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Empathy & Co-Regulation: The Key to Less Tears When Sleep Coaching
Did you know that empathy and the concept of “co-regulation” is critically important to understand during your sleep coaching process? In fact, one of the best ways to minimize crying during the sleep coaching process is to fully understand the how to effectively drop into empathy and co-regulation with your child. You will learn everything you need to know in this insightful interview with Chantal Donnelly, a Nervous System Expert and Physical Therapist!
Did you know that empathy and the concept of “co-regulation” is critically important to understand during your sleep coaching process?
In fact, one of the best ways to minimize crying during the sleep coaching process is to fully understand the how to effectively drop into empathy and co-regulate with your child.
Also, it is imperative that the parent understands their own stress responses so the parent can stay properly “regulated” during the time they are offering emotional and physical support during the sleep coaching learning process. If you have not done so, you might also want to watch the interview on all the tips and tricks to manage your own stress responses. Mystery Solved: Understanding Your Stress Responses. After all, we all want to be less reactive, less shut-down and enhance our meaningful connection to others.
Below is the engaging interview where we dive deep into these important topics with Chantal Donnelly of Body Insight. Chantal has a unique combination of expertise. She is a stress management and nervous system expert, as well as a physical therapist and a certified Resilience Toolkit Facilitator. In other words, Chantal deeply understands the science behind the mind-body connection. Watch our interview below to learn more!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBlE39BZpNg?rel=0&w=560&h=315]
In this interview, Chantal also mentions Brene Brown’s work on Empathy and I wanted you to also have this video to reference. This will not only be helpful in your parenting journey, but it most certainly will enhance your marriage!!
Brene Brown Empathy video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
If you loved what Chantal had to say, please know that Chantal is hosting a
COMPLIMENTARY NERVOUS SYSTEM RESET WORKSHOP.
Saturday May 30th at 11 am (PST) / 2PM EST.
Here is what you can expect to learn on the May 30th Workshop.
1. Chantal will discuss why some people are noticing that the stress of the pandemic is flaring up some old, familiar physical pain in their bodies. Hint: Stress and pain are intimately interrelated.
2. Chantal will talk about the myth of “self-care” and how to know if your self-care is helping you or harming you.
3. Chantal will review the 6 cranial nerves that activate your calming nervous system. We are going to learn some new tools that directly target those nerves.
If you would like to attend, please email Chantal and I will send you the Zoom link!
Chantal Donnelly, MPT, Certified Resilience Toolkit Facilitator
Body Insight Inc.
chantal@bodyinsight.com
https://www.bodyinsight.com
213.215.6778
May you stay healthy in body, mind and spirit!
Baby Sleep Tips For The Spring Time Change 2019
It is time to Spring Foward 1 hour on March 10, 2019. Here are some baby sleep tips on how to manage this time change with your child.
Spring Forward on 3/10/19
Spring Forward on 3/10/19
It’s Daylight Savings time again: It is time to “Spring Forward”! In the US, we will turn our clocks ahead one hour this weekend at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday, March 10th, 2019 and in Europe, it is Sunday March 31.
I am looking forward to the extra daylight and a dose of Vitamin D from the sunshine. As with all time changes, the family should be prepared and expect some sleep disruptions. Below are some baby sleep tips and strategies on how to tackle it all.
Be patient as it does take the body 7-9 days for the natural circadian rhythm to get back on track.
If you employ these tips, it will be easier for you to support yourself and your little ones through this time-change transition.
This time change can often be very difficult for children. After all, imagine being used to a 7pm bedtime and now it’s been moved to what your body feels is 6pm!
To make the transition easier, I have outlined some baby sleep tips to help your baby or toddler make a gentle change. Don’t worry. There are a couple of ways to tackle this transition and you can choose the one that suits your style and your child’s needs the best.
Before the time change…be diligent that your child is getting adequate naps so that they aren’t overtired.
Be prepared for your baby’s bedtime to feel earlier, since it actually is earlier. Remember, we’re jumping ahead a full hour, so what used to be 6:00 p.m. is now 7:00 p.m. (but it will still feel like 6:00 p.m. to your baby).
Exposure to morning light can help the body “reset” the circadian rhythm. If it’s too cold, open the windows and let in some natural light.
Try to get at least thirty minutes of sunlight first thing in the morning for that initial week to help your body tune into the time change.
I recommend that you choose between two transition methods for Daylight Savings Time.
Transition Method 1: Pretend that Nothing Has Changed on March 10.
Best method for families with children with “early rising” tendencies (up before 6am)
Best method for busy parents who already feel “rushed” at bedtime.
If you have a child that actually wakes up before 6am, than this may be the right method for you. This method is probably the easiest for most families, as you will follow your daily routine according to the clock, but everything will be pushed ahead one hour.
If you choose this method do the following:
Move your clock ahead an hour on Saturday night 3/9/19, and proceed with your normal day Sunday.
Note: be aware that following this “do nothing approach” means your child will lose an hour, which has the potential to create a struggle at bedtime, because bedtime will be a full hour earlier than it was last night.
Because your baby or toddler is not aware that the time has changed, they will wake up at their normal time (hopefully), but instead of 6:00 a.m., it will be 7:00 a.m. (see what I mean about solving that pesky early rising issue?).
However, don't let your child sleep past 7:30 or 8am or else bedtime will be harder.
Proceed with your normal day, and be sure that your meals and naps, and bedtime are at the appropriate time (you may have to watch the clock).
Remember that your baby will be going to bed at their “regular time”. For example, if your baby is used to a 7:00 p.m. bedtime, put them to bed at the NEW 7:00 p.m. (which was previously 6:00 p.m.). It is very possible that meals and naps will fall into place naturally with this method, but be prepared that your child may not actually be tired at bedtime yet. Remember, they don’t understand why they’ve lost an hour, and it’s suddenly still light out at bedtime, so you may have to be a bit flexible or now might be the time to install those room darkening shades.
Transition Method 2: Make DAILY adjustments
Best for families that know the time change will be hard on their kiddo
Best for families who feel more secure when they “plan in advance”
About 5-7 days before the time change, begin putting your child to bed 10-20 minutes earlier, moving the time back every day or few days until you reach a full hour. So, if your child has a 7:00 p.m. bedtime, you want to begin with bedtime at 6:40 p.m. then 6:20 p.m., then 6:00 p.m.
Be consistent as possible with your baby’s food and sleep schedule. This means that you need to shift all meals, snacks, and naps earlier as well.
Watch the clock to stay on the new schedule of 30 minutes earlier.
Don’t forget to wake your child a bit earlier to help with this transition schedule.
After about a week, your child should be back at their 7:00 p.m. bedtime.
Adjust all meals, snacks, and naps to fit the “new” schedule on the same day that you shift to your child’s new, fully-adjusted bedtime.
Here is an example: If your baby or toddler’s bedtime is 7 pm, it will look like this:
Tuesday 3/5/19 : 6:50 pm bedtime
Wednesday 3/6/19 : 6:40 pm bedtime
Thursday 3/7/19: 6:30 pm bedtime
Friday: 3/8/19 6:20 pm bedtime
Saturday 3/9/1: 6:10 pm bedtime
Sunday 3/10/19: 7 pm bedtime (new time—old time will be 6 pm)
Keep in mind that the goal is to be back to your baby’s normal bedtime (and routine) in just a few days (some children may take a bit longer, so don’t fret if your child takes a week or so).
Tips for Parents:
Eliminate all caffeine after 1:30 p.m. this week in order to make it easier to go to bed earlier.
If possible, also avoid alcohol this weekend, which negatively affects sleep.
Go to bed 15 minutes earlier than usual on the Thursday 3/7/19
On Friday 3/7/19 go to bed 30 minutes earlier than usual.
On Saturday try to go to bed 45 minutes earlier than your usual bedtime (notice a pattern?).
Whichever method you choose, it’s important to remember that your baby’s internal clock is used to Standard Time. You may need to revert to some sleep training methods for a few days to help ease the time change. “Springing forward” also means that nights are shorter, which may be an issue for some children who are used to dark winter nights. Remember, every child is different, and your little one will adjust, but don’t fret if it’s not overnight (some toddlers can take a few weeks to adjust!). Prepare for the transition to take a few days, and watch for those sleep cues that will tell you when your child is tired and ready to sleep!
Overview On How To Handle Daylight Saving Time:
Decide which Daylight Savings sleep transition method you want to use to help your child adjust.
Take your baby’s internal clock into account and watch for sleepy cues.
Check to see if light is an issue, and consider purchasing room-darkening shades for bedtime, but also expose them to morning light in that first week to “reset” their internal clock.
Most importantly, be flexible and patient. A time change is often hard on kids and adults alike. Readjustment can take about 5-9 days. Just be mindful of the clock and your schedule.
Keep evening plans calm and watch for sleepy cues. Dim the lights in house and avoid screen-time that can be too stimulating.
If needed, use your preferred sleep training method to help encourage sleep and help your baby get the rest he/she needs.
If after the time change you are still having challenging sleep struggles, than don't hesitate to schedule a Time-Change Tune-Up.
THERE IS NO NEED TO LIVE LIFE IN A SLEEP-DEPRIVED HAZE!
SCHEDULE YOUR SLEEP TUNE-UP SESSION HERE
I look forward to helping you restore easy and calm bedtimes, quiet, peaceful nights, reliable naps and harmonious, confident parenting!
P.S. As pediatric sleep expert and a trained and certified Gentle Sleep Coach. I offer an alternative to the “cry it out” methodology. I am on a mission to help parents tenderly teach the “skills of sleep” to their children through a guilt-free, gentle approach and a full-service, proven system to promote a gentle, reassuring, gradual change that results in drama-free bedtimes, peaceful nights, reliable naps, and marital harmony. Want to find out more? Click to know about my methodology . Click to find out how I can help you and your family members achieve Blissful Sleep.
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