A Sleep Deprived Mother’s Tale: Breaking the Baby Sleep Stigma

I am on a mission to ensure that no parent endures the pain of exhaustion, overwhelm, and relentless questioning of their value and self-worth when they have a child that consistently does sleep well.

I help parents tenderly and gently teach their children the “skills of sleep” so that their child has lifelong sleep habits, which results in a family system where ALL family members enjoy a full and well-rested life.

Below is an important and inspiring recounting of sleep deprived mother’s journey from overwhelm and self-doubt to feeling confident and balanced.

She is now living a well-rested life and reconnecting to her family vision.

With proper sleep, families can enjoy the keys to life: health, harmony, and vitality.

A Sleep Deprived Mother’s Tale: Breaking the Baby Sleep Stigma

A True Story By Kathleen Poorman

Her daughter was 19 months at time of Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

You’re texting one of your mommy friends and she suddenly asks “How’s your 6 month old doing with sleep?  Is she sleeping through the night yet?”  Your mind flashes back to the hour you spent walking and bouncing her last night, just like every night, pleading with her to please just go to sleep.  You remember how heavy her body gets after 5 minutes in.  You think about the list of things waiting for you when she’s finally asleep: the laundry, the dishes you haven’t done in days, the shower you never got this morning.  Forget the things you want to do.  This is sleep deprived survival mode.  

Your fingers hover over the phone, your mind racing to come up with something positive to say.  You don’t want to look bad. You can’t admit you truly don’t know what to do to help your child sleep better. You’re her mom, your mother’s intuition should be on this by now, right?  So you text back “She’s doing pretty well.  Still learning how to fall asleep but I’m sure she’ll figure it out soon!” 

There.  That should keep her from asking again for a couple weeks.  You hit send and let the mommy guilt wash over you like the hot shower you never got. 

This is the full weight of the baby sleep stigma we hold over ourselves invisibly.  We feel trapped by what others will think of us if they knew the full truth.  But what if we told each other the truth, and put the stigma to rest for good?  What if by doing this, we could spread the knowledge of how to help each other, and we ALL SLEPT?  

Let me be the first to rip the cover off the baby sleep stigma.  Let me tell you my story.

Our child was never what we would call a good sleeper, and I was a sleep deprived mother.  Not knowing what to do, I Googled ways to DIY our own solution, but came away more confused than ever.  We stumbled our way into a mess of “sleep crutches”, or things that a child requires you to do for them before they can fall asleep.  We kept adding new ones over time, thinking they’d be the final fix to help her sleep through the night. 

At 16 months of age, she had a whopping 7 sleep crutches.  She’d become the proud owner of our guest mattress (on the floor of her room) because she wouldn’t fall asleep without me beside her, and was too heavy to move into a crib once asleep.  She’d ninja kick, roll around, and pull escape acts repeatedly.  It wasn’t uncommon for this routine to take over an hour before I could try to sneak out of her room.  Bonus points if she didn’t wake up!  Four hours later, she’d be up again, crying for me.  When my husband tried to help her, she’d scream for me until she threw up.  I’d spend the rest of my night on her mattress in impossibly uncomfortable positions.  It was infuriating chaos.

After several months of getting little to no sleep this way, I finally lost it.  I hadn’t had a solid 8 hours of sleep since before the “squished bladder” stage of pregnancy.  I told my husband something had to change or I was sleeping somewhere else.  Taking the first real step towards sanity, I did what seemed unthinkable.  I asked for help. 

I called a professional sleep coach named Joanna Clark (owner of Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching) who taught my husband and I what we didn’t know about sleep.  She listened to our story, taught us the science behind our daughter’s sleep needs, and created a plan with us that we carried out with her continual guidance.  We did weeks of pre-work to set the stage and then devoted time each day to sleep training.  We were consistent and made it the main priority for that month.  It took lots of hard work, but almost anything worth having does. 

We were stunned when our sleepless child became a “good sleeper” in a matter of days.  To compare, her bedtime now includes reading 2 books, laying her in her crib, saying goodnight, and closing her door behind us.  Either my husband or I can do this routine.  She falls asleep on her own quietly and sleeps a solid 11-12 hours each night.  It is a true night and day difference.

We had been missing two things: A solid education on a baby’s sleep, and the guts to ask for help.

It was really hard calling Joanna and admitting that I didn’t know what to do with my own child.  I was afraid of being judged by others for needing help.  I also wondered “How could a complete stranger know my child’s needs better than my intuition?”

It took asking for help to realize that sometimes, asking for help is what your mother’s intuition is telling you to do.  It’s starved for knowledge until you give it something to run on. 

Once I finally slept and regained brain cells I’d done without for 2 years, I realized I was mad.  Why didn’t I know to do this sooner?   Where was this information in the pregnancy books or in my midwives’ handouts?  And even worse, why did I feel like the only one struggling in the first place?

We got brave and decided that it was time to share our whole story with everyone who’d listen.  The more we shared, the more we realized how many people are struggling with the same problems.  We heard repeatedly “Our grandson doesn’t sleep through the night and he’s 5!”  Or “They spend hours trying to get their kids to sleep!”  Oddly enough, the truth came mostly from grandparents or relatives, hardly ever from the parents themselves.  And no one knew what to offer them for help.

Maybe, just maybe, we don’t know what to do because we don’t talk about it. 

Imagine how my story could have changed if I had said to my friend via text “You know, she’s not sleeping well at all.  I just don’t know what to do to help her.”  What if she had been in the same boat before, and had asked for help and gotten it, and now knew to pass it on to me?  What would it be like if we truly believed it was ok to not know it all on our own? 

I’d love for every sleep deprived parent to find out.

And so, I am prying away the talons of baby sleep stigma by sharing my story with you.  I am shouting it from the rooftops that IT IS OK TO NOT KNOW!  I am unapologetically saying that I, a mother, needed baby sleep help and asked for it.  And I’m begging you, if this is you as well, to step out from the shadows of self-shame, ask for help, and pass along the torch.  It’s up to us to offer honesty and gain so much in return. 

We may all sleep better for it. 

Kathleen Poorman, Jasper, GA. Her Daughter was 19 months at time of sleep coaching.  

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Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

The Difference Between Sleep Training and Sleep Coaching

Please know there is a BIG difference between SLEEP TRAINING and SLEEP COACHING!

The entire process of Gentle Sleep Coaching is about an evidence based, proven system to promote a gentle, reassuring, gradual change that results in healthy sleep habits.

Going to sleep independently and peacefully—and staying asleep—is a learned skill. As parents, we sometimes assume that sleeping is a developmental milestone that comes naturally, yet healthy sleep habits are a learned skill.  Like any skill, its mastery requires coaching, practice and time. We parents are coaches in countless ways every day, so it is perfectly appropriate to gently and safely coach your child on this skill, too. In teaching it, you give a lifelong gift to your child.

Sleep Coaching is NOT “this terrible awful thing.”

In fact, it is one of the most important and supportive actions you can provide to your child.

Below are some important reflections and revelations from a mother that successfully sleep coached her 18 month old daughter. She shares about overcoming the “sleep coaching bias” and judgments in “the mommy world”

“I was one of the moms that would never let my baby cry. If she hated being held by someone (and in my case, it was anyone besides me), I would take her back right away. I quit my job to be with her, I would do anything for her. I read all the books, and I mean all of them. I was active in a huge moms group and frequented parenting websites. 

I started to notice that there were different camps when it came to sleep. It felt very binary- either you let your child cry to sleep and ignored them all night no matter what happened, or you tended to every peep your child made and woke up 3 times a night til they went to kindergarten. I think this is a shame, and Joanna was a nice middle ground in a confusing sleep training world. 

I started to learn and understand that change is inevitable, uncomfortable, and good. And children are constantly changing.  My daughter might not like riding in a car seat, going to the doctor, learning to sleep, going to school, or being cared for by anyone except mommy, and she may cry because of these transitions. There is no way to avoid some discomfort, and sometimes short term discomfort is okay. Short term stress actually helps brain development. There is a big difference between a child being mad (“I don’t want to put myself to sleep! I want to breastfeed to sleep!”) and traumatized. I had to become comfortable with the fact that my child may be mad sometimes at necessary change, and that may lead to some crying. It was so obvious from the first day that my extremely sensitive daughter was not being traumatized by being taught to sleep, and I frankly resent that there was a huge group of people that pushed that message.

Not to say it wasn’t extremely hard. I had to leave the house. Even Joanna’s gentle methods were hard for me to handle, I had never done something my daughter didn’t like. I was so worried. But with a few weeks my daughter who used to wake up 5 times a night started sleeping 11 hours a night, and has never had issues since. She is growing better, she was in the 5th percentile for height and is now in the 75th. Her attitude is 100% better. My attitude is 100% better. And I came to realize my anxiety about her discomfort had been in the way of my daughter being as healthy and happy as she could be”

-Kate C. Austin, TX. Child was 18 months at time of guilt-free, gentle sleep coaching

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Helpful Tips to To Manage The Fall Time Change 2018 for babies, toddlers and children

The Fall 2018 time change is on November 4, 2018. If you have a baby, toddler or child, you will want to watch this video for some tips and tricks to be prepared for the time change.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl_oZ-v9Pag&w=560&h=315]

Get ready! The end of daylight-saving time will fall on Sunday. Nov. 4, 2018 in the United States and Canada. We will “fall back” by setting our clocks back an hour.

The good news is that you will get a “bonus hour” of overall sleep and a “bonus hour” of light in the morning, so waking up will definitely be easier.  In the evening, it will be darker one hour earlier, so often the day feels really short. You will find yourself wanting to “get cozy” and you and the kids will likely get drowsy earlier—and therefore bedtime will hopefully be easier.

To get ready, see my video above to learn strategies for the fall time change for children 6 months-5 yrs of age. Please know it can take up to 2 weeks for a child to make the transition to the new time change, so be patient and mindful of your child’s sleepy cues.

Be proactive and begin making changes to your routine 3-7 days prior to the time change for children 6mo.-6yrs

Making incremental changes prior to November 4th is best for children that tend to be early risers or children that tend to be sensitive to schedule changes. These children usually benefit from gradually changing their schedule on the days leading up to the time change. 

How Make Incremental changes:

• Start putting your child to bed 10-15 minutes later than his or her normal naptime or bedtime and of course, make similar changes to the nap schedule and meal schedule. 

• Every other day/night, try to “bump up” naptime/bedtime by 10-15 minutes. Do this until the night of the time change.

• The goal is to complete shifting your child’s bedtime schedule up by an hour by the time the clock changes.  For example: your child’s normal nap time is 8:45am, bump it to 9am and do this for 2 days and then, bump to 9:15am for 2 days and so on. If you would rather “work” the bedtime angle than if bedtime is normally 7pm. During the days leading up to the time change, push bedtime to 7:15, 7:30, 7:45, 8pm…then when the time change happens, the 8pm bedtime will “FALL BACK” to 7pm and your child will already be in the mode for the new bedtime.

• If you try this method and your child starts waking before 6am, then STOP and go back to your old schedule. You will need to adjust to new time change in the “Just in time” method.

If you don’t have the time or inclination to plan ahead, then you can simply respond to your child’s needs once the time change has happened on November 4, 2018.

This means that all naps, meals and bedtime will automatically switch to the new time. This might also mean your child may wake earlier in the morning for the first week or so, but soon things will normalize.

Use the “Just in Time” option: Sync with new clock times on November 4, 2018.

• If your child starts to wake before 6am, (which is considered early rising) than it is imperative that you attend to this early rising or else it will persist.

• If you experience early rising, go to your child’s room, remind him or her it is still time for sleeping and try to soothe him or her back to sleep. (can use a tot clock for children 2.5 yrs of age and older)

• If the child does not go back to sleep, then use this strategy to make it “morning:” keep the room dark until 6am, then exit the room for 10-20 seconds, then re-enter the room and turn on the lights and open shades and then get your child out of bed. 

• In this way, you will not be reinforcing early rising and eventually your child’s circadian rhythm will get back on track. If you have ongoing issues with early rising after 10-14 days after the time change, then I highly recommend reading my post on early rising.

• In either case, it is important for children to get their daily dose of Vitamin D with morning light exposure. Turn on the lights, open your shades and, most importantly, try to give your child morning sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes a day during that first 7-10 days of the time change. This will help to reset your child’s circadian rhythm.

It’s also important to protect your sleep! Here are my time change tips for adults:

• Since you are gaining an hour of sleep, it is often easier just to go to sleep at your normal time on Saturday night and then allow yourself to sleep in on Sunday morning. Then for the first couple of days, please know that your body will be busy regulating to the new time change, so light exposure in the morning will really help your body adjust.

• Like jet lag, time changes take about a week to resolve and so it is wise to be patient and try to adhere to a flexible schedule and you will begin to see it all normalize. Happy Fall!!

  Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,
I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.
That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching Recognized as Pediatric Sleep Expert

Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching is proud to be recognized as a Pediatric Sleep Expert in the Healthy Living section of Gate House Media. Joanna Clark was interviewed by a top journalist. Joanna's knowledge and her perspective on guilt free, gentle sleep coaching has reached more than 23 million readers in 37 states.

Read the article here!

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Meet Angelina: A Pregnant "Mama on a Mission" who found the solution to her 1st child's sleep issues!

This is an empowering success story from a pregnant "Mama on a Mission" who is now enjoying calm bedtimes and solid sleep for her first child before expecting her 2nd baby!

Meet Angelina,  a working mother who was expecting her 2nd child and was worried that her first child's sleep was not on track. The bedtime drama and struggles and lack of sleep was starting to affect the whole family and especially her own energy levels. This mom needed her sleep to have a healthy pregnancy and keep up with the demands of her profession.

After working with Joanna at Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, now her whole family is sleeping beautifully. Everyone feels grounded and well-rested and ready to welcome their 2nd child!

Watch this video testimonial below on Angelina's detailed account on her guilt-free, gentle sleep coaching journey.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGJggocziU0&w=460&h=315]

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,
I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.
That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Mothers are Amazing and Astounding Human Beings!

Happy Mother's Day 2018!  As a pediatric sleep consultant, I work with mothers on a daily basis. I can in constant awe at a mother's ability to conjure bravery, wit, resourcefulness, resilience, kindness, compassion and generosity-of-heart even when extremely sleep-deprived.

On a daily basis, mothers pour their talents, their love, and their energy into the job of mothering and parenting. So On Mother's Day 2018, I honor you.  Please stop to offer yourself some well-deserved recognition. Please consider how many wonderful things you do for your family and your community on a daily basis.  Please take a moment to relish in the fact that you and all mothers are astounding and totally amazing human beings! 

Cheers!!! Happy Mother's Day!

This gem of a piece written with clever wit and honesty is worth the read. It was written by Kimberly Harrington (@honeystaysuper) is the author of “Amateur Hour: Motherhood in Essays and Swear Words,” from which this essay is excerpted

Posted in New York Times on April 27, 2018 https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/27/opinion/sunday/motherhood-job-description.html

Job Description for the Dumbest Job Ever

By Kimberly Harrington Ms. Harrington is a writer and mother in Vermont.

TITLE: Mother.

SUMMARY: This position manages to be of the utmost importance and yet somehow also the least visible and/or respected in the entire organization. You will enjoy a whole bunch of superficial attention and lip service from culture, advertisers and politicians, but will never receive a credible follow-up in the form of a concrete plan for advancement, support, benefits or retirement.

Please note: Although you will coordinate, plan and do almost everything, you should expect to crash face-first into bed every night feeling that you’ve accomplished basically nothing. Welcome!

KEY RESPONSIBILITIES: You will be responsible for literally everything, including but not limited to:

• Keeping co-workers alive.

• Related to the above, supervision of all possible hazards, including: electrical currents; water in all forms (baths, sheets of ice, swimming pools, Slip ‘N Slides, lakes, dodgy sprinklers, igloos); table corners; dogs that have food-sharing issues; uncut grapes; playground equipment; bees.

• Read every book about the job. Provide verbal CliffsNotes version to adult partner who apparently can’t read these same books although you know for a fact he’s a college graduate because that’s where you guys met. You actually studied together. He’s capable of reading, processing and retaining volumes upon volumes of complex information. Nevertheless. Observe verbal CliffsNotes go in one ear and out the other.

• Become unnaturally intrigued by what gets stains out of clothing, trade tips with other moms and hate yourself for it, bookmark stain chat blogs and hate yourself for it, share hot tips (sunlight! vinegar!) with your friends via text and hate yourself for it.

• Exercise more in less time and with greater difficulty than you ever have at any other point in your life. Expect marginal improvement. You can do it! Sort of!

• Prepare to assume the responsibilities of pets your co-workers have begged for and then subsequently abandoned. Steel yourself for spending $95 on a vet appointment for a pet mouse while you have no fewer than nine mousetraps lying in wait in your basement for her cousins. It’s a real “Upstairs Downstairs”-type situation.

• Plan company off-sites/“vacations.” Oversee reservations and coordination of overpriced rental minivan, multiple flights that will ultimately not work out, strange babysitters, creepy outdated tours you had a free coupon for, family-friendly restaurants where all human hope goes to die and other assorted details. Create packing list. Create shopping list. Create list for house sitter. Create list for pet sitter. Create list of reasons everyone should go on this godforsaken trip without you. Weep.

• Stay on trend but not too on trend with your clothing, if you know what we mean. Don’t look dowdy, but don’t look like you’re trying to dress like a teenager, for God’s sake. Wear things that are flattering but not too revealing. Bare shoulders are O.K. as long as the rest of your arms are fully sheathed. Bottom line: You’re culturally irrelevant — embrace it!

SUPERVISOR: This position reports to co-workers younger and less qualified than you. They will also have little regard for your personal space; may pull your shirt up in public; slap you on the bum (also in public); wonder aloud why your arms, legs and/or stomach are so “squishy”; and will not at all listen to your opinions. They may, on occasion, order you around and be clearly unappreciative of your efforts. You’re a woman; you should be used to this sort of thing in the workplace by now.

SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE: Nothing will prepare you for this. Not babysitting, not having a dog, and certainly not your childbirth class. Maybe get some sleep or eat chocolate-covered pretzels in your underpants?

TYPE OF EMPLOYMENT: This is a volunteer, unpaid, full-time job. If you have paid employment outside the home, this is still a full-time job. You will have to sort that out for yourself. The primary purpose of this position is to train your co-workers to become more competent, independent, well adjusted and successful than you. Don’t be afraid to occasionally whisper “Marry for money” to them when no one’s around. Who cares? Times change, love is fickle and working is hard.

HOW WE MEASURE SUCCESS: Success in this position — while prematurely announced by those who are currently breast-feeding 5-year-olds — may be accurately measured only roughly 10 or 20 or 30 years after your last co-worker has left his or her in-house position. Please note: Once your co-worker has moved on, you will no longer be allowed into a majority of his or her waking moments and certainly not the sleeping ones. Your former co-workers will typically not be terribly vocal about whether they feel your tenure was a success, or what they’re doing now on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes they won’t even tell you what they’ve had to eat or who they are with! Honestly, the feedback process and yearly reviews for this position are a nightmare, if they happen at all. Many employees find Thanksgiving to be an unusually popular time for performance reviews, but we do not recommend it.

SUMMARY: The primary purpose of this position is to train the people you love most in this world to leave you. Forever.

Told you it was dumb....by Kimberly Harrington (@honeystaysuper) is the author of “Amateur Hour: Motherhood in Essays and Swear Words,” from which this essay is excerpted.

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Matresses for Babies: What is the safe choice?

Is it Safe for a Baby to Sleep on a Non-Organic Memory Foam Mattress

Memory foam is a fantastic sleeping surface for adults because it shapes after your body and keeps your spine aligned. But does this means it’s equally beneficial for babies?

Many parents worry that because memory foam is an artificial product designed using certain chemical compounds, the baby may be affected. Are these concerns valid?

First, it’s important to understand that, even though it supports the same material, a memory foam mattress for babies doesn’t come with the same features as one for adults. Mattresses created for adults are softer on the surface, to allow the body to sink in a bit. However, this feature can be problematic for babies because there is a risk of suffocation. This is why mattresses designed for babies are firm and have high responsiveness.

The Special Design

The mattress that is designed especially for the crib comes with a different construction compared to one designed for an adult. The producer uses a different process and the bed is built for babies from the ground up. This also means no harmful chemicals are used, even if the mattress has that memory foam specific smell when you first remove the cover.

The surface is firm and responsive and the baby has the necessary back support to grow healthy and strong. Even more, because the mattress is very comfortable, the baby will sleep better so there will be less crying and fussing.

The Concerns

There are two main concerns raised by parents when it comes to memory foam: the chemicals and the SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

About the chemicals, there was no report about babies suffering from any toxicity. There may have been babies that developed an allergic reaction, but this doesn’t happen just with memory foam. Some babies develop reactions to latex and this is a 100% natural material. Some babies just don’t support the material and if this happens, you must talk to your doctor and change the mattress.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends babies sleep on their back and in an independent sleep space to avoid any issues with soft mattresses or pillows. Typically a foam mattress is not appropriate for babies in cribs. If you’re still worried something may happen, ask for a mattress with a special cover that allows the air to flow. This way, even if the baby does roll over and gets stuck on their face, they will still be able to breathe.

Don’t Mix and Match

It’s very important to understand that your baby shouldn’t sleep in bed with you, on an adult memory foam mattress! The risks of SDIS on an adult mattress are high even when you are lying next to your baby. If you decided to go with a special bed for the crib, use it at all times!

Always Buy from Trusted Brands

Memory foam is a versatile material and producers can use all sorts of chemicals into the mix. Also, the level of firmness can easily be altered by the producer so make sure to buy only from brands you trust. If you are at your first baby and don’t know which brand to choose, ask other parents and read reviews online.

It may seem like a tedious task but nothing is more important than the safety of your baby! Take a look at forums and ask family and friends. There are some amazing brands out there, and some even offer a decent price.

Overall, when the mattress is built with babies’ needs in mind, such a surface can help your baby sleep better and grow healthy and strong. It may be a bit scary when you first start looking for a reliable product, but it is definitely worth the effort!

(researched and written by Jen Druski...who loves to write)

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Getting Ready to SPRING FOWARD!! Tips and Tricks!

Getting Ready for the Spring 2018 Time Change: Tips and Tricks to Ease the Transition

It’s that time again: the “Spring Forward” 2018 Time change. In the US, we will turn our clocks ahead one hour at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday, March 11th, 2017.

I am looking forward to the extra daylight and a dose of Vitamin D from the sunshine.  As with all time changes, the family should be prepared and expect some sleep disruptions and have tips and strategies on how to tackle it all.

If you employ these tips, it will be easier for your to support your little ones through their own transition

Tips for Parents:

• Eliminate all caffeine after 1:30 p.m. the week of March 5 in order to make it easier to go to bed earlier.

• If possible, also avoid alcohol the weekend of March 10/11 which negatively affects sleep.

• Go to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual on the Thursday 3/8/18

• On Friday 3/9/18 go to bed 30 minutes earlier than usual.

• On Saturday try to go to bed 45 minutes earlier than your usual bedtime (notice a pattern?).

This time change can often be very difficult for children. After all, imagine being used to a 7pm bedtime and now it’s been moved to what your body feels is 6pm!. 

Be patient as it does take the body 7-9 days for the natural circadian rhythm to get back on track.

To make the transition easier, I have outlined some tips to help your baby or toddler make a gentle change. Don’t worry. There are a couple of ways to tackle this transition and you can choose the one that suits your style and your child’s needs the best.

• Before the time change…be diligent that your child is getting adequate naps so that they aren’t overtired.

• Be prepared for your baby’s bedtime to feel earlier, since it actually is earlier. Remember, we’re jumping ahead a full hour, so what used to be 6:00 p.m. is now 7:00 p.m. (but it will still feel like 6:00 p.m. to your baby).

• Exposure to morning light can help the body “reset” the circadian rhythm. If it’s too cold, open the windows and let in some natural light.  Try to get at least thirty minutes of sunlight first thing in the morning for that initial week to help your body tune into the time change.

I recommend that you choose between two transition methods for Daylight Savings Time.

Transition Method 1: Pretend that Nothing Has Changed.

Best Method for Families with children with “early rising” tendencies (up before 6am)

Best Method for busy Parents who already feel “rushed” at bedtime.

If you have a child that actually wakes up before 6am, then this may be the right method for you.  This method is probably the easiest for most families, as you will follow your daily routine according to the clock, but everything will be pushed ahead one hour.

If you choose this method do the following:

• Move your clock ahead an hour on Saturday night, and proceed with your normal day Sunday.

• Note: be aware that following this “do nothing approach” means your child will lose an hour, which has the potential to create a struggle at bedtime, because bedtime will be a full hour earlier than it was last night.

• Because your baby or toddler is not aware that the time has changed, they will wake up at their normal time (hopefully), but instead of 6:00 a.m., it will be 7:00 a.m. (see what I mean about solving that pesky early rising issue?).

• However, don't let your child sleep past 7:30 or 8am or else bedtime will be harder.

• Proceed with your normal day, and be sure that your meals and naps, and bedtime are at the appropriate time (you may have to watch the clock).

Remember that your baby will be going to bed at their “regular time”. For example, if your baby is used to a 7:00 p.m. bedtime, put them to bed at the NEW 7:00 p.m. (which was previously 6:00 p.m.). It is very possible that meals and naps will fall into place naturally with this method, but be prepared that your child may not actually be tired at bedtime yet. Remember, they don’t understand why they’ve lost an hour, and it’s suddenly still light out at bedtime, so you may have to be a bit flexible or now might be the time to install those room darkening shades.

This method of adjustment seldom takes more than a week!

Transition Method 2: Make DAILY adjustments

Best for families that know the time change will be hard on their kiddo

Best for families who feel more secure when they “plan in advance”

• About 5-7 days before the time change, begin putting your child to bed 10-20 minutes earlier, moving the time back every day or few days until you reach a full hour. So, if your child has a 7:00 p.m. bedtime, you want to begin with bedtime at 6:40 p.m. ,then 6:20 p.m., then 6:00 p.m.

• Be consistent as possible with your baby’s food and sleep schedule. This means that you need to shift all meals, snacks, and naps a half hour earlier as well.

• Watch the clock to stay on the new schedule of 30 minutes earlier.

• Don’t forget to wake your child a bit earlier to help with this transition schedule.

• After about a week, your child should be back at their 7:00 p.m. bedtime.

• Adjust all meals, snacks, and naps to fit the “new” schedule on the same day that you shift to your child’s new, fully-adjusted bedtime.

Here is an example: If your baby or toddler’s bedtime is 7 pm, it will look like this:

• Tuesday 3/6/17 : 6:50 pm bedtime

• Wednesday 3/7/17 : 6:40 pm bedtime

• Thursday 3/8/17: 6:30 pm bedtime

• Friday: 3/9/17 6:20 pm bedtime

• Saturday 3/10/17: 6:10 pm bedtime

• Sunday 3/11/17: 7 pm bedtime (new time—old time will be 6 pm)

Keep in mind that the goal is to be back to your baby’s normal bedtime (and routine) in just a few days (some children may take a bit longer, so don’t fret if your child takes a week or so).

Whichever method you choose, it’s important to remember that your baby’s internal clock is used to Standard Time. You may need to revert to some sleep training methods for a few days to help ease the time change. “Springing forward” also means that nights are shorter, which may be an issue for some children who are used to dark winter nights.  Remember, every child is different, and your little one will adjust, but don’t fret if it’s not overnight (some toddlers can take a few weeks to adjust!). Prepare for the transition to take a few days, and watch for those sleep cues that will tell you when your child is tired and ready to sleep!

Overview On How To Handle Daylight Saving Time:

• Decide which Daylight Savings sleep transition method you want to use to help your child adjust.

• Take your baby’s internal clock into account and watch for sleepy cues.

• Check to see if light is an issue, and consider purchasing room-darkening shades for bedtime, but also expose them to morning light in that first week to “reset” their internal clock.

• Most importantly, be flexible and patient. A time change is often hard on kids and adults alike. Readjustment can take about 5-7 days.  Just be mindful of the clock and your schedule.

• Keep evening plans calm and watch for sleepy cues. Dim the lights in house and avoid screen-time that can be too stimulating.

• If needed, use your preferred sleep training method to help encourage sleep and help your baby get the rest he/she needs.

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!

Good News!! The Evidence Is Confirmed: Sleep Coaching Is Safe and Restores Harmony to the Household

Got Kids? Need Sleep?: Evidence Proves Sleep Coaching Is Safe.....Its Time To Make Sleep A Priority for All Family Members.

All evidence is now confirming that all sleep coaching methods and interventions work to improve sleep. The studies have validated that there are no concerning levels of stress and cortisol. The studies have also confirmed that there are no negative long-term outcomes. This is great news because it now gives parents freedom to choose the RIGHT METHODOLOGY FOR THEIR PARENTING STYLE AND VALUES.  I personally prefer Gentle Sleep Coaching, which is also known as the Sleep Lady Shuffle or also known as Fading. Gentle Sleep Coaching is a proven methodology that offers parents the opportunity to be in the room with their child while offering verbal and physical assurances. Gentle Sleep Coaching has been proven to minimize tears and frustration. Gentle Sleep Coaching provides substantial Parent Education and insight into the temperament of their child and how that relates to sleep.  Peaceful Nights are Possible with the expertise of Joanna Clark of Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching, a trained and certified Gentle Sleep Coach. Below is an article form Aaron Carrroll,  Professor of Pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine that further explains the different sleep training methodologies and options.

Putting Your Baby to Sleep: Some Advice and Good News

Aaron E. Carroll is a professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine who blogs on health research.

For many new parents, a baby who sleeps peacefully through the night is more aspiration than reality.

I remember thinking, after my pregnant wife’s water broke minutes after I went to bed, anguishing really, over one thought as we drove to the hospital: “I’m never going to be well rested again.”

If there’s one thing all new parents wish for, it’s a good night’s sleep.

Unfortunately, infants sometimes make that impossible. They wake up repeatedly, needing to be fed, changed and comforted. Eventually, they reach an age when they should sleep through the night. Some don’t, though. What to do with them continues to be a topic of a heated debate in parenting circles.

One camp believes that babies should be left to cry it out. These people place babies in their cribs at a certain time, after a certain routine, and don’t interfere until the next morning. No matter how much the babies scream or cry, parents ignore them. After all, if babies learn that tantrums lead to the appearance of a loved one, they will continue that behavior in the future. The official name for this approach is “Extinction.”

The downside, of course, is that it’s unbelievably stressful for parents. Many can’t do it. And not holding fast to the plan can make everything worse. Responding to an infant’s crying after an extended period of time makes the behavior harder to extinguish. To a baby, it’s like a slot machine that hits just as you’re ready to walk away; it makes you want to play more.

A modification of this strategy is known as “Graduated Extinction.” Parents allow their infant to cry it out for a longer period each night, until infants eventually put themselves to sleep. On the first night, for instance, parents might commit to not entering the baby’s room for five minutes. The next night, 10 minutes. Then 15, and so on. Or, they could increase the increments on progressive checks each night. When they do go in the room, it’s only to check and make sure the baby is O.K. — no picking up or comforting. This isn’t meant to be a reward for crying, but to allow parents to be assured that nothing is wrong

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Another choice is “Bedtime Fading.” The point of this plan is to teach your children how to fall asleep on their own at bedtime, in the hope that if they develop this skill, when they wake up in the middle of the night they’ll choose to employ it rather than call for you. With fading, you temporarily set bedtime later than usual and preface it with a good bedtime routine. Your babies learn that bedtime is fun, and have little trouble falling asleep because they’re more tired than usual. Then you move their bedtime earlier and earlier, so that infants learn how to put themselves to sleep when they are less and less tired.

A fourth method is “Scheduled Awakenings.” In this method, a parent tries to disrupt spontaneous awakening by getting up in the middle of the night to wake children 15 to 30 minutes before they usually wake up on their own. They then help the baby fall back asleep. The scheduled awakenings are later phased out.

Of course, even with fading and scheduled awakenings, it’s possible that your baby will wake up in the middle of the night, screaming. Then you face a choice: Go to them or wait it out?

Some people always choose to comfort the child. They think that making a baby cry it out is inhumane and could even lead to psychological problems. Others feel that giving in to babies prevents them from learning needed skills and leads to later problems.

A final thing doctors can do is “Parental Education,” which is closer to prevention. It involves talking to parents about many of these options, especially training infants to fall asleep on their own, before problems develop.

As a pediatrician, the first thing I do with parents who are experiencing problems is calm them down. Sometimes it feels as if it will never go away, but I try to remind them that few teenagers have this issue. They go to bed fine, and if they wake up in the middle of the night, they go back to sleep without anyone’s help. This almost always, eventually, gets better.

On the other hand, I don’t want to minimize the short-term problems for parents. Nor do I want to do nothing. Sleep deprivation leads to significant and serious consequences in adults. A 2008 study published in Pediatrics found that mothers of infants with sleep problems, in which no intervention was tried, were more likely to report symptoms of clinical depression when their child was 2 years old. Sleep problems also lead to significant parental stress, and, potentially, physicalpunishment.

The good news is that almost all interventions work. In 2006, a systematic review was published in the journal Sleep that examined all the relevant research on the efficacy of these interventions. Ninety-four percent of the 52 reviewed studies found that the interventions led to improved sleep, and more than 80 percent of children who were treated improved significantly.

The strongest evidence supported the extinction method and parent education (i.e., prevention). Still, there was evidence that also supported the graduated extinction, fading and scheduled awakenings methods.

People become surprisingly heated about which method to use. This isn’t just because they think one works better than the other, but also because they think some are harmful. They worry about the long-term effects of some methods. Those concerns may be overblown, though. A small study published recently followed children who were randomly sorted to use graduated extinction, fading or parent education. Besides looking at the effectiveness of the intervention on sleep, researchers measured the cortisol hormone in infants’ saliva (as a measure of stress) as well as mothers’ moods and stress.

Again, all of the interventions worked to improve sleep. More important, none caused any concerning levels of stress. This confirmed the findings of two previous studies that found that infant sleep problems, and the interventions used to remedy them, do not predict long-term outcomes, even at 6 years of age.

Parents become stressed about infants who don’t sleep well. That’s understandable. What they don’t need to stress about is that fixing it will cause more harm or have long-term negative consequences. A good night’s sleep makes almost everything better.

Aaron E. Carroll is a professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine who blogs on health research and policy at The Incidental Economist and makes videos at Healthcare Triage. Follow him on Twitter at @aaronecarroll.

Solve your child’s sleep struggles once and for all — so everyone finally sleeps again.

I help sleep-deprived families get where they need to be: well-rested.

There Is No Need To "Cry-It-Out"

I Offer Guilt-Free, Gentle Sleep Coaching

Easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and confident parenting are yours.

With proven, evidence-based methods, an expert, signature process, and full-service support,

I help you tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to your child.

I’ve Helped Over 800 Families Sleep Through The Night.

That’s More Than 2,400 Family Members Now Sleeping Better.

Let Me Help Your Whole Family Sleep Better, Too.

Click the button below to schedule a live 45 minute Sleep Strategy Session where you can gain expert insights into how to tackle the sleep struggles once and for all! (small fee applies)

I Want Sleep Now!