP TUNE UP SESSIONS IF THIS TIME CHANGE CAUSES HAVOC IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD
DO YOU WANT EXPERT SLEEP ADVICE FOR YOUR UNIQUE SITUATION? Please complete this intake form and I will be in touch within 24 hrs to send you the links to schedule ($150 for 30 min)
Frequently Asked Questions
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Most babies adjust within three to seven days. Some adapt almost immediately, while others—especially sensitive sleepers—may need up to two weeks.
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Many families find success shifting bedtime by 10–15 minutes each day during the week leading up to the time change. Others prefer making the adjustment all at once. The best approach depends on your child's temperament and sleep habits.
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Your baby's internal body clock hasn't adjusted to the new time yet. Morning light, consistent routines, and patience can help move wake-up time later over several days.
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Yes. Because naps are linked to your baby's circadian rhythm and sleep pressure, they may temporarily shift after the time change. Maintaining a consistent routine helps babies adjust more quickly.
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Not usually. While there may be a few days of adjustment, most babies settle into the new schedule with consistent routines and age-appropriate wake windows.
Are you struggling with your child's sleep?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Wishing your family peaceful nights and joyful mornings in the midst of this seasonal change.
The Difference Between Sleep Training and Sleep Coaching
Revelations From A Mother… who loved her sleep coaching experience.
Please know there is a BIG difference between SLEEP TRAINING and SLEEP COACHING!
The entire process of Gentle Sleep Coaching is about an evidence based, proven system to promote a gentle, reassuring, gradual change that results in healthy sleep habits.
Going to sleep independently and peacefully—and staying asleep—is a learned skill. As parents, we sometimes assume that sleeping is a developmental milestone that comes naturally, yet healthy sleep habits are a learned skill. Like any skill, its mastery requires coaching, practice and time. We parents are coaches in countless ways every day, so it is perfectly appropriate to gently and safely coach your child on this skill, too. In teaching it, you give a lifelong gift to your child.
Sleep Coaching is NOT “this terrible awful thing.”
In fact, it is one of the most important and supportive actions you can provide to your child.
Below are some important reflections and revelations from a mother that successfully sleep coached her 18 month old daughter. She shares about overcoming the “sleep coaching bias” and judgments in “the mommy world”
“I was one of the moms that would never let my baby cry. If she hated being held by someone (and in my case, it was anyone besides me), I would take her back right away. I quit my job to be with her, I would do anything for her. I read all the books, and I mean all of them. I was active in a huge moms group and frequented parenting websites.
I started to notice that there were different camps when it came to sleep. It felt very binary- either you let your child cry to sleep and ignored them all night no matter what happened, or you tended to every peep your child made and woke up 3 times a night til they went to kindergarten. I think this is a shame, and Joanna was a nice middle ground in a confusing sleep training world.
I started to learn and understand that change is inevitable, uncomfortable, and good. And children are constantly changing. My daughter might not like riding in a car seat, going to the doctor, learning to sleep, going to school, or being cared for by anyone except mommy, and she may cry because of these transitions. There is no way to avoid some discomfort, and sometimes short term discomfort is okay. Short term stress actually helps brain development. There is a big difference between a child being mad (“I don’t want to put myself to sleep! I want to breastfeed to sleep!”) and traumatized. I had to become comfortable with the fact that my child may be mad sometimes at necessary change, and that may lead to some crying. It was so obvious from the first day that my extremely sensitive daughter was not being traumatized by being taught to sleep, and I frankly resent that there was a huge group of people that pushed that message.
Not to say it wasn’t extremely hard. I had to leave the house. Even Joanna’s gentle methods were hard for me to handle, I had never done something my daughter didn’t like. I was so worried. But with a few weeks my daughter who used to wake up 5 times a night started sleeping 11 hours a night, and has never had issues since. She is growing better, she was in the 5th percentile for height and is now in the 75th. Her attitude is 100% better. My attitude is 100% better. And I came to realize my anxiety about her discomfort had been in the way of my daughter being as healthy and happy as she could be”
-Kate C. Austin, TX. Child was 18 months at time of guilt-free, gentle sleep coaching
Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.
I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.
There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"
I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching
Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.
With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,
I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.
I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.
That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.
Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.
Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)
Good News!! The Evidence Is Confirmed: Sleep Coaching Is Safe and Restores Harmony to the Household
Got Kids? Need Sleep?: Evidence Proves Sleep Coaching Is Safe.....Its Time To Make Sleep A Priority for All Family Members.
All evidence is now confirming that all sleep coaching methods and interventions work to improve sleep. The studies have validated that there are no concerning levels of stress and cortisol. The studies have also confirmed that there are no negative long-term outcomes. This is great news because it now gives parents freedom to choose the RIGHT METHODOLOGY FOR THEIR PARENTING STYLE AND VALUES. I personally prefer Gentle Sleep Coaching, which is also known as the Sleep Lady Shuffle or also known as Fading. Gentle Sleep Coaching is a proven methodology that offers parents the opportunity to be in the room with their child while offering verbal and physical assurances. Gentle Sleep Coaching has been proven to minimize tears and frustration. Gentle Sleep Coaching provides substantial Parent Education and insight into the temperament of their child and how that relates to sleep. Peaceful Nights are Possible with the expertise of Joanna Clark of Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, a trained and certified Gentle Sleep Coach. Below is an article form Aaron Carrroll, Professor of Pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine that further explains the different sleep training methodologies and options.
Putting Your Baby to Sleep: Some Advice and Good News
Aaron E. Carroll is a professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine who blogs on health research.
For many new parents, a baby who sleeps peacefully through the night is more aspiration than reality.
I remember thinking, after my pregnant wife’s water broke minutes after I went to bed, anguishing really, over one thought as we drove to the hospital: “I’m never going to be well rested again.”
If there’s one thing all new parents wish for, it’s a good night’s sleep.
Unfortunately, infants sometimes make that impossible. They wake up repeatedly, needing to be fed, changed and comforted. Eventually, they reach an age when they should sleep through the night. Some don’t, though. What to do with them continues to be a topic of a heated debate in parenting circles.
One camp believes that babies should be left to cry it out. These people place babies in their cribs at a certain time, after a certain routine, and don’t interfere until the next morning. No matter how much the babies scream or cry, parents ignore them. After all, if babies learn that tantrums lead to the appearance of a loved one, they will continue that behavior in the future. The official name for this approach is “Extinction.”
The downside, of course, is that it’s unbelievably stressful for parents. Many can’t do it. And not holding fast to the plan can make everything worse. Responding to an infant’s crying after an extended period of time makes the behavior harder to extinguish. To a baby, it’s like a slot machine that hits just as you’re ready to walk away; it makes you want to play more.
A modification of this strategy is known as “Graduated Extinction.” Parents allow their infant to cry it out for a longer period each night, until infants eventually put themselves to sleep. On the first night, for instance, parents might commit to not entering the baby’s room for five minutes. The next night, 10 minutes. Then 15, and so on. Or, they could increase the increments on progressive checks each night. When they do go in the room, it’s only to check and make sure the baby is O.K. — no picking up or comforting. This isn’t meant to be a reward for crying, but to allow parents to be assured that nothing is wrong
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Another choice is “Bedtime Fading.” The point of this plan is to teach your children how to fall asleep on their own at bedtime, in the hope that if they develop this skill, when they wake up in the middle of the night they’ll choose to employ it rather than call for you. With fading, you temporarily set bedtime later than usual and preface it with a good bedtime routine. Your babies learn that bedtime is fun, and have little trouble falling asleep because they’re more tired than usual. Then you move their bedtime earlier and earlier, so that infants learn how to put themselves to sleep when they are less and less tired.
A fourth method is “Scheduled Awakenings.” In this method, a parent tries to disrupt spontaneous awakening by getting up in the middle of the night to wake children 15 to 30 minutes before they usually wake up on their own. They then help the baby fall back asleep. The scheduled awakenings are later phased out.
Of course, even with fading and scheduled awakenings, it’s possible that your baby will wake up in the middle of the night, screaming. Then you face a choice: Go to them or wait it out?
Some people always choose to comfort the child. They think that making a baby cry it out is inhumane and could even lead to psychological problems. Others feel that giving in to babies prevents them from learning needed skills and leads to later problems.
A final thing doctors can do is “Parental Education,” which is closer to prevention. It involves talking to parents about many of these options, especially training infants to fall asleep on their own, before problems develop.
As a pediatrician, the first thing I do with parents who are experiencing problems is calm them down. Sometimes it feels as if it will never go away, but I try to remind them that few teenagers have this issue. They go to bed fine, and if they wake up in the middle of the night, they go back to sleep without anyone’s help. This almost always, eventually, gets better.
On the other hand, I don’t want to minimize the short-term problems for parents. Nor do I want to do nothing. Sleep deprivation leads to significant and serious consequences in adults. A 2008 study published in Pediatrics found that mothers of infants with sleep problems, in which no intervention was tried, were more likely to report symptoms of clinical depression when their child was 2 years old. Sleep problems also lead to significant parental stress, and, potentially, physicalpunishment.
The good news is that almost all interventions work. In 2006, a systematic review was published in the journal Sleep that examined all the relevant research on the efficacy of these interventions. Ninety-four percent of the 52 reviewed studies found that the interventions led to improved sleep, and more than 80 percent of children who were treated improved significantly.
The strongest evidence supported the extinction method and parent education (i.e., prevention). Still, there was evidence that also supported the graduated extinction, fading and scheduled awakenings methods.
People become surprisingly heated about which method to use. This isn’t just because they think one works better than the other, but also because they think some are harmful. They worry about the long-term effects of some methods. Those concerns may be overblown, though. A small study published recently followed children who were randomly sorted to use graduated extinction, fading or parent education. Besides looking at the effectiveness of the intervention on sleep, researchers measured the cortisol hormone in infants’ saliva (as a measure of stress) as well as mothers’ moods and stress.
Again, all of the interventions worked to improve sleep. More important, none caused any concerning levels of stress. This confirmed the findings of two previous studies that found that infant sleep problems, and the interventions used to remedy them, do not predict long-term outcomes, even at 6 years of age.
Parents become stressed about infants who don’t sleep well. That’s understandable. What they don’t need to stress about is that fixing it will cause more harm or have long-term negative consequences. A good night’s sleep makes almost everything better.
Aaron E. Carroll is a professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine who blogs on health research and policy at The Incidental Economist and makes videos at Healthcare Triage. Follow him on Twitter at @aaronecarroll.
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