Lights Out, Brain On: Navigating the Sleepy Maze of School Age Slumber"
Today, we're diving into the magical realm of school-age sleep challenges and the incredible transformations that happen when Gentle Sleep Coaching steps in to save the night. I've been at this for 13 years, and trust me, I've seen it all – from midnight negotiations to anxiety-induced bedtime dramas. But fear not, because where there's a sleep challenge, there's a solution, and I'm here to spill the beans.
It's never too late to learn the skills of sleep!
The Mom-in-the-Room Chronicles:
Remember those nights when bedtime was more negotiation than relaxation? Picture this: a weary mom perched at the end of her child's bed, quietly tiptoeing out once the Sandman claimed victory. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. The mom-in-the-room chronicles are real, and they often come with an invisible ticket to the middle of night wake-up circus.
The Middle of the Night Wake-Up Circus:
Ah, the art of multiple wake-ups! It's like your child has an internal alarm clock set for inconvenient intervals. But worry not, because with the right gentle guidance, we can turn those annoying wake-ups into uninterrupted dreams that even Sleeping Beauty would envy.
The Early Rising Enigma:
Early risers –waking between 4-6am- the bane of every exhausted parent's existence. But guess what? There's hope! Gentle Sleep Coaching can unravel the secrets to the early rising enigma, so you can savor those precious extra moments of shut-eye.
Stress and Anxiety Chronicles:
Stress and anxiety have a knack for sneaking into the bedtime routine, creating a tumultuous sea of worries. But take heart, dear parents! With the right tools and techniques, we'll navigate those choppy waters and lead your child to the calm shores of peaceful slumber.
I have been working with my clients Jennifer and Dustin for 5 years now sleep coaching their children and guiding them back to blissful sleep when regressions arise. Most recently, the family reached out when their nights included multiple wake ups and difficulty falling asleep fueled by stress and anxiety of their 8 year old daughter. Traveling for work was HARD on everyone. Nights out with girlfriends weren't happening. Mom and Dad knew there were resources available, a village to support them and a process to get back to Beautiful Blissful Sleep.
Watch their Sleep Success Story to hear how this family got back to calm nights and waking up rested.
Jennifer wants everyone to know:
"Having the right coach to walk us through this process was completely game changing for us. Years ago, when we first called Joanna, I had in the back of my mind "I'm a mom, I should know how to do this." It takes a village and it takes help. You have to reach out and ask for help and know that there's so many great resources available. There are processes that have been proven and techniques that can be used. As a mom you don't need to know everything and it's okay to reach out for help."
Are you struggling with your child's sleep? Could you use some support?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
-
So, hello, I'm Joanna with Blissful Baby. Sleep Coaching. And today is a a celebration call with one of my longtime clients. Jennifer, thank you so much for being here. Absolutely. We're gonna have a great conversation today because we've actually worked together three separate times. We worked together first when her daughter was three years old and we did sleep training from top to bottom in the crib.
Great. Got her sleeping on we go. Then number two, baby came along when that baby was old enough, we sleep trained the son, no problem. Life goes on. So then between the ages of three and nearly eight, I don't hear from Jennifer and her husband. So that's what, how many years? That's like five years. And then all of a sudden one day I see them pop up on my phone 'cause I have all my clients on my phone and I'm like, Hey, and why were you calling mom? You're like, help. Yeah, We were calling because our daughter had a regression and we were in a place where she was not able to put herself to sleep and it was causing quite a bit of impact, you know, within our family and getting her to bed and getting her to stay asleep at night.
Yeah. So we had, so in other words, like we had kind of an interesting situation because technically this child had all her sleep skills, meaning she knows how to self-regulate, she knows how to self-settle, she knows how to self-soothe. She knows how to go to sleep. She knows how to go back to sleep. But all of a sudden, none of the above was happening. And what was replaced was fear around bedtime, anxiety around bedtime, fear in the middle of the night and being very mommy preference and kind of barnacle the mommy barnacle. Like just utterly devastated if mom was not, was not in view, you know, had to be in view all the time in every right. Like if you've tried to leave the house that's out of view.
She couldn't handle it and it just kind of started and then it kind of spiraled and like it started and then it kind of like ended up, really started seeping into bedtime and then seeping into the middle of the night. So it was like a slow build A little bit. Yeah. It was a very slow build. She had done well going to sleep for quite a while and then we had noticed, you know, we'd have a little bit of trouble getting her to sleep at night and then she would, you know, come downstairs in the middle of the night, we'd have to walk her back up. And then, you know, when she had started in elementary school is where we started seeing quite a bit of the difference. And I think that was due to just a lot of change going on with her life changing schools and you know, being in kindergarten, being in first grade And covid covid. Yes. And being outta school for a long period of time, there was just so much, so much change. So many things that were happening in her life. And I feel that that her concern around those things came out, you know, and how she was falling asleep or not falling asleep I should say. And then resting throughout the night. Those stressors were really impacting her sleep schedule. Exactly. Exactly. And so that's when Jennifer called and said, okay, we have a regression, but it's not your typical regression of, you know, oops, we went on a vacation, we ended up co-sleeping and now all she wants is co-sleeping. There was more going on.
There was the, the fear, the anxiety and, and and also just this neediness of the mommy preference, right? Yeah. She had a lot of anxiety built up and that that's something that we, you know, worked through and talked through, you know, quite a bit, which I didn't even recognize until we really started talking quite a bit bit how much her anxiety over going to sleep was truly impacting the, the entire process of her going to sleep. Exactly. So we did a really thorough assessment. Obviously dad was involved in all of these conversations. Like this was definitely a family system. And we got Brooke involved in, oh, excuse me, I don't wanna say her name. Anyways, we got your daughter involved in all the conversations so that she understood exactly what we were doing, why we were doing it, that we were working with her, with the team. I was kind of her sleep teacher, sleep coach. I forget what did she call me? She had, didn't she call me something? I mean, she knew me as Miss Joanna, but I think she kind of saw me as like the sleep teacher or something like that sleep Teacher.
She kind of saw me in that role. And so it was very collaborative with her. So there was nothing that was like put upon her or forced upon her. It was very much step by step, day by day integrations that she was highly aware of that she, that we had cre co-created with her. And so we are now, like, now we reached all her goals.
Like, so mom, now tell me what it looks like now. You know, it is, it's absolutely amazing. So I travel for work here and there and you know, I recall leaving and there just being so much fear and anxiety built up to where, you know, I would get upset. She would get upset, everybody in the whole house would be upset.
And I mean, just a complete fear of me being gone and not being there to put her asleep. I was at a point where I was laying at the end of her bed and I would quietly get up when she, you know, fell asleep and tiptoe out. I mean, there was times where I would even, you know, just sneak out of the room hoping that the floor wouldn't creak and make noise to wake her up.
And, you know, all of that, you know, went on for a, a very long time. And I think a lot of it was my fear of like, you know, how are we going, how are we going to to, you know, get to the place where we need to be, get back to that place where we need to be.
And so now you know that we've gone through the steps, we've done the process, we've worked with Joanna, we've worked with you, you know, to really uncover, you know, what is gonna motivate Brooke, what is going to increase her confidence and going to bed and make her proud of herself. And I think that, you know, she felt so much fear.
She was so worried that she couldn't do it, that we had to build that confidence up. We had to build, you know, her self-esteem around knowing that she could go to bed and do it on her own. And now, you know, when I leave for work to go outta town, you know, I get a hug goodbye. I get a mom,
I'm gonna miss you and I'll talk to you in just a little while, I'll call you. And there's not fear around what's gonna happen at bedtime. It it's, it's been such a difference in our lives. And you know, Brooke is proud of herself. Oops. Yes. She's so, she's so confident now. When we go to bed, we get ready for bed, we use our sleep manners, we go into the room, we give hugs, we give kisses. She'll sit and read a book too to or herself sometimes to settle herself and she lays down and goes to sleep. Sleep. And I'm not sitting outside the door or I'm not sitting in a chair or sneaking outta the room at night. And, And this is at seven 30 and this is at seven 30.
Everyone I want you to know. So again, eight, she's, she's almost eight. So what grade is she in? Second. Second grade, huh? Yeah. Yeah. So, so you know those of you that have older, older children that are like, oh my gosh, it's too late. I just have a bad sleeper. I just have to like lay down with her every night.
You know, this is just my life. The answer is no, it doesn't have to be your life. Because this child now happily goes to bed, lights out at seven 30, she's asleep by eight. And mom says that on the weekdays sometimes she actually has to wake her up in order to go to school 'cause she's willing to like literally sleep like 11 to 12 hours at night.
Whereas before she was having early rising and always up and out the door and wandering down the hallway and finding, you know, going to the bedroom, the master bedroom and stuff. So we've got a child now that is like confident, loves her bed, has a bedtime routine, she likes sleeping 11.5 to 12 hours all night long. And then you told me how it's changed her demeanor.
So you told me in the morning, what does she like in the morning Waking up excited and happy and just ready for her day. She's well rested, we're all well rested, which is has been an, an amazing experience to get to this point. Yeah, Yeah. And also no drama anymore. No barnacle like behavior with mom. Mom you just said told me that you just went out with your girlfriends last night for a girl, a girlfriend's dinner and all you to do is say, okay, I'm going out to dinner with my friends, I'll be back. And she goes, okay. Yep. Exactly. And then you went on a business trip and it was like, okay. Yep. And then you did two other things that were like things, your goals on your list that recently that went well.
Tell us about that. Yeah, she was able to stay over at her grandparents' house and have a fun slumber party and everyone was able to get, be rested and not exhausted at the end of the day, you know, or waking up in the morning. She did great with that and she's having her first real slumber party this weekend and we can't wait for her to be able to experience that little milestone in life. So you can see you guys, it's never too late. So when, when you, when you think that people like, you know, again, now you've been this through three times at all different ages, all different stages. Male, female, you know, one boy, one girl. Like if you, if you met a mom that was just totally, you know, or met some parents that just had, you know, sleep, had been struggling with sleep and, and their child was between the ages of six months and 10 years of age, like what do you wanna tell 'em about sleep training and, and sleep coaching and, and and finding the right coach to support them? Yeah, you know, I, having the right coach and having a coach walk us through this process was completely game changing for us when we, you know, years ago when we first called Joanna, you know, I had in the back of my mind that, you know, I should know this. Like I should, I'm a mom, I should know how to do this. And it takes a village and it takes help and it's, you know, you have to reach out and ask for help and know that there's so many great resources, so many, you know, processes that have been proven and techniques that can be used. And, and as a mom you don't need to know everything and it's okay to reach out for help and it's okay to know that, you know, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will get better. You will get sleep, I promise you'll get sleep eventually. And we are, we're getting sleep now. And I, you know, I've just gotta say that, you know, we, we Joanna we greatly appreciate you. You've, you've been there for us and our babies, you know, for years through different regressions and, and given us the tools, you know, to really be able to give them, you know, the sleep that they need for them to be, you know, successful in school and successful in their day and confident and you know, everything. And this again, it, it trickles over to other things in their life, you know, where they're building confidence in around. So we just, we greatly appreciate it. Good. Yeah. 'cause your life gets easier as a parent too, right? So, you know, you're able now to go on the business trip without guilt. You're able to now go out to go out to dinner with your girlfriends without guilt. Dad is saying, fine, go out with your girlfriends 'cause these kids are so easy to take care of now I'm happy to be in the house. I'm gonna put these kids to bed and now I have a quiet house for a couple hours while you're out. And that was never the case whenever you left, dad was kind of left with a mess. And so now he can leave, he can enjoy a quiet house while the kids are sleeping and you get to go out and ha and see some friends or vice versa. He can go out with his guy friends and you can have a quiet house 'cause both kids are going to sleep at seven 30 at night. You know, I mean, it just opens up a whole world of possibility. And like you said, it takes a village and that as a mom, you know, we have this perception that we've gotta figure it all out on our own or that just our immediate circle is gonna be enough to provide the insight to help us solve things. And the reality is, is that, you know, you don't know what you don't know.
And so if you're in your own world and then you're only asking your friend or your grandma or your best friend, but they're all doing the same thing that you're doing, like you're still all Works for us, Right? Like you're, you're, you're, you're still stuck inside your own vacuum. You, you don't know all this knowledge that's sitting on the periphery ready to,
to be accessed. Right? And I think that, that reaching out to talk to a coach is just not a scary thing. 'cause you always, as a parent, you wanna know what your options are. And the good news is that for a lot of families, they think that if they have an older child, there's no options. But there's absolutely,
sleep is a learned skill. We can teach the skills of sleep to any child. I tend to work with children up to age 10. Some people will say, but what if my child is 12, 13, 14, 15? That can also be t taught, I can refer you to people that need that. But you know, as they get older, some of this fear,
anxiety and stuff starts young and it gets stickier and stickier and stickier. So parents that ignore it at the young age end up with a stickier. And so you kind of knew, you're like, no, we don't need to keep this going, that we need to get the support now. So she doesn't have to keep having that feeling anymore. So thank you for trusting me all these years.
We've got, I guess we've got like, see what's, see eight minus three is five. So five years we've known each other or three times. So thank you to you and your husband for trusting you. I'm so happy that you're a part of the well-rested revolution Are, we are very well rested now in this house. That is absolutely For sure.
Thank you.