Unveiling the Truth: Debunking Common Sleep Coaching Myths!
I’m here to clear the confusion around some common sleep coaching myths. You know, the ones that make you second-guess the effectiveness of gentle sleep methods. Today, I'm putting on “my myth-busting mindset” to address a couple of these misconceptions.
Myth #1: The "Chair Method" means silent nights with no response whatsoever.
Ah, the Chair Method confusion! I hear it all the time – the idea that you sit there like a statue, offering no comfort or connection. Well, let me set the record straight. For over 25 years, The Sleep Lady Shuffle, has been a beacon of gentle, responsive sleep coaching. Yes, you sit in that chair, but it's not a vow of silence. The parent coach can Shush, coo, hum, and offer the warmth of touch – it's all encouraged! This method is about gradual steps, moving the chair away over time while still offering both sound and touch as reassurance. It is very supportive because the parent does not have to “withhold” their love.
Myth #2: The Chair Method or the Shuffle is "basically crying-it-out while sitting next to your child".
No, no, no! It's not a solo act of crying-it-out while you awkwardly sit there. Picture it as a beautiful dance of support and gradual independence. We're right there, side by side, creating a comforting rhythm until your child masters the art of settling and soothing to sleep without the need of a sleep crutch. It's not a sudden leap, but a graceful transition of sleep responsibility from you to your child. One gentle step at a time. Usually it takes about 2 weeks for the nigh-time sleeping to become beautiful, blissful sleep.
Myth #3: Gentle sleep training methods don't work; only crying-it-out is proven.
Hold the phone! This one is a classic mix-up. Gentle methods, like the parental fading technique, are likely more effective than the cry-it-out approach because a parent is in the room to witness all the learning and support their child through the sleep skills learning process. Parents start with lots of help and gradually loosen up as the child learns the skills of sleep. It's all about finding the right balance between assistance and independence. In fact, I find that many families try “cry-it-out” and it only works for a short period because the child never really learned sleep skills, they simply learned how to “crash out” at bedtime, instead of settling and soothing to sleep.
Join me on a mission to debunk common misconceptions about sleep coaching and The Sleep Lady Shuffle, ensuring parents receive accurate information empowers them to make informed decisions for a restful night's sleep without compromising the vital parent-child bond. Let's spread the word together!
Click HERE to read the full article from Kim West herself
Check out my Instagram, Facebook and Linked-in because over the next couple of months, I will be debunking the myths around sleep coaching.
And if you are curious about wanting help from a Gentle Sleep Coach, you can download this handy check-list that will overview when it is time to engage some expert sleep support.
Unveiling The Truth: Debunking Myths about The Sleep Lady Shuffle and Gentle Sleep Coaching
Today I want to address some misconceptions surrounding The Sleep Lady Shuffle—a sleep coaching methodology meticulously crafted by Kim West, LCSW-C, nearly three decades ago. It's essential to set the record straight, emphasizing that The Sleep Lady Shuffle is rooted in sound sleep science and is a gentle, effective method for cultivating healthy sleep habits and maintaining a strong parent-child bond.
The Sleep Lady Shuffle, also known as The Shuffle, SLS, or The Chair Method, has been a trusted solution for families worldwide for over 25 years. As a family therapist, Kim West, designed the Sleep Lady Shuffle method based on sleep science, attachment theory, and behavioral science, prioritizing the mental, physical, and emotional health of the child with emphasis on maintaining a strong parent-child bond.
Contrary to recent interpretations, this technique is NOT about leaving your child in distress with no response. If done correctly, The Sleep Lady Shuffle, involves placing a chair next to your child's crib while simultaneously encouraging physical and verbal reassurance, such as shushing, patting, humming, and even picking up to soothe your little one.
Join me on a mission to debunk common misconceptions about sleep coaching and The Sleep Lady Shuffle, ensuring parents receive accurate information empowers them to make informed decisions for a restful night's sleep without compromising the vital parent-child bond. Let's spread the word together!
Click HERE to read the full article from Kim West herself on the true tenants and benefits of The Sleep Lady Shuffle.
Check out my Instagram, Facebook and Linked-in because over the next couple of months, I will be debunking the myths around sleep coaching.
And if you are curious about wanting help from a Gentle Sleep Coach, you can download this handy check-list that will overview when it is time to engage some expert sleep support.
Are you looking for alternatives to cry it out methods? Could you use support?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
Nap Training Tips
In this video titled “Get Your Life Back... It Starts With Sleep”, we talk about what is possible to do to help a 5 month to 6 month old baby to have better night sleep and do better at Nap Training!
When is baby ready for sleep training
When we are looking at sleep training baby who is 5.5 months old, we need to first look to see if this child is showing readiness for independent sleep. You want to ask yourself 3 questions and you want a YES to all three.
Has your child gone through the 4-5 month milestone that usually accompanies a sleep regression. If you want to know more about milestones, you will definitely want to get THE WONDER WEEKS BOOK and APP that will guide you how to manage milestones so you can help you child move through them with ease and success.
Can your child roll front-to-back and back-to-front?
Have you ever seen the baby go back to sleep without any sleep crutches (rocking, patting, cosleeping) or sleep support like a bottle, paci replug etc? ?
When to start nap training baby
It is not advised to nap train your child until your child has learned independent sleep skills at bedtime and are linking arousals in the middle of the night, without any need for sleep crutches or sleep support. So, once your child is sleeping independently at night, then you can create the right circumstances and use the right timing for your child to practice these same sleep skills at nap time. Babies need to be able to regulate, settle and soothe themselves to sleep at the onset of sleep at bedtime and middle of night. Once they have nailed those sleep skills at night, it is much, much easier for them to be able to use those same settling and soothing behaviors for nap onset and arousals at naps.
Watch the hot seat coaching below to get nap training tips! This mom has a nearly 6 month old baby that she is interested in nap training and she is looking for all the tips.
Remember, you want to understand when your baby is in a milestone because you never want to night train or nap train during this time because they are already do massive cognitive and physical development. So you definitely want to get the Wonder Weeks APP as well as hard-copy Wonder Weeks book.
Important to know, if your child is in a “milestone madness” they will have horrible day and night sleep and in that case you are probably experiencing a sleep regression because of the milestone. So here is a guide to help you through some regression behavior.
In the meantime, these are some of the topics I cover in the video.
how long should a 6 month old nap
how to get 6 month old to nap
sleep training 6 month old breastfed baby
how to get baby to nap longer than 30 minutes
how to get baby to nap without being held
Are you struggling with your child's sleep?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
Happy New Year! I'm gifting you my # 1 International Best Selling Book
As a heartfelt thank you for your ongoing support and as a gesture of holiday cheer, I'm excited to gift you a copy of The One Thing Every Mom Needs to Know.
When I decided to team up with 25 leading experts in the fields of sleep, nutrition, mindset, and more to create the book I set a goal to reach 100,000 moms with this accurate and reliable information.
Why? Because I believe this book can change mom’s lives.
Your copy of THE ONE THING EVERY MOM NEEDS TO KNOW is available now, click below and receive this #1 International Best Seller. Download available on January 1, 2024.
And I also want you to have the audio chapter on Baby Sleep Skills available today.
This chapter is devoted to unpacking how restful sleep originates not from having a ‘good baby’ or a ‘fussy baby’…but from acquiring the skills of sleep.
Skills you can teach your child— which will last a lifetime.
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Happy New Year and may you have Blissful Sleep in 2024 and beyond!
Merry Xmas or Happy Holidays!!! I'm gifting you my # 1 International Best Selling Book
As a heartfelt thank you for your ongoing support and as a gesture of holiday cheer, I'm excited to gift you a copy of The One Thing Every Mom Needs to Know.
When I decided to team up with 25 leading experts in the fields of sleep, nutrition, mindset, and more to create the book I set a goal to reach 100,000 moms with this accurate and reliable information.
Why? Because I believe this book can change mom’s lives.
Your copy of THE ONE THING EVERY MOM NEEDS TO KNOW is available now, click below and receive this #1 International Best Seller. Download available on December 24 and 25, 2023.
And I also want you to have the audio chapter on Baby Sleep Skills available today.
This chapter is devoted to unpacking how restful sleep originates not from having a ‘good baby’ or a ‘fussy baby’…but from acquiring the skills of sleep.
Skills you can teach your child— which will last a lifetime.
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Happy Holidays and may you have Blissful Sleep in 2024 and beyond!
Harming Parents' Happiness
The Huffington Post featured a great article "The 1 Thing That Therapists Say Harms Parents' Happiness Most" .
The article covers:
The Pressure To Be Perfect
Rigid Expectations Of Your Child
A Feeling Of Shame
Social Media
As someone who works with parents daily, I had to share this article with you because I see these themes showing up with the families I work with.
The following article resonated with me because it is the exact situation many families are in when they try Do-It-Yourself (DIY) sleep coaching. Many families do something I call “sleep-train on the edges”. Imperfect DIY sleep training looks like googling some sleep suggestions, reading bits and pieces of books, and half-watching the videos on youtube. All these resources give you confusing and contradictory advice. Consequently, there is systematic incremental approach to learning sleep skills, but instead just confusing attempts fueled by the thought… “I hope this works” or “why dont we try this instead”. This scattered approach only leads to more tears and more protest for both child and parent. Sleep does not improve and the parent feels like a failure or that their child is doomed ot be a bad sleeper. This leads to much unhappiness…as the article perfectly states:
"Instead of feeling happy, we often feel defeated, or like we have failed. Repeated attempts to do something and then having it not work out can lead to a sense of “learned helplessness,” Bren explained, in which “we stop believing it’s possible and we give up."
When all we see on social media is “picture perfect” moments, it's hard to not feel alone like you feel you are the only one struggling.
It's hard not to experience overwhelm and relentless self-judgment when you have tried DIY sleep coaching and your child is STILL not sleeping.
I want all sleep deprived families who have tried and failed at DIY Sleep Training to know that hope and help is available to solve ALL your sleep struggles.
It is NEVER too late to teach your child the skills of sleep (I work with kids 6 months to 10 years of age).
Here is why you don’t have to feel helpless. The mastery of healthy sleep habits is a vitally important life skill. As parents, we coach our children on fundamental skills such as walking and reading, and so it is natural to safely and gently coach your child on learning the "skills of sleep”, which are self-settling and self-soothing to sleep without the need of sleep crutches.
Unfortunately, good sleep isn’t a milestone that most children reach by themselves. In order for parents to enjoy the benefits of calm bedtimes, peaceful nights and reliable naps, parents must purposely decide how and when to "teach the skills sleep."
I know you want to help your child learn these vitally important life skills for their proper health and development. You’re here because you’re searching for answers, support, and a solution that gets you—and your family—better sleep, and more of it. You’ve read the books, you’ve done your research, and sought information from family, friends, and your child’s pediatrician. All that information can be conflicting and confusing, especially when you’re exhausted.
There is absolutely no need to live life in a confused and sleep-deprived haze when there is hope and help available. It’s perfectly OK to ask for HELP in teaching your child these vitally important life skills.
I am always so honored when a family trusts me to solve their child's sleep struggles especially after many failed attempts. A Total Family Sleep Transformation leads to well-rested family and especially your happiness.
If you want to hear from families that have tried and failed and reached out for expert sleep support and tell their sleep success story.
Are you done doing DIY Sleep Coaching? It’s time to talk to Joanna.
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
School Age Sleep Struggles: An 8 Year Old’s Journey to Blissful Sleep
My kid can’t sleep without me…even at ages 5-10 years of age.
What are elementary school sleep needs anyway?
I get these questions all the time.
The good news is that all sleep issues for elementary students are solvable.
Skepticism is normal!
How does this even work?
How is this magical promise even possible?
Is it worth your time?
Is it worth your money?
Try not to let skepticism stop you from getting the help you need.
One of my clients was in a desperate place of exhaustion when they reached out about their 8 year old’s sleep challenges that were spilling over into affecting the entire family's evening.
Mom describes the challenges here.
"Starting at 5pm, like clockwork, a meltdown process began. Fighting. Negotiating. Everything was being impacted. It was unmanageable from everyone's perspective."
A no-nonsense friend recommended Joanna after seeing success with their own school-age child. With the lack of options and this personal recommendation from a trusted friend, my client moved past skepticism and pursued support.
This family experienced a Total Family Sleep Transformation and within a month, we had a celebration call to share their Sleep Success Story!
Collaborating with the child to build their Sleep Plan is so important especially with ages 5-10 years. We work as a team, give options and autonomy in order to build confidence for child even before we even start any formal sleep training. The unity between the parents and the child holds us all accountable to make the incremental steps and achieve small wins along the way. This leads to a child sleeping independently at bedtime and sleeping soundly in their own bed all night long. They waking up well-rested and proud of their sleep independence. Not only sleep but a major confidence boost when your child sees what they are capable of.
Watch this family's Sleep Success Story:
From This:
Desperate & exhausted.
Fighting amongst the family.
Mother and sister being "held hostage" with their daughters lack of sleep skills.
High drama. High anxiety.
Dinner filled with tantrums & anxiety about bedtime.
Tantrums & meltdowns.
To This:
Falling asleep independently.
Sleeping 11 hours.
Sisters enjoy hanging out with each other.
Predictability & calm bedtime
Enjoyable family time at dinner
Confident & emotionally resilient
Improved relationships.
This successful family wants everyone to know about the benefits of sleep coaching with Joanna at Blissful Baby Sleep Coaching:
"Bad sleep is absolutely fixable, it's not something you have to live with. I am so glad we didn't let our own ideas of what was going to work or not work impact our momentum or prevent us from seeing this success. Go all in. Surrender to the process.”
Are you struggling with your child's sleep?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
Sleepless Nights: How Anxiety Affects a Child's Sleep
Childhood is often viewed as a carefree period, but the reality is that anxiety can cast its shadow even over the youngest minds. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), approximately 7% of children aged 3-17 experience an anxiety disorder.
As a Gentle Sleep Coach, I see anxiety popping up in families and affecting children's sleep. Anxiety can sneak up on a previously good and independent sleeper and start causing chaos at starting dinner all the way through bedtime and into the night.
Anxiety can manifest in various ways that impact a child's sleep:
Effects of Anxiety on Sleep
Trouble Falling Asleep: Anxious thoughts can make it challenging for children to unwind, leading to difficulties in falling asleep at bedtime. Children will demand parental presence and won’t let a parent leave the room.
Nightmares and Night Terrors: Anxiety can trigger distressing dreams or night terrors, causing awakenings during the night and disrupting sleep patterns. Scared children want lots of additional attention in the night.
Frequent Awakenings: Children with anxiety may wake up multiple times during the night, finding it hard to return to sleep due to worries. Children will wander to their parents or siblings room and will always need parental support to go back to sleep.
Early Morning Waking: Anxiety can cause children to wake up earlier than desired, even when they haven't had sufficient sleep. Children wake up and want to start their day sometime between 3-6am.
Causes of Childhood Anxiety
Childhood anxiety can stem from a combination of genetic, environmental, and developmental factors such family history of anxiety, major life changes (new sibling or a move or divorce), and exposure to traumatic events can contribute to the development of anxiety disorders. Additionally, children's limited ability to communicate their feelings effectively can lead to internalized stress.
Signs of Childhood Anxiety
Recognizing the signs of anxiety in young children is essential for early intervention. The AACAP notes that children up to age 10 might exhibit behaviors like excessive clinging to caregivers, avoidance of new situations, frequent nightmares, and physical symptoms such as stomach-aches or headaches
Empowering children with strategies to manage their anxiety lays a foundation for their emotional well-being.
Emotion Identification: Teach children to recognize and label their emotions. This helps them express their feelings and seek support when needed.
Structured Routine: Create a predictable daily routine to provide a sense of stability, which can alleviate anxiety related to uncertainty.
Play Therapy: Utilize play as a therapeutic tool. Play allows children to externalize their feelings and fears, making them easier to address.
Positive Reinforcement: Praise and acknowledge their efforts to face anxiety-provoking situations. This boosts their confidence and self-esteem.
The Anxiety-Sleep Connection
Anxiety and sleep have a bidirectional relationship, where anxiety can disrupt sleep, and insufficient sleep can exacerbate anxiety. Anxiety can lead to racing thoughts, bedtime fears, and heightened arousal, making it difficult for children to fall asleep or stay asleep. On the other hand, insufficient sleep can contribute to irritability and heightened sensitivity to stress, amplifying anxious feelings.
Anxiety can silently impact young children, affecting their emotional growth and overall well-being. By understanding the causes, identifying the signs, and implementing effective coping strategies, parents and caregivers can provide invaluable support to children up to age 10. Early interventions can be so helpful and getting support from a therapist or an occupational therapist can shape how children perceive and manage stress throughout their lives.
Managing Anxiety-Induced Sleep Problems
Addressing anxiety-related sleep disturbances often requires a multi-faceted approach.
Establish a Calming Bedtime Routine: Create a soothing routine before bedtime, incorporating activities like reading, gentle stretches, or deep breathing exercises to help ease anxious feelings.
Create a Comfortable Sleep Environment: Ensure the sleep environment is conducive to relaxation. A dark, quiet room with a comfortable mattress and calming bedtime rituals can promote better sleep.
Open Communication: Encourage your child to talk about their worries during the day to prevent them from accumulating at bedtime
Limit Stimulants: Reduce caffeine and screen time, no more than 2 hrs, before bedtime, as these can contribute to anxiety and disrupt sleep.
Professional Support: If anxiety significantly impacts your child's sleep and daily life, consider consulting a pediatrician or child psychologist for guidance and a trained and certified sleep coach.
When I work with families struggling with this we focus on calming the anxiety and making bedtime a calm, enjoyable process before starting coaching kids to learn their "skills of sleep". We look at the family unit, the history, struggles, goals and values to customize a plan that works for their family and their unique child.
If you are interested in a great book recommendation, What To Do When You Worry To Much: A Kids Guide to Overcoming Anxiety is a great option especially for kids age 6-10. Yes, it is NEVER too late to teach your child the skills of sleep to enjoy calm, easy bedtimes, peaceful nights and a harmonious household.
References:
National Alliance on Mental Health https://namica.org/types-of-illnesses/#:~:text=Anxiety%20disorders%20are%20the%20most,develop%20symptoms%20before%20age%2021.
https://www.momwell.com/blog/how-to-help-a-child-regulate-their-emotions
Are you struggling with your child's sleep?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!
New Baby On Board = Toddler Sleep Regression
Welcoming a new baby into the family is an exciting time filled with joy and anticipation. However, it can also bring about some unexpected challenges, especially when it comes to your toddler's sleep. If you've noticed changes in your toddler's sleep patterns since the new family member arrived, you're not alone. Toddler sleep regressions are common during this family transition period, but there are strategies to help your child and your family get through it.
Regressions are NORMAL after a major life transition such as bringing home a new baby.
You will want to watch this Podcast Interview I did with Ann McKitrick, of Parenting in the First 3 Years Podcast where I discuss 2 scenarios that are often common with toddlers after baby comes home:
A toddler who was a "beautiful sleeper" and sleep just fell apart after bringing home the baby.
A toddler who always had sleep struggles at bedtime or the middle of the night, or was a bad napper and now the problem is far more difficult and challenging, such that, it’s becoming a major source of contention, overwhelm and sleep deprivation.
Topics Discussed:
The challenge of a new sibling
The toddler factor
Sleep disruptions and regression
Tips for Parents
Understanding sleep coaching
Listen in now for some great strategies and tips to help you navigate these challenges and ensure everyone in your family gets the rest they need.
To learn more about Ann McKitrick, MS, Early Childhood Specialist & Parenting Coach
Are you struggling with your child's sleep?
The first step to see if I can help you achieve beautiful, blissful sleep is to schedule a 60 minute ZOOM sleep strategy session. Go to this link and complete the contact me form and I will be in touch within 24 hours with directions on how to schedule your Sleep Strategy Session.
If you are still wondering if I can help, please know I do NOT advocate 'cry-it-out'. I am a Gentle Sleep Coach. If you want to learn about my guilt-free and gentle process, please go to these links.
The Blissful Baby Stairway to Sleep
Please join my Sleep is Bliss Tribe in Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn so we can stay connected and you can continue to get amazing resources on sleep and family wellness.
Sleep is Bliss, Let's Get you more!