“I’m Afraid to Sleep Coach… What If It’s a Total Disaster?”
Let’s be real for a second.
The idea of sleep coaching probably sounds a little terrifying.
Your brain is throwing out all the worst-case scenarios:
💭 “What if my baby screams all night?”
💭 “What if she NEVER sleeps without me?”
💭 “What if this totally backfires and we end up even more exhausted?”
I get it. And if that’s where you are right now, take a deep breath.
You are NOT alone in this.
I recently had a convo with a mom who felt exactly like you do. She loved co-sleeping (when it worked) but was running on fumes because she was the only one who could get her baby back to sleep. She was completely drained and honestly, she couldn’t see HOW to solve the problem and have it be a happy ending without drama or fear of doing “cry-it-out.”
So let’s walk through that same conversation—because if she had these fears, I know a lot of you do, too.
Step 1: Let’s Acknowledge the Fear
If you’ve never done this before, why wouldn’t you be nervous?
This is a big change. And big changes can feel scary.
Here’s what I don’t do:
❌ I don’t leave you to “figure it out” alone.
❌ I don’t expect you to go cold turkey.
❌ I don’t do harsh, cry-it-out methods.
Here’s what I do instead:
✅ I create a step-by-step, personalized plan for your family.
✅ I walk you through every stage, so you always know what’s coming next.
✅ I stay right there with you so you feel supported the whole way through.
Bottom line? You’re not going into this blind.
Step 2: “What Do I Have to Do to Be Successful?” I’m already exhausted and can't do anymore “to-dos” to my days.
This is such a common concern. And honestly? It’s valid.
You’re already running on fumes and you don't even have time to do the basics in life (laundry, taking a shower, household chores) and now I’m telling you to add sleep coaching to your plate? Sounds impossible, right?
Here’s the thing: preparing for sleep coaching doesn’t mean doing MORE. It means making small, smart changes that make things easier.
Here’s where to start:
1. Tiny Tweaks Now = A Smoother Transition Later
You don’t have to wait until “night one” of coaching to start shifting things.
Try these super simple adjustments NOW to make sleep coaching easier when the time comes:
👉 Identify your child’s right sleep window – Paying attention to age-appropriate sleep cues so bedtime routine is smoother
👉 Introduce a comfort item (if age-appropriate) – Something your child can start associating with sleep, like a safe lovey.
👉 Shift your role gradually – If co-sleeping, try lying next to your child without touching for a few minutes before they fall asleep.
These are tiny shifts. No pressure. No stress. But they start laying the groundwork for bigger changes.
2. If You’re Exhausted, Who’s Taking the Lead?
Listen, I know a lot of moms assume they have to do the coaching. But guess what? If you’ve got a partner, they might actually be the better coach.
Why? Because if your baby is glued to you (nursing, co-sleeping, wanting mom 24/7), they’re naturally going to protest more when YOU try to change things.
Sometimes, having dad (or another caregiver) take over bedtime makes everything go smoother—because baby doesn’t expect nursing or rocking from the “non-crutching partner”.
🚨 If you’re bone-tired, consider having your partner lead the coaching while you step back.
It’s not a magic fix, but it can make night one way easier.
3. Pick a Start Date That Doesn’t Set You Up for Failure
Timing matters. If you’re moving, traveling, or juggling way too much, now might not be the best time to dive in.
Look for a window where you have at least two solid weeks to focus on sleep. That way, you’re not throwing yourself into chaos on top of everything else.
What Happens on Night One?
Okay, so what actually happens when we start?
Here’s the quick and dirty version:
🛏 You’re not abandoning your baby. You’ll be right next to the crib/bed, supporting them the whole time and can offer verbal and physical comfort.
📉 First few nights = small steps of identifying your child’s unique settling and and soothing tactics. Your child is figuring things out, and it takes about 3-5 nights to build the skills to pick up momentum.
💡 Your job is to be their regulator. If they get frustrated, you’re there to help them calm down—but NOT to crutch them to sleep.
Think of it like teaching your kid to ride a bike. You don’t just throw them on and hope for the best. You hold on, guide them, and help them gain confidence until they’re riding on their own.
Same thing with sleep.
What About Crying?
Let’s rip the Band-Aid off: yes, there might be some protesting which is the form of frustration (not “abandonment tears” because you are NEXT TO YOUR CHILD so don’t worry, your child will not feel abandoned.
But here’s what I tell every family: Crying doesn’t always mean distress. It often just means “Hey, I don’t like this new thing!”
There are 5 reasons kids cry during sleep coaching:
1️⃣ They’re overtired (we fix this with the right bedtime).
2️⃣ They’re overstimulated (we fix this by keeping things calm and simple).
3️⃣ They’re in a power struggle (we avoid this by setting clear, predictable routines).
4️⃣ They’re frustrated/confused (this is where the learning happens!).
5️⃣ They have an unmet need (we always meet needs before sleep).
The goal isn’t to “stop” crying—it’s to minimize unnecessary tears and help your baby develop independent sleep skills.
What If I’m Still on the Fence?
I get it.
Letting go of co-sleeping or rocking to sleep can feel HUGE—especially if it’s been your go-to for months (or years).
But here’s what I see over and over from families I work with:
💡 Their baby learns faster than they expected.
💡 They realize they actually get MORE connection (because they’re now a well-rested family!).
💡 They can finally see a path forward that doesn’t feel like a never-ending cycle of exhaustion.
One mom I worked with, Hannah, was deep in the co-sleeping, nursing-to-sleep trenches. She thought there was no way her baby would sleep alone.
Now? Her baby sleeps 11+ hour stretches in his own crib, and everyone is so much happier.
This isn’t about forcing change. It’s about teaching new skills, in a way that works for your family.
Ready to Sleep Again? Let’s Do This.
If you’re thinking, “Okay, I kinda-sorta-maybe want to try this, but I still have questions,”—that’s what I’m here for.
Let’s start with an easy first step, schedule a Sleep Strategy Session so me, you and your partner can have an 1 hr long zoom session so I can properly assess the sleep situation and determine if you need one-on-one sleep coaching support.
Let’s get your baby sleeping—and get YOU your sanity back.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
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